KittyWalker
Oct 14, 2010, 02:49 PM
Ok so this will take some time. We met over the Internet. He lived in the States I live in Europe but we are both from the same country. We were chatting for months couldn't wait to meet in person. So 9months later when he came back to Europe from college for the summer, we met, and we haven't been living far from each other, 20minutes or so. We had a wonderful time for a month and a half and then he needed to go back to USA. Since I already had a plan for the summer to go to America to visit my friends I agreed to visit him too, he invited me and I sad yes.
Needless to say how great it was for us, the perfect summer with the person I was falling in love with. But then it came September and I had to go home to Europe and he had to stay for college in the states. We talked before I left how will things go, and decided that will do the long distance thing. Long story short-we survived it! For two years we functioned like that, Europe states Europe states... and than he had got the opportunity to live and work in our European home state so there was finally no need for us to have a phone relationship sooo we rented an apartment and moved in together.
BTW he is a professional athlete and I am in health care. I mean all that time in the previous two years we were practically living together for couple of months when we got the chance to be with one another. Anyway it wasn't suppose to be a new thing. It was just the two of us just like from the beginning. We lived like that for 10 months almost, it was a good experience for us but for him obviously too much. When we returned home he lived with his folks and I with mine, he talked to me less and less and texted me not so often. I tried to explain that to myself that he is catching up with friends and family since he has been away for so many years.
But... apparently that was not the case... we were on the beach one day and I suggested we should walk a bit... and then he said this words "i have a problem" I said what problem you can tell me... but the problem was me.. he said "i cooled off i am not into this anymore i am sorry it must be a shock for you its a shock for me too..and stuff like that..and yes it was a shock for me.we were driving together to his place and i haven't said a word..when we came to his house i took my stuff and left.unfortunately i forgot something and i came back to find him locked up in his room crying..what?i left again..i didn't want to see him or hear him nothing i was crushed.
he left me alone for a month and then texted me asking me how i was hope you're doing ok u moved along blah, blah..i was shocked what does he want.i answered him that he should leave me alone like i asked him to and that i was not good i am hurting.he didn't want us to be together again.ok.further on.now i had to recover again from the scratch..until he e mailed me like 10 pages or something telling me that he wants to make clear why we broke up and wants me to be happy and that we couldn't go on..and i was like i understand that for the hundred time i just want you to leave me alone not to leave me all over again and i suggested that if he had Something to say he knows where i lived.couple of days later he waited for me in front of my apartment talk about shock.in short he was confused wanted to hug me and eventually we met once more and after that he called me that he is leaving the next day which i was used to.but when he did leave i realized that he couldn't make an effort because he is not here.so this time he gave me the chance to brake it off again.
two weeks later i am out with my friends and who do i see...my ex who was not suppose to be there at all.i didn't say hi which pissed him off and threw me into another shock.go figure.he claimed his stuff back and i called him to come pick them up.he just wanted to escape not look at me at all but i managed to drew something out of him.he didn't want to get together i didn't force and i said he could leave if he wanted.so he left, he left through the door one foot inside had second thoughts i could see that.after a moment he really left...i was ok this time because i didn't expect anything to happen.
But surprise he texts me an hours later saying that he is willing to give us another chance if i am up for it.i didn't answered so he calls me asking did i get the text, this is what i answered to him "you are very confused you don't know what you want you should relax I am not going anywhere and you should enjoy your freedom to spend time with your family and concentrate" and I also said I will call him after a while...
So this is the story... and the question.. does he deserve me back after hurting me so many times and being so confused over us over me? I am scared that I will miss a chance of being happy again but on the other side is he just using me again until he finds something more suitable?I need someone to tell me that if I am being blind here. I obviously still have feelings for him but don't know what to do with them.
Needless to say how great it was for us, the perfect summer with the person I was falling in love with. But then it came September and I had to go home to Europe and he had to stay for college in the states. We talked before I left how will things go, and decided that will do the long distance thing. Long story short-we survived it! For two years we functioned like that, Europe states Europe states... and than he had got the opportunity to live and work in our European home state so there was finally no need for us to have a phone relationship sooo we rented an apartment and moved in together.
BTW he is a professional athlete and I am in health care. I mean all that time in the previous two years we were practically living together for couple of months when we got the chance to be with one another. Anyway it wasn't suppose to be a new thing. It was just the two of us just like from the beginning. We lived like that for 10 months almost, it was a good experience for us but for him obviously too much. When we returned home he lived with his folks and I with mine, he talked to me less and less and texted me not so often. I tried to explain that to myself that he is catching up with friends and family since he has been away for so many years.
But... apparently that was not the case... we were on the beach one day and I suggested we should walk a bit... and then he said this words "i have a problem" I said what problem you can tell me... but the problem was me.. he said "i cooled off i am not into this anymore i am sorry it must be a shock for you its a shock for me too..and stuff like that..and yes it was a shock for me.we were driving together to his place and i haven't said a word..when we came to his house i took my stuff and left.unfortunately i forgot something and i came back to find him locked up in his room crying..what?i left again..i didn't want to see him or hear him nothing i was crushed.
he left me alone for a month and then texted me asking me how i was hope you're doing ok u moved along blah, blah..i was shocked what does he want.i answered him that he should leave me alone like i asked him to and that i was not good i am hurting.he didn't want us to be together again.ok.further on.now i had to recover again from the scratch..until he e mailed me like 10 pages or something telling me that he wants to make clear why we broke up and wants me to be happy and that we couldn't go on..and i was like i understand that for the hundred time i just want you to leave me alone not to leave me all over again and i suggested that if he had Something to say he knows where i lived.couple of days later he waited for me in front of my apartment talk about shock.in short he was confused wanted to hug me and eventually we met once more and after that he called me that he is leaving the next day which i was used to.but when he did leave i realized that he couldn't make an effort because he is not here.so this time he gave me the chance to brake it off again.
two weeks later i am out with my friends and who do i see...my ex who was not suppose to be there at all.i didn't say hi which pissed him off and threw me into another shock.go figure.he claimed his stuff back and i called him to come pick them up.he just wanted to escape not look at me at all but i managed to drew something out of him.he didn't want to get together i didn't force and i said he could leave if he wanted.so he left, he left through the door one foot inside had second thoughts i could see that.after a moment he really left...i was ok this time because i didn't expect anything to happen.
But surprise he texts me an hours later saying that he is willing to give us another chance if i am up for it.i didn't answered so he calls me asking did i get the text, this is what i answered to him "you are very confused you don't know what you want you should relax I am not going anywhere and you should enjoy your freedom to spend time with your family and concentrate" and I also said I will call him after a while...
So this is the story... and the question.. does he deserve me back after hurting me so many times and being so confused over us over me? I am scared that I will miss a chance of being happy again but on the other side is he just using me again until he finds something more suitable?I need someone to tell me that if I am being blind here. I obviously still have feelings for him but don't know what to do with them.