View Full Version : My boyfriend thinks I'm cheating but I believe he is!
cgtmdr
Oct 14, 2010, 04:42 PM
My boyfriend of three years whom I have a seven month old child with constantly accuses me of cheatin and lyin he questions every little move I make lately I've been extremely depressed partailly because of the type of birth control I'm on I'm having it removed to see if my attitude changes. But other than that he would have no reason not to trust me. He constantly doesnat answer the phone when I call. I've called his job to the point where they have threatened to call the cops on me cause he says he's there and he's not. His phone always has a lock on it and he sleeps with it under his pillow. He always know where I am he has the phone number to all three of my jobs every family members phone number as well. He questions when I want to go to the gym to work out,when I put on make up when I've been wearing make up since we've met he liked the why I looked without it so I stopped wearing it. But after my son I wanted to feel pretty againg so I wear a lit. tle eyeliner and a little mascara. He gets mad even when I get off work early and come home. I don't have any friends nor do I go out. I think he's doing something so he's projecting onto me.
Do you think I'm right?
How do I get him to be honest with me?
And what should I do?
DoulaLC
Oct 14, 2010, 05:29 PM
You have to either sit down together (get someone to watch the baby for you if possible) and discuss this to get it sorted out, suggest the option of counseling, or call it quits. There is no way the relationship will be rebuilt if it continues as it is.
Is he stepping out?. perhaps, his actions, especially if sudden, are a red flag. Would he admit it if he were?. not likely.
Do you trust him? If neither of you trusts the other, why stay in the relationship? It is unhealthy for everyone involved, and in time it will effect your child as well.
toffee_apple87
Oct 15, 2010, 02:09 AM
I dontknow about him - but all your basically asking for is a life you've got a baby and obviously everythingis evolving around your seven month old at the mo ,I know this as I am a mother of two, I got scared of the kids completely taking away my life soi started at the gym, and started going to a slimming world session once a week and id go for a couple of glasses of wine at a friends house, of course I got accusedof cheating ijust laughed told him I haven't got time for an affair , after sorting my child out, housework etc if anythingi just wanted time to myself I'm not sure if that's how you are yourself... the only problem with a man if they've got it fixed in there head that your are cheating then you are! So if he is cheating its probably because he's so adament that you are and there's nothing wrong with a little make up, so has he never had a shave, or wears aftershave or deoderant or sorts his hair out I bet he does you know why to make himself look and feel good as you do with doing your hair and make up, he should appreciate the fact your notletting yourself go especially if your in a slip of depression
answerme_tender
Oct 15, 2010, 09:46 AM
Maybe you both need to talk about how neither one you trust the other one. You both lack the security in this relationship, that both need to know where and what the other one is doing even if at work.
There is obviously a reason why he feels the need to program lock on phone and sleep with it under his pillow. One reason is that you invade his privacy and check his phone.
His attitude towards keeping his phone with him at all times could give the impression that he is being unfaithful. However you starting to wear makeup and working out could also give him the impression your cheating.
Bottom line is you both need to sit down and talk to each other. You might want to try some professional counceling, that why they could be mediator, so no one gets control of the conversation.
talaniman
Oct 17, 2010, 10:43 AM
For whatever reason you don't talk honestly with each other, stop it and start talking and forget the presuming, and assuming, it's a game you can't win.