This is a true story, as brutal as it is it is all true.

Me and my best mate live in the same place, we used to work together, go to the gym together, really good friends. I've known him for around 6 years. I went to school with his younger sister, who lived downstairs from us. We got to become amazingly good friends and sooner than later we started to get intimate and eventually got together.

After 3 months of a romantic relationship with her she asked me for a break. There were a lot of issues like stupid fights and I was crowding her because in my mind I fell absolutely head over heels in love. She felt I was too needy and it probably seemed that way from the way I acted, not the usual cool and collected guy that I am.

At this stage I freak out, I panicked big time and constantly tried to call her, asked all her friends what to do.. You name it. I got the same answer every time, to leave it. I didn't take the advice and now everything is a complete and utter mess. She thinks I'm stalking her, she moved out to a new place and if I even try to call her she tells her brother (again my best mate) that I'm trying to stalk her, to which he gets pretty angry. I don't blame him it's his sister after all.

His girlfriend lives with us as well and she is good friends with my ex, we don't get along now and pretty much all of our mutual friends are on her side about it and I can never go out with anyone to hang out if she is there.

I still love her with all my heart and everyone tells me to let go, I've cried so much it's not even funny I hardly feel like a man anymore and it's pretty much the worst time in my entire life. What can I do to get her back? I will do anything at this stage, I've been told to wait 2 years... But I don't know if I'll survive that long without her.

I think most of us have been there at some point in our lives. Don't be embarrassed by your story. You're still very much a man, but the more you give your heart to someone when in a relationship- the harder it is to get it back once the relationship comes to an end.
Be wary of your behaviour however. You were fine before her, and you can be fine after her. The people you've been speaking to are right... it will take time. Sounds to me like what you have to figure out is why you want/need(?) to be with her so badly. I understand you love her but it's obviously causing you some grief. Trust that we don't actually need others to 'complete' us or make us feel a certain way... you can get all this from yourself. Having someone else is just a bonus.
As harsh as this is about to sound- don't put all your hopes into 'getting her back'. If she's moved/not taking your calls, she may be moving on. This could be a great opportunity for you to do the same. I hope it all works out for you.

Leave her alone guy, as all your doing is showing everyone and her, how irrational you are in your actions, At some point you either stop doing what your doing, and start to accept how screwed up you have become, as well as scary, and get help for it. You continue along this bad path, and nothing good will come from it.

You do need some help in my opinion, and I hope you get it.

The reason the she is assuming that you are stalking her, is because YOU ARE! This woman got desperate enough to move away from you and what do you do, you still try to call her! She has broke it off, moved on with her life, has shown you the common descency ofnot trying to contact you nor trying to use you as as left over option.
If you want to start getting respect from your mates for being a stand up guy, then start acting like one. Stop trying to find excuses to contact her in ANY WAY!
You should be thankful that her brother must still find some value in your friendship, because most would have knocked the crap out you and then had restraining order put against you for the continuous harassment you are showing toward his sister.
Listen most of us are or have been exactly were you are. Having our emotions crushed by the person we loved. None of us are saying that its quick or easy to get over. But its time to face facts. Its time to move on with your life.
Get out with friends of your own, NOT her brother. You need to find a new place to live, being roommates with her brother is not going to help your situation. Start doing something you have always wanted to but never could find the time. Also get some professional help, someone that you can talk to get all these emotions off your chest. Good luck

Unfortunately, you going through some emotional turmoil, so you may not be acting entirely rationally. First off, before you worry about getting her back, you need to cool off. You need to take a few steps back and work on yourself. Learn from your mistakes and make yourself a better person. Once you've gained some confidence in your abilities and allowed the emotional dust to settle, then you can think about the break up again. By then, you will feel more objective when reflecting on the break up.

Throughout this time, it's best that you leave her alone, she's make it abundantly clear that she doesn't want to keep in contact with you, so forcing the issue will only make matters worse. Please check out the no contact related threads in my signature.

Remember, work on yourself before worrying about someone or something else.

It is hard to let go of something we so dearly hold close to us. Take it from me, who just got out of a great relationship with a horrible break up. But, the only thing we can do is to let go. At this point she doesn't even want to talk to you and calls her brother to protect her from you knowing that you two are friends, so unless she is trying to break that friendship up further she is doing it because she too does not know how to handle your actions anymore. Let me repeat something: it is hard. There is no other way to heal from a relationship other than to give yourself time. Don't let your manhood ever be in questions by you if you feel like crying, media and social networks have made it seem that man are not allow to cry. That is not the case! We are just as emotional as females are and we are entitled to show our emotions and to grieve in whatever dam way we want to!! Crying is normal when you are heart broken and every man in this world has probably cried from a relationship problem because IT IS a painful situation to deal with. Let this go, and before you know it you won't be thinking about her and will be emotionally stable to meet someone else, someone who actually wants your attention and to be with you. So wait for that person, and you'll see that when the time comes you will be a lot happier with someone that WANTS you instead of trying to get back with a relationship that has been OVER for some time now.

Good Luck,

Javi

Me and my ex had an absolutely horrible break up with a whole number of issues involved (one being that she is my best friend and room mate's sister, and is good friends with his girlfriend who also lives with us.)

Even whilst we were taking a break she slept with someone, on the same night that I stayed up worried about her knowing what she was up to in my gut. I was scorned for acting that way by her when I spoke to her next "how could you wait outside for me all night?! You're a stalker, that's way too much!" yet she was actually with someone else... I only found out the other day.

The best bit is she is now with someone else... Not even giving me the respect or courtesy to wait a few weeks before getting involved in another relationship. My opinion of her has dramatically changed needless to say, I thought she had integrity and dignity but for her to just do that, seems so old, cruel and harsh to say, a thing that a slut would do.

What is the BEST way to not only get over her for ever, and maybe get a little emotional revenge on her? Will ignoring her and acting cool when her the guy she's seeing are around really work? There must be some good insider techniques to help me out? Anyone?

The best thing you can do is just go No Contact! But, do it for YOU not for some sort of revenge. Shut her out of your life and move on with yours. Work on getting all this anger and any other issues out of your system so you can prepare yourself for someone else who hopefully will not treat you this way.Learn why you ignored or didn't pick up the sinals she was most likely giving you before she bailed. Asking for or going on a "break" is just one of them.
Just by implimenting NC you are basically telling her, "I don't need you in my life, you don't deserve me!". She will most probably try to contact you at some point... ignore her, remain steadfast, keep you distance.
I wouldn't make revenge your #1 priority. I can't see how it would help anything... make you and your life your sole priority right now.

Best revenge---is showing that you are moving on with your life. Proving that you have what it takes to succeed in life.

It happened to me too. After a week on pleading I said something very nasty that made her completely back off.
I realized it was truly over and had to move on. I did use this video to help, it did make me cry but I felt better after it and more positive. Don't be afraid to cry - if you don't, the emotions are all built up and can become unbearable

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