My boyfriend of 9 months ended our relationship 6 months ago. As soon as he ended it, he called every week saying that he "just wanted to see me" or "just wanted to hear my voice". I was trying to get over him so I refused. Finally, he sent me an email apologizing and basically taking responsibility for everything. I met up with him following the email and we ended up having sex. The next day he confesses that while we were broken up, he had made out with a female friend of his whom I was always suspicious of. He said that he did it because he thought that there could be something there, but that he was not physically attracted to her. He told her that we were trying to work out our relationship, and he told a few other people, but he asked me not to tell anyone because he wanted people to leave us alone. After a week, I broke off the relationship because he never wanted to make real plans after the initial time that we hung out, yet he would keep plans with his other friends, including the girl friend of his that he made out with! That was 3 months ago. He tried to persuade me not to end it, but I ended up saying that he was acting selfish and that nobody with any self respect would ever put up with a situation like that and that it was offensive that he would even ask. He tried one more time to persuade me not to end it, but I would not budge. He sent me a txt to wish me a happy 4th of July, but I didn't respond. A few weeks after that, I dated a guy for about a month who really pursued me and got my confidence back up. It didn't work out with that guy, but I was feeling good again so I sent an email asking the ex if we could be friends. He sent me a reply 10 minutes later saying how great that would be... We met up about a week later and had a really great time. I kept it totally friendly and he said what a great time he had and kept wanting to hang out with me. He also apologized for the last time we were together. The next time that we hung out, he made a move and we ended up having sex. Since then (about 2 months ago) it has been a real roller coaster. I feel like he is stringing me along. He is really hot and cold. He says that he wants to work on our friendship because the chemistry is so strong, but he wants to make sure that there is a strong friendship as well before we enter into a relationship again. He is still friends with the girl friend and even called off tentative plans because she was having family problems. I also have reasons to believe that he is going out to dinner or for drinks with a girl that he met shortly before we started hanging out again. I am sure that nothing physical has happened between them. I do trust him that he is telling me the truth, because he has told me the truth even in difficult circumstances before. However, I feel like he is hanging out with this girl consistently because he wants to see if there could be anything between them before breaking up with me to be with her (she is quite attractive). I feel like since our relationship has failed before, he is afraid that it will fail again. I have told him how I feel twice. Once I asked him if he was dating anyone else. He seemed shocked that I would ask and said NO! Are you?? Whenever he hangs out with the pretty girl, he almost always ends up wanting to hang out with me afterward. The thing is, that they go out to dinner and such, whereas we might meet up for drinks and go back to my place or he just comes back to my place. I told him that I will not continue sleeping with him if he is dating other girls. He said that he is not dating other girls, that he is just hanging out with friends and the reason that he goes to dinner and drinks with them is that he doesn't have them come to his place and he does not go to their places. He held me tight and said that he did not want to hurt or disrespect me. He sent me a text asking me to go to a party with him, and he would let me know when he got there. It was going to be a late party, but I finally called him at 2 to see where he was at, and he made an excuse that his brother had caused drama at the party and they had to leave. I found out from his brother, though that my ex was just really drunk and his brother had to take him home. The next day he calls twice and texts me a long apology. I am extremely upset and I phone him. I tell him that his behavior is causing me a great deal of emotional pain and that that I love him, but I can't continue to be treated that way. He asked me what he could do and I said, "just make plans with me and follow through with them". When you don't do this, it makes me feel like I am not a priority. He assured me that I was a high priority and we talked for a long time on the phone and we made plans for Sunday. A few hours after making the plans, he texts saying he might have to cancel because some family drama came up but he would let me know tomorrow. Again, he seriously apologized, and I said that I understood because it was family. He calls me the next day to cancel and apologize and ends up talking about his family issues with me for a half hour. I don't know, I feel like I should run, but at the same time when it is good it is so good. Any advice helps, thanks!

His friends want to see him he jumps.
His family needs him he jumps.
The pretty girl is available he is there.
Where is he when you need him?
Oh wait, he'll be around when he wants sex.
He gives you just enough to make sure that you will be willingly waiting in the sidelines.
Don't be fooled by his words if his actions tell a different story.
He's not buying yours when you say you won't sleep with him if he doesn't treat you right because that's exactly what you keep doing.

"I ended up saying that he was acting selfish and that nobody with any self respect would ever put up with a situation like that and that it was offensive that he would even ask."

The problem I see here is that you say one thing and do something totally different. You suspicious that he is dating someone else - he takes them out and courts them, but then comes to your place for a late night booty call, and you let him. You are being treated with disrespect - he constantly cancels plans, don't make time for you etc. yet all you do is complain and do nothing about it.

Can't you see you're being used? And that anyone can say pretty much anything and with no actions to back it up, all his words are just noise?

He ended it 6 months ago, and don't fool yourself thinking that you are back together. You're not in relationship. Please stand up for yourself and end it. You wasted too much time on this nonsense already.

Good luck.

I agree with shadowburn and QLP you have to run away from that situation your just wasting your time with an ******* like him... he's just using you, what if he find somebody new? What will you do?

Do yourself a favor, stay away from him... start doing NC... it will help you a lot...
To be honest with you I've been in that situation and soon realized that I don't deserve to be stressed like that...
SELF RESPECT is the key... love yourself... you can do it!!

GOODLUCK AND GODBLESS...
PRAY ALL THE TIME :)

Hey everyone! Thanks for taking the time to read and respond to my rather lengthy post... thanks for being so blunt and honest. Although it hurts to hear, it is the wake up call that I need.