****ty luck, right? Anyway, here's the deal. I met this girl the beginning of this semester (senior year of high school). We hit it off almost instantly as friends, and have come pretty close in the following weeks. She is honestly amazing and has everything I value in a woman in more, but I won't bore you with irrelevancies like that. Case in point - I'm starting tofall for her.

There's just one problem. She has a boyfriend she's been seeing for almost a year. Despite this, I have been flirting with her quite a bit and have been getting positive responses, but I have been playing it safe and the flirting has been mostly innocent. There have been occasions where the flirting has gotten physical, but I try and only initiate that type as much as she does - I'm not one to meddle with relationships. Basically, to give you an idea of where things stand, I would have probably stepped things up already had she been single. I've even had friends that have seen her and I interacting come up to me and tell me that they definitely think I should pursue her, I have a good shot, and that her current boyfriend is a jerk. I don't know him well so I can't contend to this.

So yeah, I don't really know what to do. Should I keep the flirting casual and just keep growing on her until she eventually does break up with her boyfriend? It seems like the smart and honorable thing to do, but I don't know if I can stomach it. I can tell you right now that I've never felt this strongly about a girlfriend/potential girlfriend before. I'm really falling for her.

If she was really interested she'd break up with her boyfriend, it's not like they're married. The fact that she's still with him means she's not only off limits, but not that serious about you.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but the truth often is.

Stop flirting with her until she's single. The honorable thing to do is to leave the girls that are in a relationship, alone.

Good luck.

Don't worry, it's not harsh. I'd rather hear the truth even if it sucks vs a good lie. I also probably should have originally stated this, but I found out that she had a boyfriend after I had taken significant interest in her and started flirting. From the kind of response I was getting I never would have guessed she was in a relationship; I was pretty darn surprised when I found out.

I must agree with altenweg, she is in a relationship and off limits. Sadly I was the boyfriend who lost his girl in this way. We were in a long distance relationship and from what I've heard from friends is some guy kept spending time with her until she let him take my place. Id do anything to get her back. As a decent man respect that she is in a relationship and stay her friend but find other interests.

Until she is single, she is friends only. So back off for your own sake, and stop all that flirting because you just fall deeper.

Let me ask you what would be gained by you breaking up their relationship, for the sake of one of your own? What would you be thinking of her when YOU are not around? Maybe she is flirting with someone else?! How would that make you feel?

Yeah, okay. I honestly didn't expect answers that are much different. I'll just continue advancing the friendship until the inevitable break-up, which will hopefully occur sooner than later.

Comment on awayandalone's post

I'm really sorry to hear that, bro. I also truly appreciate that you didn't freak out at me for posing such a question, considering what you've been through. Long distance relationships suck, hard. Good luck! :)

Buffalo, just to reinforce what has been said, she is off limits to you while she has a boyfriend, but as a guy you are entitled to telling her how you feel about her, but, you have to make her make the decision for herself, flirting for girls in teen years is very common because they have not yet made a distinction between flirting and being friendly. So tell her, let her make her own decision, and as you said on your latest post, all you can do is hope for her to break up with her current boyfriend and maybe give you a chance.

Good Luck,

Javi

Eh, I don't know about that. Don't want to put pressure on her to do anything and don't want to take the chance that things would become really awkward between us. Yes, my efforts have been well-received, but that doesn't mean she's about to ditch this guy over me. Better just to let this guy blow over. She's gone through quite a few boyfriends in her life for a 17 year old (like 4 or so) so I'm not too worried that this one won't end. Also, I'd rather go about this subtly and not just put things blatantly out in the open right now. Maybe later, but not now.

Do your thing player, two players who like to play, should interesting.

Lolwut?

Buffalo17 does not find this helpful : Not clear what is being said, and not funny if its supposed to be a joke.

No joke buddy, none, and I find nothing amusing about your comments, so what my last post was about me smelling a lot of game on both your parts.


Eh, I don't know about that. Don't want to put pressure on her to do anything and don't want to take the chance that things would become really awkward between us.
Either your nose is open, or you are ignoring the facts, as you have written them. Most obvious is that you don't respect her relationship, nor believe it is serious enough to change your conduct which is full steam ahead. So you click and have a ball, and flirt with each other, how is that a reason not to back off? Oh that's right, you don't care she is with someone else. That's player mentality by you both. That she continues to flirt, lead you on, or whatever she is doing, proves that.

Yes, my efforts have been well-received, but that doesn't mean she's about to ditch this guy over me. Better just to let this guy blow over.
While she grooms you to be the next boyfriend?? And you go for it??

She's gone through quite a few boyfriends in her life for a 17 year old (like 4 or so) so I'm not too worried that this one won't end.
Like a good player you know who your playing with, and see possibilities, and so does she or else why would she be even playing with you??

Also, I'd rather go about this subtly and not just put things blatantly out in the open right now. Maybe later, but not now.
Like most playa's, you got your plan together. Just sit back in the cut, and stay close enough to know when you will make your move, and get your reward. She will let you know so all you do is wait, and amuse each other in the meantime. Like I said, and others have to, a young social game that two playa's do for fun and giggles.

You haven't answered the question of how you would feel if she added you to the list, and started flirting with someone behind your back, like she is doing to her boyfriend now?? That's because you are in it to win it, and that's all you care about, so it goes back to what I said before, either your nose is wide open, and you are blind to facts, or you are a grade A would be, want to be player, and you don't give a damn about the facts.

You pick.

Wow I am going through the same thing, only difference: the girl I like is dating a chick.