My apologies if this is hard to read at times. I'm doing this from my phone at work.

As my question states, why? I don't understand why she does this. It frustrates me that I have to masturbate so much because she barely has sex with me. The last time we had sex was over a week and a half ago and it's usually about that often. Once a week or once every two weeks. She always says she's too tired or not in the mood. But when I'm at work I go online and I find out she's been watching porn while at work, the same night she told me she's too tired and not feeling well. She did this tonight. I work 5 nights a week on 3rd shift and this often makes me mad before work.

I don't know what to do anymore. When we first got together it happened often. Almost every day and sometimes multiple times a day. It's been like this for a few months now and I just want to give up. My birthday was back in August and even on my own birthday she said she was too tired. I was so frustrated! This is getting old. And when I confront her about it, she denies watching it and denies masturbating too. Even when I have proof. She lies about it.

How old are both of you?

How do you know she is looking at porn AND masturbating? One can look without acting. Are you spying on her?

How long have you been together?
How long have you been living together?

Over the past few months, what has her schedule been like? Has she been more stressed or worried than she was when you got together?

What is her health like? Is she on any medications that might affect her libido? Has there been a change in birth control? Has there been a pregnancy scare? All of those things can affect her libido.

You say that you 'confront' her. 'Confront' generally means accuse or demand answers. That can be enough to make anyone shut down. Have you tried having a calm discussion about wants and needs when you aren't wanting to have sex?

We are both 20 years old.

Ok I don't know for sure if she is actually masturbating too but I know she is watching it via Internet history.

We have been together for 8 months now. Living together since about 2 weeks into the relationship.

And her schedule hasn't really changed at all. Besides her leaving her job then going back to it.

She hasn't been on any medication at all except birth control for the past 5 years. And we just found out she's pregnant. About 5 weeks along. But this has been happening since before she would have gotten pregnant.

And yes. I have tried sitting down with her and talking with her about it. She says she'll work on it and it never changed. And we still haven't done it since the time I said in the original post.

We are both 20 years old.

Ok I don't know for sure if she is actually masturbating too but I know she is watching it via Internet history.

We have been together for 8 months now. Living together since about 2 weeks into the relationship.

And her schedule hasn't really changed at all. Besides her leaving her job then going back to it.

She hasn't been on any medication at all except birth control for the past 5 years. And we just found out she's pregnant. About 5 weeks along. But this has been happening since before she would have gotten pregnant.

And yes. I have tried sitting down with her and talking with her about it. She says she'll work on it and it never changed. And we still haven't done it since the time I said in the original post.



8 months of being in a relationship. 2 weeks into the relationship you two are living together. 5 weeks pregnant already.

Moving just a little fast...

That right there may have caused a lot of stress for her.

Have you even asked her if she is stressed out? Or how she is feeling?

Let's focus on that right now. I'm not too concerned about the porn as much as I am concerned about WHY she is not being intimate with you.

You really need to talk to her. Not just, "hey, why aren't we having sex?"

Really talk to her. She may be taking on a lot right now, and is stressed to the max.

Is she having any morning sickness?

Yeah this may be fast to some people, but to us, it's what we want. We both want a family, We both want children. It's just what we want.

Other than the porn/sex thing our relationship is pretty good. I'm usually happy outside of this.

I have tried asking her how she is feeling and she always answers either with I'm fine. Or I don't know. It's just what she always answers with.

She has been having morning sickness quite often for the past 2 weeks.

This isn't just a one time occurrence though. Last night, while I was at work, again. She was watching porn while I was at work... After turning me down again.

I am concerned that you are checking HER Internet History while you are at work (if I read your post correctly) or checking it when you are home to 'catch' her looking. Stop snooping/spying on her. Either you trust her or you don't. Snooping implies you don't. It also implies that you think she shouldn't have any privacy.

You seem to equate looking at porn with getting off. Not everyone who looks at porn masturbates every time they look. It is akin to reading Romance novel or looking at Playboy. It can be something to look at and maybe try to get aroused. It doesn't mean she is getting aroused.

Why did you move in together two weeks into the relationship? Was because you thought you have feelings for her or because of the sex?

How stressful is work for her? Stopping and restarting job says that something isn't/wasn't going well. What are her work hours like?

How stressful is her home life from her perspective? Is she trying to keep up with work and the home? Do you share chores?

Has she been to the doctor yet to have her pregnancy confirmed and to determine how far along she is? IF she was properly using contraceptives and got pregnant, her birth control may have been messing up for awhile.

How is the rest of your relationship? Is there affection and intimacy without the expectation of having sex? Is she looking for making love instead of having sex?

Is the timing off? If you work third shift and she works days, it takes extra work to find a time to have sex. If you sleep during the day and are expecting/wanting sex when you wake up, keep in mind that she would have been awake and doing things while you slept. She may be tired when you feel rested.

First, sorry but you will find that for many people once and twice a week is normal, several times a day is not the regular norm ( hey I watched Oprah yesterday)

She may have just figured it was the early sex and then things would go back to what she though was normal.

Also I saw the word pregnant somewhere, and if so, her body will be changing, and her desires may change also.

I think you need a real dose of reality about how much sex adult married, working people really have.
If she has a job, cooks at home, cleans house ( do you do a lot at home also) she may just be tired also.

And if you are checking on her internet usages, stop, don't you ever do that,

I am a girl and think I can give you some insight, even though I'm seeing this rather late. You said you have been watching porn and getting off. When my boyfriend tried to watch a porn with me I instantly became turned off by him, thinking I wasn't good enough for him and he needed to watch that to even get turned on to have sex with me. I was there willing and ready and the sight of those perfect looking women made me feel like crap about how I looked, and I KNOW I'm rather pretty, I get hit on constantly, but it still hurt my ego. After that I spent a lot of time trying to watch it on my own to become comfortable with it, but the more I watched the more I felt like **** about myself and just felt like I couldn't possibly measure up to that. Also, she is probably having a lot of body issues now that she is pregnant. I dealt with my jealousy about the porn rather well and thought I was over it until I found out I was pregnant again. You need to tell her everyday how beautiful you think she is and that she is the only one you want. If you want her to stop, make sure she knows you stopped watching. That could be why. If the problem didn't stem from her insecuries about you watching it, then she is an addict and could need help.

There are more recent threads which could use your contribution.

This is an old thread, no action in a long time.

Please keep an eye on the dates.