2 questions..

Do I call her to casually talk or call her to ask her to meet up?

At some point I will have to let her know my intentions and I'm not pursuing a friendship. How do I let her know my intentions without making it sound like I'm trying to win her back?

She'll know your intentions if you just don't contact her at all.

Why do you feel like you need to let her know anything? It's over, so move on and forget about it.

The answer to both questions is to leave her alone! Why open old wounds?

Kyle

Answers:

#1. NO.

#2. NO. You have stated that you haven't had contact 3.5 months. You want to make sure she understands that you don't want any friendship, oh and you don't want her to think you are trying to win her back.
Going through a break up is heart breaking and you just testing the waters to see if you can still hook her is just cruel. If you really want to do her a favor, just leave her alone to move on with her life.
If you ever cared for this woman, then do her one favor that she may never know about, but will benefit the most from, just go on with your life and leave her alone.

Maybe I wasn't clear as the last person definitely missunderstood what I was intending to say. She broke up with me. I haven't talked to her in 3.5 months. My emotions have moved on to where I am completely rational in my decisions and I want a second chance because I have never met anyone like her. I don't know how to go about seeing her again. I can't just ask for a second chance because I don't think she will be open to that initially.

Well, at least you are honest to yourself, she probably won't be "open to that." In fact, pretty much everywhere in the world, breaking up with someone means "I don't want you in my life" and she broke up with you.

You had 3,5 months to heal and move on. Seriously, it's not like it's been 2 weeks. 105 days later, you are at day 1... So no, I don't think you are "completely rational in your decisions."

How about not asking for a second chance and starting over with someone new instead of dealing with an old relationship?

Kyle

Answers:

#1. NO

#2. NO ---she has moved on, and if she is that one who broke off the relationship, then had enough respect for you NOT to contact you and give you hope.
You have already basically answered your question in your last sentence in your 2nd post.
' I can't just ask for a second chance because I don't think she will be open to that initially.'
If she isn't going to open to getting back together why would you even put yourself through the heart break and disappointment?

Contacted her. She said glad I contacted her and that she was wondering how I've been. Thanks for the excellent advice everyone. Were going out Thursday.

Look forward to the post Friday.

Sent her a follow up text and received an ":)" text reply.

Who's running this site?

sent her a follow up text and received an ":)" text reply.

whos running this site?



Kyle Kyle Kyle...

Well hey, I really wish you the best of luck.

If you think that this ":)" means, hey we are getting back together, well then in your situation I hope it's true.

Good luck and keep us posted.

she's easy to figure out. She is building her own confidence by using you and having you around. Don't listen to her, watch her actions. Easiest way to hook her is to turn the tables. Don't go out with your tail between your legs by going nc. Hook up with her, then let her know that there is another girl heavily pursuing you, then tell her that you've decided to leave her for this other girl because you don't settle for someone unsure of their level of commitment.

The key to understand is that you've already lost her. You can fight for her which will only push her away. You can go nc which will just end things. Or you can turn the tables on her and still have a shot with her chasing after you! Your choice.

So would one take this on how you're going to 'win' back your girl?

My... you're quite a catch.

(as posted here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/girlfriend-wanted-space-6-weeks-ago-we-meeting-dinner-saturday-450599-3.html)

so would one take this on how you're going to 'win' back your girl?

my ... you're quite a catch.

(as posted here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/girlfriend-wanted-space-6-weeks-ago-we-meeting-dinner-saturday-450599-3.html)

Ahhh wow mystific, you sure do your research. Lol

Lol.. just a very quiet day :)

What's with all the negative nancys? This isn't tellmehowemptymycupis.com.

You came here for advice. Based on our past experiences, we gave you what we honestly believe will make you a happier better person in THE LONG RUN. But, it is a free country and you're allowed to do whatever you please. I wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted.

sent her a follow up text and received an ":)" text reply.

whos running this site?

Well obviously the :) has sealed the deal. She obviously can't stay away from you.

Must be your charming personality that did it.

