I was with my ex boyfriend for over 3 years! We broke up because we argued a lot and I has suspicions that he cheated on me. He treated me so bad but I still loved him and was always willing to make us work but he never seemed to put in the effort so I gave up. We hadn't broke up two weeks and he was in a relationship with another girl.he lied to me about it so I cut contact with him. We didn't speak for about four months until he contacted me one night and we became just friends again.he had previously finished the relationship with the other girl but started seeing some one else now.I also started seeing someone else too. A couple of weeks later he text me saying that he had made the biggest mistake of his life letting me go that he realised what he had done and promised me that he had changed and would never treat me like that again.I told him no that I was with someone else now and that he was too but he said that he didn't love her that it was me he loved.a week later they broke up. I continued being friends with him and we meet every now and again for a chat and I have realised that I still love him too. He is still asking me to get back with him but is it a bad idea to get back with an ex and risk the relationship that I am in now?

Yes it is a very bad idea.

This person is a player. Can not have his cake and eat it too. He was stringing you along and now your falling for his boo hoo he made a mistake.

Well you have a boyfriend now, you go with him things get rough and if things did not really change you will be getting the crappy end of the stick AGAIN.

EX is and Ex for a reason. Stay clear from this person.

Thank you for your advice. Is it even a bad idea to stay friends with him or should I totally cut contact? I was really happy with my current boyfriend until we started meeting up and he started asking me back

If you want your relationship with your current boyfriend to grow and survive.

My personal advice to you is to cut off contact completely or it will just ruin it. Eventually.

You yourself said you were happy until he started coming into the picture again.

I completely agree with JH. You will never be happy letting this cheater keep his foot in the door, and distracting you from what should be your real priorities. Plus you are not being fair to the new guy, and your behavior is very close to cheating, which is strange for a person who knows first hand how bad that feels. Do the right thing for yourself and leave him alone and find happiness in better options and opportunities.

You just can't be friends with a guy that you know he wants more than friendship from you. Especially if he was an ex that has cheated before. His so called love didn't stop him from cheating before, nor did your love for him keep you from being his fool.

Don't go there again.

Life is short , don't spent your life crying mourning the love you thought you had lost ,move on be strong be happy in life, share this precious life with your new man just let go other wise you will get hurt .

I recently just split from my boyfriend! We had been arguing a bit so we decided to call it a day to avoid any more drama! We ended on good terms and decided to be friends! The only problem is I still really care for him and miss him a lot and I'm afraid of the day I hear he is with someone else.should I cut contact? Its going to hurt me either way! If I stay in contact with him its going to hurt becausem ill always want to be more than friends with him and eventually he's going to meet someone else and its going to hurt if I go no contact too because I'm going to really miss him and always care about him!I really don't know which is the best route to go!

I would go with your first instinct of "NO Contact". I know it's hard, but it does really help in the long run. Good luck

No contact all the way.

When the relationship is over do yourselves a favour and disappear from each others life.

Hard as it is now to imagine you will get over this and new adventures,people and loves will come into your life.

Hanging on to the past won't change it,mulling over the relationship while helpful to figure your part in the breakup and learning from it should be short term, moving on should be high on your agenda for the new year.

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I have gone no contact and I am finding it really hard dealing with this break up. I just feel so alone!what can I do to help me get over this quickly?

I know everyone says it but only time can mend a broken heart. I had a bad break up a few years ago and I lost everything, and I mean everything. My house my job etc, I moped around for a few days feeling sorry for myself then one morning I just woke up and decided that no-one else could change anything in my life other than me so I dusted myself off, vowed never to let anyone hurt me again and got stronger each day :-) 3 years later, I have a new house, a new job, wonderful children and Im getting married to Mr Right in August this year! I never would have believed it, but if I can do it so can you! Hope this helps anyway and hope your OK :-) <<<hugs>>> xxxx

Thank you for your advice but I don't even know where to start getting my life back on track! I have my phone off for the last 2 days and cannot find the strength to get out of bed!

Have you read the stickies (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/)? Then you will know that you are not alone and many of us have been through this same thing.