View Full Version : Men problems
Tvaughn29
Oct 18, 2010, 08:01 PM
I have been in this relationship for 7 months and for the last couple months he's been distant and we haven't had sex for over a month,he claims its not me its him... I am always wrong or being a baby,I just want affection and for my boyfriend to want to have sex with me.. Plus he's always texting his ex-an he lies about it, and says I'm being parinoid! What should I do? Help.
talaniman
Oct 18, 2010, 08:34 PM
I would say the lust is over, and you figure out what's left, and is he worth it.
Tvaughn29
Oct 19, 2010, 09:00 AM
Its not just the lust thing.. he says he loves me but then behind my back is texting his ex ,and he just seems distant,I can barely get a kiss.
Devorameira
Oct 19, 2010, 09:05 AM
He may just be telling you what you want to hear. IF he's still texting the ex, then I'd think that the relationship is still not over.
If he won't even give you a kiss, then you need to take the initiative and break it off with him. You deserve someone who really loves you and who respects you enough to not text the ex.
answerme_tender
Oct 19, 2010, 09:30 AM
I have a feeling you are his "Rebound relationship" from his ex. He obviously is still into his ex-girlfriend. You are nothing more then his fall back option, if his ex-girlfriend and him don't get back together at this point.
Move on and find someone who isn't busy texting another girl. Who wants to show you attention and affection without being told too.
Tvaughn29
Oct 19, 2010, 12:25 PM
Its weird cause we talk about kids and getting married,I've been married twice and they were both abusive and they both cheated on me,I'm older then my boyfriend now -he was all into me for the first three months then he blames me and says its my fault,he told me if he didn't want to be with me he would tell me.. I don't even feel attractive to him or anything he thinks sex isn't important-Im like no its not everything but you go from having sex with me and all to nothing for the last month,we went out the other night and I caught him txting her,he's like don't be parinoid,I was like whatever,he tells her he misses her and her daughter,he has pics of her on his myspace,none of me,I made the comment I would friend request her on myspace and he said I'd be acting stupid for doing that... I moved here to Colorado Springs for a job,he's with me now but he want to go back to his grandmoms in Olathe till winter is over,that's 300 miles away,he says I can trust him.. I'm like you right... I want to scream..
talaniman
Oct 19, 2010, 12:36 PM
Talk is cheap. And easy to do, but actions are what tells the story. Let him move. And say good bye, and get a real man, why don't you??
Better yet be single, and free until you can pick better companionship.
Tvaughn29
Oct 19, 2010, 12:46 PM
I think I'm scared of being alone,But I know I have to let go he'll never change.. plus I'm trying to work on me and fix my own insecurity's,I have just never had a good man in my life except my dad and grandfather,All I want is to be loved .
answerme_tender
Oct 19, 2010, 12:47 PM
Tell him you agree 100 percent that he should go back to grandma, maybe she can finish raising him! I wouldn't argue, beg,raise my voice, just act real calm. Stick to your guns on this, you don't want someone who obviously doesn't want you.
Enough with him, in reading your post in requards to being in two privious marriages that involved abuse. You need to take the time and get your life together for yourself and your children. If you have never gotten any counceling, you might want to. Its never easy to come out of that type of relationship not having something inside of us broken. Counceling helps the healing, and also helps us from sometimes getting into a relationship that isn't healthy just because we seek verification that we also deserve love. Good luck
Tvaughn29
Oct 20, 2010, 07:42 PM
He says he wants to have sex but he has to please himslef before we do it.. What the hell?
talaniman
Oct 20, 2010, 08:18 PM
Do you really needs this freaky deaky dude? I thought you wanted a good man? Is he it.
Tvaughn29
Oct 21, 2010, 08:35 AM
No I don't,its funny cause every time I have dreams about him we r always fighting and he is cheating on me.. I do want a good man,someone who knows what they want ,and can love me for me,and is affectionate,etc.. Sometimes I feel like Ill never find that,and that no one will want me or could love me.. my past relationships that's all I ever heard was how Ill never find anyone better,etc.. then Id get my *** kicked..
talaniman
Oct 21, 2010, 08:53 AM
I guess it could be your choice in men, or how you look for them, or they have what appears to be what you want, I don't know, maybe all of the above.
I think its more your fear of being alone, which makes you maybe impatient, or have unrealistic expectations for what looks good at first glance.
Talaniman Rule-When you stop looking for love, and do your thing, and enjoy ALL YOUR OPTIONS, AND OPPORTUNITIES, love will find you.
Talaniman Rule-Build a life that you enjoy without a mate and your happiness will attract people who will want to share in it with you.
Talaniman Rule-Never put all your eggs in a stranger’s basket. Save some for your own basket.
Talaniman Rule-if they don't like you, forget 'em.
Talaniman Rule- Give yourself 6 months of dating and getting to know someone, before you decide together to be DATING EXCLUSIVELY, and having fun getting to know each other.
Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, that’s just plain crazy.
Don't hold onto false hope when a guys actions, and words don't match. So don't be in a hurry.
Too much, too fast, crash and burn.
answerme_tender
Oct 21, 2010, 09:05 AM
So what have YOU done to improve the quality of life not only for you but for your children? Sounds like your still with Mr. Loser, who likes to text his ex-girlfriend and still wants to live with Grandma. Oh and is such a giving man, that will force himself to have sex with you, but not till HE has satisfied HIMSELF!
Boy, He must just be exhausted by having to beat off the line of woman that want him!!
Kick his worthless backside to the curb. Move on with your life. You need to really get some counceling to help you work out those past experiences, to build confidence in yourself, but most importantly help you to stop falling for same kind of losers.
Why not try going back to school, that would help your confidence and most importantly your families FUTURE! Your children are not going to stay young forever, and will start resenting you for allowing these men coming in and out of their lives.
Just another thought, to help yourself and others, why not volunteer at your local woman's shelter. You have a lot to offer,don't throw it away on people who don't appreciate what you have to give. Good luck
Tvaughn29
Oct 21, 2010, 12:49 PM
I don't have any children... I want to wait a little longer-not that Im getting younger.. lol.. Id like to adopt someday.. when I was 20 I had cervical Cancer,and since then Ive had nothing but miscarriges,which I guess were a blessing in disguse... the job I work at provides further schooling,id like to continue in the healthcare,I want to be a doctor-Putting people to sleep before surgery.. :) Im also interested in Vet Tech,But money Is the big problem..
When I meant Anothony I met him at the bar-I know not a great place to be meeting anyone.. Since March 19th we've been dating.he s always lived with his grandmom and grandpa-and doesn't work and he doesn't have a drivers lisence-and doesn't want one.. I told him today I can't wai till he goes back.. Im sick of him nit picking me and what he says goes! I didn't think that's how relationships go-Dont touch me till I say its OK! OMG! What is wrong with him? Doesn't he know a good thing when its right in front of him?I guess not ,oh and he always thinks he's fat-thats another reason why we haven't had sex.
answerme_tender
Oct 21, 2010, 01:02 PM
Well maybe if he got off his lazy backside and got a JOB, he would be in better SHAPE! You said he likes to satisfy himself so, he must have aleast one good arm. Maybe he could flip burgers.
Check into financial aide and continue with your plans for career in healthcare. Good luck
Tvaughn29
Oct 21, 2010, 01:09 PM
Hes to good for MacDonalds.. lol