First of all, I'm a 17 year old college student and this girl is in the same college with me and is also 17. We've known each other for almost 5 months now and we got into a "friends" stage just recently. The problem here is we already got so attached to other on our first term(it's now our 2nd term) because we hit it right so fast. But most probably our relationship affected our studies since we both failed some subjects(one for her, two for me). It's really weird that we are now on this "friends/best friends" situation since we got so intimate with each other the last term. Saying "I love you's" and cheesy stuffs like that. She also mentioned that sooner or later we'll be 'official'. But that was the first term. Now, A WHOLE LOT changed. We had talks recently and now she decided that she just wants to be friends RIGHT NOW. Key word is "RIGHT NOW" but she also said to "Try and find other girls.... just try, please :( I'm just gonna hurt you if we grow together :((" but she contradicts what she says whenever I ask if it's over. She'll just say "I never said there's no chance anymore".She also got teared up on one of our talks that made me more confused. I'm not giving up though because I still feel there's a chance. What I feel that is bothering her is her studies, recent events and most of all her parents probably. Recent events include getting drunk and making out with a guy which she told me and said she didn't remember anything only her friends told her. I believe her though and I don't have the right to confront the guy since I'm not yet 'in a relationship' with the girl and she also told me not to and I promised not to. I'm going to wait 'til she clears up everything in her mind and probably that will be on the next term break(2-3 months from now) and since we still see each other once a week(she says it's still okay to do this... we used to see each other almost everyday on the first term) I think I will sense signals if she wants me still or not. But so far I we still talk and stuff but not as sweet as before. My questions are is it right to wait? And did she do this to slowly let me go or just wants to know me better?

Thanks.

Sorry if it's not clear... I got a lot of things jumbled inside my mind. So please ask if you want more info about my status right now because I really really need some advice. Anyway the bottomline is she's always giving me mixed signals. Really hard to read her crazy mind :)) haha

You are a young guy who needs to focus on his future, and not the wild ride of the emotions of a young female. So far you have gone along with her program, her rules and what she wants. At some point you have to man up, and make your own decisions and rules that work for you.

She is partying and having a good time enjoying her freedom and you are sitting trying to get close and stay closer. That ain't going to work. Buckle down and get your grades in order and find some time for doing your own thing and stop wasting your time trying to figure out the "signals of attraction" from a female that clearly sees friends, but not romance and has told you too your face to chase other females.

That's not a mixed signal, but a very clear one, that your signal receiver is broken, and you need a better plan that doesn't include her, because she can't save you if you flunk college, and can't qualify for a job, nor will she entertain and support you when she finds a guy for romance and fun and has little time for her friends, especially YOU!!

Get your head on straight, and your priorities in order.

Good advice Talaniman!

The best way to drive someone away is to ask stuff like 'is it over.' That's passive and fatalistic. You DO need to spend time with others at your age, especially in college, and not flunk out either. You don't need to be 40 and still flipping burgers and have no one to love and old loves are long forgotten. Get practical.
As for mixed signals, that's very common. She likes you but doesn't feel the same kind of commitment you feel and it makes her uncomfortable. So you have to force yourself to act friendly, no strings attached, until the hurt is gone. She may drift back to you, she may not.

Comment on talaniman's post
True. I'm really studying super hard this term but I'm not chasing other girls because I choose not to. I'm going to pass all my subjects this term.

Comment on joypulv's post
Yeah, man. That's very true and I guess I have to "go with the flow" right now. I'll just have to be patient and just accept anything that will happen in the future. For the mean time I'll just be studying super hard.

Thanks, Guys. I hope more advice will be given.

She is young and in College. She isn't ready to settle down, she wants to see what's out there. I wouldn't pressure her. Nor would I sit around wasting my college days waiting for her. She is out looking, why don't you do the same.

I'm not going to wait for her for the whole stay in college. I'm just going to give time for me now and when everything in my head is clear I'm going to decide to call it quits or not. Right now I'm just going to study.

Studying is great, but don't forget to get out and have some fun with friends.