Hi, I'm 19 and my boyfriends 20 and we have sex like once a week and that's not enough for me. He says his sex drive just isn't as high as mine is but I don't really believe him. I think we should be having a lot more sex at this age. And when we actually do have sex he has a problem because he cums really early so as he is done and laying there I am stuck in the bed unsatisfied. I try to get him to have sex again after but he says it hurts his penis or something. He is really sensitve about the ******* early and gets really embarrassed about it so if I ever try to talk about trying to do something about it he gets very defensive. I mentioned to him about me buying a dildo, but he just got mad and doesn't want me to. I just have no idea what to do anymore I am totally sexually frustrated and just at my witts end about this. How can I make him more horny or what can help him with his ******* early problem?

Make him get you off with oral or touching before you let his penis anywhere near your vagina.

There's no premature ejaculation when you're not doing anything to make him ejaculate.

Next--even if he DOES ejaculate before you are done, he should be taking care of you. You need to TELL him so.

And if you think it will take a dildo to get off because he's not helping you do so, then go get one. Explain to him WHY you got it, and invite him to help you use it, but let him know that women get "blue balls" too, and the sexual frustration you are suffering is causing you to resent him.

Yes, there are many ways he can satisfy you and should be doing so.

First off. Sexual drives and desires do vary per individual so saying you don't believe him is not the way to go.

Now could he be lying? Yes, but he could be telling the truth. That's when communication and honesty comes into effect. If you feel you're mature enough to have sex you have to deal with all aspects, which involves a deep conversation into eachothers desires and wants or lack-there-of.

Him getting mad over you wanting a dildo is somewhat understandable to me. It's almost like a slap in the face. Now I am in a different situation as you. My wife and I have a very healthy, and very active sex life so f my wife said tat to me I would feel disrespected that I am not good enough. Your b/f on the other hand may need to realize that you have wants, and a compromise should be in place.

Now, about him ejaculating early. Tough luck that's how he was born, there's little you can do to change that so that's when you need to talk with him. Tell him you get sexually frustrated after he goes and leaves you high and dry.

In a situation like this, between two individuals who view themselves as mature enough to have sex, should have no problem communicating, opening their minds and explaining their feelings to one another to make each other happy.

I hope this helps.

Rick

I also agree with the posters who say he can get you off by hand or mouth before he even gets his turn. If that's possible for you. (hey some girls can't)

Work on it, play around (with your b/f that is) it could be fun.

Rick

MORE women need oral or manual stimulation than can reach orgasm through intercourse.

And frankly--if he's leaving her high and dry, he DESERVES to be slapped in the face with the idea of a dildo.

If he can't either bring her to completion first, KNOWING that he has premature ejaculation, or cannot take the time AFTER to give her an orgasm--well, a dildo is the LEAST of his problems.

NO WAY would I put up with that crap. If he is selfish enough to go with the wham, bam, thank you ma'am method, and talking to him about it causes him to shy away from the discussion or get defensive--my vibrator would be popping out at the beginning of intercourse.

Maybe losing his erection due to that "slap in the face" would cause him to slow down and take the time to stimulate HER.

PS--I'm betting a HUGE part of this is that he doesn't spend enough time on foreplay in general.

PPS--you can TRAIN yourself to not prematurely ejaculate. The method is posted all over the internet and in a lot of sexual self-help books.

Essentially, there is NO excuse for his behavior besides pure selfishness.

Synnen- I can't help but feel the anger toward me. If you reread what I wrote I clearly say in my situation that's how I would feel (because our situations are so much different)

"Now I am in a different situation as you.
Your b/f on the other hand may need to realize that you have wants, and a compromise should be in place."

Rick

If he waits a week to have sex... its no damned wonder he gets off so quick. The boy has a lot to learn... a LOT.

The fact he gets defensive and refuses to do anything about it, shows he's a self centered twirp.

There are plenty of ways a guy can make sure the girl gets hers... if he doesn't give a hoot about it then you should see it for what it is... just one sign that you should be looking for a new boyfriend. As with most parts of a relationship, BOTH parties should be willing to work on issues that arrise.

Toys can be fun and helpful in any relationship whether the sex is every day and out of this world or there are issues. Quite frankly, if you are old enough to have sex, you are old enough to buy yourself a dildo or vibrator without asking permission from your boyfriend.

Perhaps the two of you need to look into toys together. Not just for you but those that can aid him in slowing down the premature ejaculation.

As for frequency, not everyone is having sex every day at age 19/20. Do some reading and you will find that once a week is a pretty good average when you take schedules, stress, etc. into account.

Synnen may be right about foreplay. How much attention is spent on getting him aroused compared to time spent getting you aroused? He isn't going to be able to last long if the focus is on getting him erect and keeping it that way while you are being aroused. Timing can be everything.

No matter what else you do or try, communication is still going to be the key. If you can't talk to him without a confrontation or defensiveness from either one of you, then don't have sex at all until you can. Either that or let each other go to find more suitable partners. There is absolutely no sense hurting each other and getting frustrated and angry when there are other recourses.