So she just texted me to say 'forgot. I already have plans Thursday.' what does this mean? How do you forget prior engagements? She didn't suggest a new time to meet. What does this all mean?

so she just texted me to say 'forgot. i already have plans thursday.' what does this mean? how do you forget prior engagements? she didnt suggest a new time to meet. what does this all mean?

Kyle,

This is her way of saying that it's over for her, and that she doesn't want to hang out with you.

I think that you need to move on.

Take this as a learning lesson and roll with it.

What if she really did have prior plans? I will try again for another night.

what if she really did have prior plans? i will try again for another night.

Honestly, if I were you, I would let HER make the move. She knows that you are still interested in her or at least hanging out with her.

The ball is in her court.

The last thing you want to do is present yourself as being desperate or clingy. It's not very becoming, and can be a turn off.

what if she really did have prior plans? i will try again for another night.

Are you honestly that naïve? She doesn't want to be with you. Open your eyes and look at this vicious cycle you're stuck in.

Your stubbornness is a good trait if/when you know how to use it. But in this instance it will keep you stuck.

Your stubbornness is a good trait if/when you know how to use it. but in this instance it will keep you stuck.

Please tell me how to use it. Obviously my stubbornness isn't working for me. How is stubbornness a good trait? Please help. I'm interested in knowing even if it doesn't work in my case.

Go NC with this female no matter what, and find your answers.

If you stubbornly stick to it, you will understand what I am saying.

Go NC with this female no matter what, and find your answers.

If you stubbornly stick to it, you will understand what I am saying.

That's like saying just before you die you will understand the meaning of life. Who cares at that point and if you aren't willing to provide insight you aren't any help. You may not be able to help me and obviously an answer like this isn't any help but you should at least provide insight so others can benefit from this post. The generalized feedback of go nc on everybody doesn't help those of us asking for specifics. If both people go nc then nothing is accomplished other than ruining the possibility of a beautiful thing.

thats like saying just before you die you will understand the meaning of life. who cares at that point and if you arent willing to provide insight you arent any help. you may not be able to help me and obviously an answer like this isnt any help but you should at least provide insight so others can benefit from this post. the generalized feedback of go nc on everybody doesnt help those of us asking for specifics. if both people go nc then nothing is accomplished other than ruining the possibility of a beautiful thing.

In these four months that you two have been separated has she expressed any feelings of wanting to get back with you?

Listen to me carefully. Not only have you been closed minded, but rude to other posters with your condescending stupid advice to others, and we have always been patient.

But your continued attitude will get you banned. Lets be clear, as you want insights to understanding, then open your mind, because you have received a lot of good insights that you have ungraciously ignored.

If you cannot act with the dignity and respect that you want for yourself to be taken seriously, we can treat you like the TROLL you are acting like. Now don't be so stubborn, and maybe you will get some of that insight you are looking for.

Listen to me carefully. Not only have you been closed minded, but rude to other posters with your condescending stupid advice to others, and we have always been patient.

But your continued attitude will get you banned. Lets be clear, as you want insights to understanding, then open your mind, because you have received a lot of good insights that you have ungraciously ignored.

If you cannot act with the dignity and respect that you want for yourself to be taken seriously, we can treat you like the TROLL you are acting like. Now don't be so stubborn, and maybe you will get some of that insight you are looking for.

How do I get you to go nc with me?

how do i get you to go nc with me?

What sort of advice are you looking for? Do you want us to tell you she'll come back one day with open arms begging for your forgiveness? What do you want to hear? Because, obviously, the reality is too good for you.

how do i get you to go nc with me?

Don't be such a negative nancy... :p

Harshness Warning:

And you wonder why she doesn't want you? You have a chip on your shoulder.

Tal has given you good advice. You are either too stubborn or too stupid to realise it.

This girl doesn't want you. Deal with it and move on.

Maybe when you act like a real man you'll be good enough for her. But somehow I doubt it. :cool:

Also Kyle,

I would just like to add that we are trying to help you. You may not like what we have to say, but we are just telling you as an outsider looking in.

