View Full Version : Is absence of sex the reason for me being bored?
manikarnika
Oct 18, 2010, 10:09 AM
: "hi, i am a 21 yr old girl from india . the culture hear prohibits sex before marriage . there is this guy with whom i'v gone out like 3 times in 4yrs , we'v never even kissed . i talk to him on the phone everyday . he is caring ,sweet mr.perfect , but i find whatever he talks to me for the past 6months totally boring and irritating . i cannot tell him since he's so in love with me . is this because there is no sex in our life ? if so i can hope it gets better after marriage. or are we not compatible ?"maybe I'm a person who gets bored easily ? What do I do?
Enigma1999
Oct 18, 2010, 10:15 AM
Perhaps he IS just boring to you.
You don't have to have sex in order to have things in common.
In the past, I dated men that there was no sex involved, who I found to be quite interesting and comical.
I just think that perhaps you two don't have much in common and you are losing interest.
Is this someone that you will have to marry?
manikarnika
Oct 18, 2010, 10:24 AM
Not exactly I don't want to be a person who keeps on changing guys.
Enigma1999
Oct 18, 2010, 10:31 AM
Well you are 21...
You are still very young. Some times you have to date a few men to find the right one.
Don't settle for anything less.
If this guy isn't doing it for you (stimulating your mind) then why settle for that.
Don't you feel as if you deserve to be happy and have the best?
answerme_tender
Oct 18, 2010, 10:38 AM
Why would you want to have sexual relations with a man, that not only bores, but also irritates you. You have only gone out with him 3 times in 4 years, yet your worried about being thought as changing guys.
I agree with Enigma, you need to get out and date some other men, don't lose out on the right guy because your worried what others might think.
manikarnika
Oct 18, 2010, 11:03 AM
How do I tell him without hurting him much ? That is the most difficult part to me
Enigma1999
Oct 18, 2010, 11:07 AM
To be quite honest, any way that you tell him, it won't really sit well with him.
I would just be honest with him. By telling him how sweet and caring he is, but you're just not interested in him like that.
He does need to know the truth, so he too can move on and find someone that he can grow with.
talaniman
Oct 18, 2010, 01:04 PM
I would be very bored if all I had was 3 dates in 4 years. Just be honest, and tell him your feelings have changed, and you need to break up, or tell him to take you out more. A whole lot more. He has a lot to make up for.
You don't need sex to have fun, just be a fun person.
slapshot_oi
Oct 18, 2010, 01:08 PM
Of course your bored you never see this guy.
Just tell him how you feel, and don't sugar-coat it because like Enigma said, it's going to hurt him regardless. The very least you could do is give him an honest reason.