I met my ex just 5 months ago and after 2 weeks she fell pregnant although it was 6 weeks in that we found out , we then had an argument and she lost the baby 2 months in , we got back together because she missed me , then a few days later she dumped me again , I ran after her a lot and after another 2 weeks I sent one text and then nothing a week later she got in contact and said she still loved and missed me and we got back again , after just 2 days she asked her 6 yr old son if he liked me and he said he didn't , then a few days later she started drifting away again from me and tried to dump me , she said she didn't want to do it but could not help it and said I was perfect for her , she stayed with me after a chat and a few days later she dumped me again , to start with she said all the usual stuff that oh I don't love you and you were too controlling , then I sent her a message and said bull**** that it is not about your feelings at all and it is your son who does not want me and you are going with it for his sake , she took her time in replying and then agreed that it was and that he takes priority to which I said OK I respect that .
So I have lost the best girl I have know ever because of a 6 yr old and without being able to show him how kind I am I can not change his mind and now she won't even talk to me , she ignores my text and calls even though they are not begging her , she broke with me just 2 days ago over the phone .
Any suggestions what I can do , and I don't want some moron saying treat her like crap or walk away as that's not what I am like , I know we are good together and I am sure she knows this as well as why else would she come back twice , the times she broke it off before we had some bad times after in way of **** texts and hassle towards each other .
Her sons birthday is 2 weeks time and I thought should I still send a present ?

I read your post twice. Both times I got the impression she is using her son as an excuse to break up with you once and for all, definitely, with no waffling on her part. Before she used her child as an excuse to end the relationship, she was back and forth, but her son's opinion sealed the deal for her. No relationship. Nada. Nothing.

I suggest you move on, and don't contact her at all.

Your kidding right! You really believe its because her 6 yro said he didn't like you. Come on she is just coming up with another reason to break up AGAIN. She broke it off several times, then apparently if she can't find anyone else she lets you back into her life, until she ready to see if she can find someone else again.
This time she must of found someone and doesn't want contact with you. I think she should be ashamed of herself to use her son has her excuse to break up. She is a grown woman, she doesn't need to give you any excuses!
You need to move on, why keep wasting your time and emotions on someone who doesn't feel the same. Save the present for a woman who wants to be with you.

You need to walk away.

This has not been a healthy relationship from the beginning. Have you actually stayed together as a couple (after the miscarriage) for longer than a week, two at most?

Her child may not want you in his life, but that is probably because he sees how his mom is when you are in hers.

Quite frankly, I think her back and forth is because she hasn't fully dealt with the miscarriage. She wants you back because you are a link to the child that will never be, but when she is with you she remembers how she lost the child. It sets up a cycle of on again and off again. You have helped keep that cycle going by not wanting to let her go.

I don't think there are other men. I don't think she is using her child as a reason to break up with you. You are using the child as the reason. She tried to tell you she doesn't feel the same way you do and that you are 'too controlling' and you said, 'no, it isn't. It's your son.' She agreed to get you to leave her alone.

I don't know if you are 'controlling' or not. All that matters is that is how she feels and she has made it clear she doesn't want to continue the relationship or the cycle. IF you continue to try to get her back and 'win' her son over, then you are proving the point that you are 'too controlling' and not listening to her.

Leave her alone. Allow yourself to heal. When you are ready, you will meet someone better suited to building a relationship with you. Even if you were to get back with her, BOTH of you need to heal and move on from the past before you try again. At that point, you both need to make certain that the issues from the past have been worked through. It is a step that has been overlooked through all of this.

Well I do think that there could be some truth in the kid excuse as when she mis carried I went to her home and tried to talk to her , her parents stopped me at the door , I walked away calm but as she was up stairs at the time and I was at the front I had to shout up at her , not angry , the child was there and did get scared , this is the last time he saw or heard me , then it was several weeks we got back together and he was asked , I do remember she said she had asked him 2 days after we got back together and she did say then he didn't like me , so it is possible she is telling the truth , the child hangs on her pocket all day and night , they share a room at her parents and apart from him at school till 3pm they are together all the time , for almost 7 yrs she is all he has got , his father fuked off 3 days after he was born , I do not think he will allow any man into their lives , he used to cry if she held my hand .

No I am not controlling , I am a follower not leader, I do know she hurts over this as she showed me when she first tried to end it , she's been on and off anti depressants as well,went cold turkey Citalopram 20mg , then re started 2 weeks ago.

She is not the type to just get another person , takes her ages to get over a relationship even though she ends them.

If it was not true I really do not think she would say it as there are plenty of other things,she doesn't want me to blame her son for the break up. I think she actually was looking for a way to fix it all as that's what she said when we got back

Comment on Cat1864's post

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No I am not controlling , I am a follower not leader, I do know she hurts over this as she showed me when she first tried to end it , shes been on and off anti depressants as well,went cold turkey Citalopram 20mg , then re started 2 wks ago.

This is another piece of the big picture. A person can not go 'cold turkey' with anti-depressants. It will mess him/her up even more than he/she already is.

You both need to separately get your lives under control. It is understandable that you have feelings for her and want to be with her. However, it doesn't sound like she is where she needs to be to work on being a partner for you. If you try to keep a relationship going right now, it is going to be more of the same cycle and it is going to damage both of you even more than it already has. Break the cycle and let yourself heal. Accept whatever reason she gave you as closure for the past. All you can do is hope she is doing the same. Don't give yourself false hope that you will be back together instead move on with your life.

I highly recommend not accepting any contact from her should she instigate it for a very long time. On your part, don't try to contact her. Let it all go and let yourself heal.

Thanks, I have taken her number from my phone,she went out Saturday night and so did I, I text her and she did text back although not what I wanted to hear but at least it was contact.I do think she is messed up and I just have to wait,absence/heart

Every time I have spoken to my ex she kept saying oh you will move on and find a nice young 25 yr old , I am 36 , my ex is 39 , is she being sarcastic?. is she sort of saying what she is actually afraid of ?