My husband was promoted to manager in another department about 6 months ago. The next month his boss hired a female co-worker to work for my husband. I was talking to my husband about his staff and how the new co-worker is doing. He told me she's seemed to know what she's doing and he also told me what she looked like tall blonde and not bad looking. Then he tells me he asked her to ride with him to company's office for training that was an hour away. They take these business trips for meetings and training at least 3 to 5 times a month just them two. Deep down I didn't have good feeling about this my gut feeling was telling me otherwise. The last 5 months his attitude changed towards me no affection, he doesn't talk to me like he used to and he tries to avoid me. I try not to ask about her but when I do he gets so defensive saying do you think I would risk my job and I can't support my family if I'm fired! I explain to him why he doesn't talk to me and there's no affection ever since she started. He told me nothing is going on and he is under a lot of stress. So I asked a friend that works in another department at same company as my husband if she could find out anything. Well she found out he said couple sexual comments about the female co-worker “She almost blew my top off” and other sexual comments about other women in office. The same female co-worker that works for him is in his office a lot whispering to him and laughing. Not only has he talked about other women I found out he talk's bad of me and my parents to others. I was so shocked this man I married I don't know him anymore. I confronted him about these comments he kept denying it and finally he admitted he said those things and he told me nothing has happened or never will. The female co-worker is married (2nd marriage) and has 2 kids. I think she knows he is attracted to her and she uses that to her advantage since he is her boss. I love him very much we have 2 kids together and we been married 11years. He makes feel that I'm not attractive anymore and he is better than me attitude. I know I'm not ugly but I feel so lonely and depressed. I just don't know if can trust him anymore and he's lied to me too much. He told me he's been very unhappy in our marriage for long time, but he loves me. I told him you were happy until you changed jobs! He told me he is willing to work it out with me. I don't know if he is staying in this marriage for the kids or he just can't afford the divorce right now. I have so many mixed feelings about this; I just don't know what his problem is. Every day when he goes to work I get so depressed, I just can't take this anymore. What should I do?

If he's willing to work things out with you, then you know where he stands. As for you, what do YOU want? Do you want him to stop working there? You want him to find another job?

I think I'd stop questioning his coworkers for starters. That makes you look very insecure and I am guessing the information gets back to "her." If she is interested in your husband, you are feeding into her.

I'd also stop confronting him. You asked, he answered. Hopefully he's learned a lesson.

I work in a male-dominated industry. I travel with males all the time. Nothing ever has or is going on. Males and females work together and keep it about work all the time.

Would I be upset that he lied to me? You bet I would!

Perhaps the two of you could go for counselling or just you - you have to find a way to find peace with this situation or it will eat holes in your relationship (and your stomach).

Daisy, what do you do to help yourself deal with stress? It seems like you are under a lot caused by so many things (ranging from fear to over active imagination) and it doesn't sound like you have any outlets for it.

I, too, think counseling could be a good thing for you and your family.

Drop this line of questioning, and stay out of his work place, and fire your spies. Either trust the guy or not. So what if he is a bad mouthing boob at work? Not your business, and his denial when caught was a typical defense for a wife with an over reacting imagination.

The new blond already knows her affect on males, not just her bosses, so get over yourself, or expect more lies. He may be to afraid to tell you to butt out, but I would if you were my wife.