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demonchild6763
Oct 21, 2010, 10:47 PM
I just have to start by saying I'm a 16 year old who's currentley juggling two jobs, and school with no driving permit and no car. I have to rely on my parents to give me rides, but have to pay them gas money. I just started my second job recentley and that's when I met the most! AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, SMART, FUNNY, COOL, ENTERTAINING, INTERESTING, SMART < all understatements to HER PERFECTNESS. She is 19 and currentley attending her first year of a college course. I know a three to four year gap is big, but that doesn't even matter. I hate the job but I stay there just because of HER. I never thought I new what love was, and I thought that the only feeling inside me was anger, but she made me realize the greater things in life. I stated that, "Love is more than jess wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone, its wanting them to be happy even if its not with you" She is currentley dating another guy, who she really seems to love, but he's really controlling and won't even allow her to get a tattoo which is a true freedom of expression of oneself. She told my sister who also works at my second job that she doesn't have the nerve to leave her boyfriend for me. I don't know if its because of the circumstances or what. But all I do is think about her, and we both have so much fun at work together. I would throw it all away if it meant I could make her happy. I am currentley on my way in getting a certificate, as a certified electrician, through a vocational tech school, which iplan on using to get into a local railroad that pays really well and I have this year and next to finish which means ill be done one year before SHE gets done with her course which I hope will give me enough time to make a comfortable place for HER so we can spend the rest of our lives together. She's told me how unfair her boyfriend is, but she won't leave him. Not that this isn't complicated enough, I also have a mild case of a vitamin D defficiency which has made my life a living hell both physically and mentally and WE both want to have kids some day, but if so ill pass my traits down to them and I don't want them to suffer like I have since ill feel bad for them. I Love her I leaver her messages and even drew her a tattoo idea, which I keep telling her she should go get. We both flirt around a lot, but we both know things will be way to complicated for us and I jess don't know what to do. I love her so much I'm afraid to show her hoe much I love her because I'm afraid ill hurt her. Someone have any advice?

J_9
Oct 21, 2010, 11:24 PM
The best advice any of us would give you right now is to not make someone your EVERYTHING. First of all, she's already taken. She's completely off limits to you.

Secondly, it takes time to fall in love. Love doesn't happen immediately. What you are experiencing right now is called infatuation.

Slow down dude, you are really going too fast with this. You will be the one who is hurt if you don't back off a little.

talaniman
Oct 22, 2010, 08:31 AM
You are getting carried away by your own intense feelings, but I doubt she feels the same about you as you do her, and may never feel as strongly as you do. Better slow down, and deal with facts, and reality, as those fantasies, and feelings you have mean nothing to any one, but YOU.

The biggest fact you need to face, she has a boyfriend who is on her level, and you are NOT, and won't be for a few years, even though she is friendly and open, she has a love she is with, (no matter what she says to you, a younger co worker) and you better be in control before you start making foolish immature mistakes, because you read the cards wrong.

Its not all your fault for having strong feelings, but its what you do about it that counts, and falling in love with another guys girlfriend, leads to disaster. Think you have a chance for romance is utterly ridiculous at this time, and planning your life around her is a bad mistake, partner. You only hurt yourself in the long run when you act on feelings when the facts are so clear, and right in front of your face. You better deal with the facts, and be in control of the feelings, because you can't control hers for sure.

You have feelings but lack maturity to handle them, and I understand, females have a strong affect on a guy, I get that, but don't let those feelings make you foolish.

demonchild6763
Oct 22, 2010, 09:12 AM
Thank you for your help, the only reason I guess I still have faith, because she is the only person I've ever meant who I don't have to feel completely nervous around because she's so open and such a free spirit. She's not afraid of people judging her, not that there's anything to judge her about. She seems like she's trying to tell me she's not happy in her relationship with her boyfriend as she's has confronted me about before and I've told her that, You are important and need to be able to freely express yourself because that's who you are. She's seems interested, but she can be a little bit flirty, so I can see where your saying I can be reading the cards wrong, but she shows me the body language andsays things like she likes me. She's asked me questions like if I want to have kids someday, and asking questions of certain situations if we were together and I answer them truthfully as like id said id rather her be happy then with me unhappy.

mmresd
Oct 22, 2010, 11:02 AM
Dude, me and you are three years apart... I am only 19. I just got out of a relationship with a woman that is 36 years old and whose situation I posted on this website and was amazingly answered by the same people that are offering you advice. Let me thank you for posting this because you have made me realize how different ways of thinking can be and how they can change in just three years.

Man, it is clearly visible that you are very inexperienced in dating overall and specially in being in relationship. Let me make sure that you know that there is nothing wrong with that considering that not just you, but also me are very young and are still learning the ropes of how females work and how relationship (not just sexual or emotional) work. After you pick up some experience in life with this type of situation you will look back at this and laugh your *** off (pardon my french). As said by one of the people that commented on your post you are in fact infatuated with this girl and when that happens her looking at you can mean that she wants you to be her boyfriend. Let me tell you though that the reality of this case is not that. As your seen by a very experience and reputable advisor on this community you have to take a step back, SLOW DOWN, and take a look at what is happening here. In the future you will met other girls, maybe even better girls, that you also will not have a problem being comfortable and being yourself around. Feel like a friend (not someone who she wants to have an emotional relationship with) when she talks to you about her relationship with someone who she is in love with. Something else to keep in mind is that some girls are just naturally flirty so don't confuse it with her liking you as anything more than a friend. And if she is asking you personal questions it might just be because she wants a friendship with you especially if you are her coworker because now she doesn't have to be bored at work by having someone to talk to. It might also be just because she is a curious girl and wants to get to know you as any friend would.

Please do not drown yourself in a glass of water as you are doing here.
Most importantly of all, she is taken, and if you are looking for advise on how to "take her away" please visit a PUA (pick-up artist) community that offers a technique called BFD (Boyfriend Destroyer) because the people in this community do not appreciate someone asking for help on how to take another man's lady since the focus of this community is how to enhance your love live, not how to destroy another one.

Good Luck,

Javi

demonchild6763
Oct 22, 2010, 12:05 PM
Thanks for all your views and answers, thank you for helping me see the bigger picture. Like I said ill be satisfied as log as she's happy even if its not with me, and shell always be a good friend. Ill enjoy every moment just because we get along so well. I hope her boyfriend lets her live freely like she deserves and she's happy in everything she does.

demonchild6763
Nov 2, 2010, 09:14 AM
LOL amazingly she came to me and said, "If I didn't have a boyfriend id have asked you out already" which made me happy, showing that she does have intreset in me.