I think it is time that I unsubscribe to this thread, and move on to others that need help.

I wish you luck.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/virgin-wants-break-because-we-were-too-physical-471218.html

Its not all the advice, and insights you get, nor from who, its what you do with it. If you have missed something review, and re evaluate the information. At some point you have to honestly review and re evaluate yourself, your actions, and the positions you take. And then make adjustments, and that means doing things you might not want to do, that's for the best.

A good place to start would be NOT to let your hurt and disappointment, turn to anger that makes you lash out, or act out negatively to others.

Stubbornness turns to insanity when you keep doing the same things Repeatedly and expect different results. It didn't work with her before, its not working now, so why keep trying to make it work again? That's what was meant by being stubborn, as opposed to being flexible, and able to make the right adjustments for yourself.

How many times can you run head first into a brick wall before you realize that you can't bust through it with your head?

Originally Posted by KyleS28
That's like saying just before you die you will understand the meaning of life. Who cares at that point and if you aren't willing to provide insight you aren't any help. You may not be able to help me and obviously an answer like this isn't any help but you should at least provide insight so others can benefit from this post. The generalized feedback of go NC on everybody doesn't help those of us asking for specifics. If both people go NC then nothing is accomplished other than ruining the possibility of a beautiful thing.

Not all people are meant to be together, and sometimes it doesn't last. That's a simple fact of life. You don't always get everything you want, when you want it, and that's another fact of life. Another is you cannot control another. Especially if you can barely control yourself. To see, and understand insights and facts, you have to have an open mind, and be paying attention. It's a fact we humans are distracted by our own needs, and feelings, that we fail to do both.


how do I get you to go NC with me?

:cool: :) :D :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Harshness Warning:

You're an idiot.

You're not just stubborn, you're ignorant, rude and obnoxious.

You asked a question and got answered sincerely, openly and honestly from those with experience, whether it be in life or through the literal thousands, of posters like yourself with similar situations.


if both people go nc then nothing is accomplished other than ruining the possibility of a beautiful thing.


She's already going nc with you. She didn't have prior plans she just couldn't be bothered going and if anything it was just a game to her. "lets see how many hoops I can get him to jump through". Oh but wait the :) says otherwise.

You may want to also learn how to take advice whether you like it or not.

I feel a little saddened however, I was waiting for the Friday post on how she didn't turn up. It came a day early.

Harshness Warning:

You're an idiot.

You're not just stubborn, you're ignorant, rude and obnoxious.

You asked a question and got answered sincerely, openly and honestly from those with experience, whether it be in life or through the literal thousands, of posters like yourself with similiar situations.



Shes already going nc with you. She didnt have prior plans she just couldnt be bothered going and if anything it was just a game to her. "lets see how many hoops I can get him to jump through". Oh but wait the :) says otherwise.

You may want to also learn how to take advice whether you like it or not.

I feel a little saddened however, I was waiting for the friday post on how she didnt turn up. It came a day early.

It's a proven fact that all women experience loneliness from one time to another and I want to be there when she feels lonely.

So find another woman who actually wants you.

3.5 months later you're just a rebound.

3.5 months later you're just a rebound.

That's all dennis rodman does and he landed carmen electra.

I forgot to add obstinate to that list above.

Landed her, married her and divorced. Nice comparative.

Go ahead spam/troll the board with inane remarks/comments/replies but the fact remains the same.

it's a proven fact that all women experience loneliness from one time to another and I want to be there when she feels lonely.


that's all Dennis Rodman does and he landed Carmen Electra.

Last lesson, your smart aleck remarks, and your stubborn responses, have helped to degrade a learning experience into a squabble that has resulted in the closing of this thread. All future responses of this kind will result in your posts being deleted, as some have already been. That's what stubbornness brings when just a bit of respect is what's needed.

Lesson over, consequences applied. :)

Oh, and look at Dennis now if he is out of alcohol rehab.