I have been married to my Husband for 16 years, In these years he has been very jealous. I worked with all men for 15 years, my husband worked there also. If he saw me talking to one of the men, he would think the guy was hitting on me. Which he wasn't. If the bed had a wrinkle on it he would think some guy was over. I have never seen any other guy while I was with my husband. And I never will. Now I am a stay at home wife which has been great until he said the toilet seat was up when he got home, so he thinks I have some guy over while he is at work. The toilet seat would only be up if he put it there, but he says he didn't and will not believe me. This has happened twice now in two months! The last time it happened I was at my Moms and Sisters for the day helping them with some projects around there house, I was gone almost as long as he was, but he thinks some how I must have had someone over. I am a good wife. I am home most of the time, doing all the yard work,painting,cleaning almost everything so when he gets home he doesn't have to do anything. But he still doesn't spend much time with me when he does get home. Half of the time he has had to many beers.We do have some good times, and its not always like this, but when it is its aweful. Is there any saving this marriage? P.S. I already asked if he would go to counseling, he said no.

You've put up with this for 16 years? I can tell you that the moment I'd be accused of having an affair because there was a wrinkle in the sheet, or the toilet seat was up, would usher in a new way of doing things. The sheets would be wrinkled every day, the toilet seat would be up all the time, I'd put a few cigars here and there, and splash men's cologne on the seats of the car. I'd leave two plates on the table, with one half eaten sandwich, and carefully place some props, like thongs, condom packets, wine glasses, and a few empty bottles on the night stand. Then I would send myself flowers, from anonymous.

The next day, I'd leave brochures for Hawaii near the phone, and directions to the nearest Sleeze-are-us Hotel. Include the room number, and make it the honeymoon suite. 'Accidentally' leave an email to your 'lover' up on your computer screen, telling him that while you are angry he gave you an STD, you forgive him because you realize 12" is very, very rare.

The next day, if your husband hasn't jumped off a cliff and shot himself on the way down, I'd get all dolled up. Hair, makeup, jewellery, high heels, and a little black dress, complete with fishnets and don't forget to put fake hickey's on your neck, arms, and legs. Maybe walk with a bit of a limp for added effect. Have a girlfriend ring your phone ever five minutes for an hour, and talk in hushed tones. Throw a few boxes of Kraft Dinner on the counter for his dinner, and tell him you were too 'tied up' to cut the grass today. Ask him if you should ask the boss if it would be appropriate to re-paint the male bathroom walls because your name and phone number is all over the place in there.

I hope that, because you have not said his jealousy has led to physical or emotional aggression, and for the most part, the marriage is on solid ground, what I suspect he is really doing, is showing you that he is a little bit insecure. Why? Because he likely has a self esteem problem, and thinks less of himself, and more of you. Why would you want him in other words. He compares himself to other men and maybe thinks they are younger, smarter, quicker, better at their jobs, have more toys, better cars etc. It is all the wrong reasons, but, I would give him the benefit of the doubt that his jealousy, is really about himself, and not you.

I love the post Jake!! ---only thing I would add is, I would use some red nail polish and paint "dont forget to put lid down so he doesnt notice" directly on bottom of toilet lid so husband will see.

Quite being a wimp, and put this jerk in his place. When he sees a lid up, he is supposed to put it down, with no lip. That's what my wife told me. And get in the mirror everyday, and practice "the look" to be used anytime he opens his mouth. The most feared weapon in a female arsenal. Shut up the most evil men who come home with too much liquid courage. Has he ever slept on the porch? That's the solution for a wrinkled bed syndrome.

Get my drift? You allow bad, or stupid behavior, you are assured of getting more.