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View Full Version : What's wrong with marrying young?


Cupcake01
Oct 19, 2010, 10:17 AM
I currently have a boyfriend. He'll be going on 20 and I'll be going on 18 . Just a year and ten months apart. We've become extremely serious. Not just a few months type thing. Rather, we'll be celebrating our 1 year anniversary in about 2 weeks. We've met family on both sides, and his side loves me and my side loves him. Also, our friends approve, which is also very important. Along, the way there have been people who said we should wait, which we are. I'm not saying we're going to get married tomorrow or anything, but maybe when I'm 20 and he's 22. But, of course that's still young to some. It was never my intention to fall for anyone this young. I didn't try on purpose, it just happened. And I believe it is so true when people say it's hard to find someone good so when you do, then don't let them go. Young and in love <3 Why be so skeptic? There are some young marriages that fail, but then there's a lot that succeed!

Enigma1999
Oct 19, 2010, 10:26 AM
To me, I think you should wait until you two are done with college and start your careers.

I don't think that it is wrong that you two are young and in love, however, you ARE still considered a minor. You're 17 years old. It's not illegal to date, but engaging in sexual activities is. So, I guess it's a good thing that your parent s are OK with this.

That's another story though.

If you two are in love like you say you are, then there is no rush to get married.

Formulate some kind of a plan first. Now, don't get me wrong, not everything and everyone had a plan when they got married, but it would be nice for you two to finish college and save your money.

Then live together for a while and make sure you two are compatible like that.

Then after a some odd years, sure, why not.

Cupcake01
Oct 19, 2010, 10:51 AM
Thanks Enigma1999! I found your advice VERY helpful. That's what I had in mind too, I want to at least finish college, but I should be done around 21 because I'm going for it straight out of high school. But even still to a lot, early twenties is too young? :/ But you're right, there is no rush. I think the only thing I fear is having a long-term relationship with no progress, so to speak. But, I realize I do have plenty of time too, so thanks I'll definitely consider your advice! :)

peaches87
Oct 19, 2010, 10:53 AM
I got married @20. Going 2 years strong now.if you love each other don't let that go!so what if your young, so was I,still am,but my hubby is the best thing that has ever happened to me:)go with your heart, that's what I did.

Enigma1999
Oct 19, 2010, 11:05 AM
i got married @20. going 2 years strong now.if you love each other dont let that go!so what if your young, so was i,still am,but my hubby is the best thing that has ever happend to me:)go with your heart, thats what i did.

That's good for you...

She has a chance though to live at home FOR FREE and go to college. So does he. They have a good chance to save money and get their careers on track so that they can build a good foundation.

So then that way, when they do finish college, they can start their careers and have money to buy a house.

Peaches, I don't know your situation, but there are a lot of people who get married young and don't finish college and live in apartments and have dead end jobs and are struggling with money.

Why? So they could rush to be happy.

OP is happy. She is in a solid relationship with this guy and it sounds like she has her head on straight.

I just want to see her have a successful marriage in the future without all of the stress of strugging.

I bet her parents feel the same way too.

talaniman
Oct 19, 2010, 11:55 AM
Just because your young and happy in love doesn't mean you have to gamble the house away jumping into a deep and heavy commitment. If you take your time and enjoy it, there is plenty of time to see if its as solid as you think, and a few years of learning and growing will let you know if its as real as you think.

Sure a lot of young lovers get married, and have long fulfilling happy lives, but most don't and that's a fact. All because they leaped without looking and THINKING, AND PLANNING.

If its worth doing, do it right because in reality it's the bad hard times that define a couple, not the good times or great sex. Start talking to each other and listening, and never stop, just get better at it. Then you know you have something to build on, and worth working with.

Cupcake01
Oct 19, 2010, 12:10 PM
Yes, communication is everything and I believe me and him have that now. But you're right we will take time and nooooo I would never be with anyone just for the good or the sex because that SO fades away I know. Thanks for the advice =)