Hello, I'm Jack and I want to ask something that is really comfusing me at this time of my life!

I'm 17 and I really like a girl for like 2 year now... I try to write the past and the present details of our "relationship" in hope somebody can help me with a honest and propably helping answer :)

- A year ago, I've asked the girl out for a date, and she said yes, but I've messed that up so our relationship went to descend a lot.
- Later ,about May we started to talk really much and she actually changed me (I'm trying to be honest and kind with everybody since May). We talked trough summer, meet with each other a couple of times, and we had good times, but I didn't want to rush her with my feelings so I was really helping and kind as much as I could in the measures of meeting once in a week.
- From now on, I've always invited her every Friday, and I have been a real gentlemen with her: opened doors, gave her my jacket if it was cold at night, bought her a drink, escorted her home without wanting only a reward kiss or something; as much as I talk to our friends that nights I talk to her, so I've really balanced the lovemaking to get our own private spaces and everything, just to make a little difference between me and the other guys in our group. She was really kind, and always thanked me or hugged me for every "good deeds" I have done to her :) Later on we started to speak about love, sex, passion, not only just chit-chatting.

And her comes the part I can't understand:
- One week ago, I think she really started to play hard to get; when we talk, after 2-3 minutes she rushes to "study" or everything, only reply in 3 days for a text (or call me). I was really sad about this, I think she noticed that and apologized for refusing this Friday night and for the last weeks rushing-aways today.
- We talked about this whole thing in the way of "you know, how would you react if a guy would escort you home, or really what type of guys do you like ?" I described myself to her, and she sad in a couple of months she could start a relationship with that guy :)

What's your opinion ? I can't tell her about my feelings; if I would, she said he would decline that guy for some reason... soon, in two weeks, I have my birthday party... she means a lot to me, if she wants time and hard work I'll do it, just please answer me just one thing: what should I do now, or on my birthday ? :)

Just talk to this girl. You know her well enough by now that it's not going to be a shock, and perhaps she doesn't feel the same way, but I think you owe it to yourself, and to her, to be honest about what you feel.

Personally, I would not do this on your birthday. That's a day where there will be a lot of distractions. Pick an ordinary day when there is no pressure.

Hey there :)

Thanks for a quick tip and for reading trough my personal problems, but I've forgot to say that she:
1, had a real heartbrake with her last boyfriend
2, I've told her my feelings one year ago, but she said she can't just fall in love with a guy just-in-a-second, she needs a bit of time and no quick runs to start a relationship in a guy she trusts :)

Sum: she want to trust in a guy (because the last one said her he loved her, and cheated her a lot... )
I think it's not the best idea, but you're right, I can't use my birthday for that :)

Any tips for what should I do now to win this "game" of ours, or what she wants now ?

Jack, it sounds to me like you two have a really good friendship at the moment and that you two also have a lot of fun together. Sometimes a girl just wants a friend and other times she wants a relationship. Regardless if she sees you as a friend or as a potential relationship her answer seem to indicate that she is not ready for a relationship. So you can do a couple of things. I agree with Eileen in that if you like her and would like to be more than a friend to her you should tell her and be honest about your feelings, but I do not see why you should do so now when she just told that she is not ready for a commitment like that. This is what I think you should do. Just be friends with her since that is essentially what she is expecting you to be right now and don't worry so much about being her boyfriend or rushing the next step. As you said, she just got her heart broken and for girls they can't have a relationship until they feel they are completely ready for the next one. I don't know this girl, only you do, and I expect that after a year you know her pretty well, but you can always HINT at wanting to be more than friends. I would not tell her about how you are feeling right now because most likely, considering that she decided to apart herself from you last time you touched this subject, be rejected. In this situation, you can either risk the friendship by asking her now, or you can wait till a more appropriate time arrives. So, for now, just keep her as your friend and invite her to your birthday party, and hopefully overtime she will start noticing what a great guy you are and when she is ready for a relationship you will be able to tell, and maybe even be confident enough to ask her to be exclusive with you.

Good Luck,

Javi

Thanks mmresd, I think it is the best way to her heart is to keep her as a friend :)

Anyway, it's an interesting thing that last time when we spoke about each other she told me that "i think you are a great friend and something that I can't describe, between a friend and something". I think she is a little bit likes me as a potentional boyfriend, but I'll have to work my way past in her "gates".

P.S.: She also told me two times that she don't want a boyfriend at the first three meetings, and later in the 3th meeting this month she just said "i think i could change my mind in case of a good friend or someone who i can trust in". I also asked about the "i don't want a boyfriend" thing that maybe this was a test to filter some guys who don't want to play trough the game, and she replied me a yes with an interesting smile :)

Girls love to play games :)