pinkpillows
Oct 9, 2010, 10:24 PM
My 7 yo daughter is also mean. And it is mean in a hard way to describe. She is mainly mean to her friends but only some of the time - not all of the time. She has the most difficulty when it is her and 2 other girls.
She doesn't call her friends names or anything, but she will say certain things. For example, if her and another friend are playing with something - then she may say something like "there isn't enough for you". Or "you can't use that color". She says these things not nicley but in a bossy, not nice voice.
If some girls askher to come over and play - and she doesn't want to - then she may say "no!" ( not no thank you - but a no in a snotty, almost teenager type attitude with the eyes rolling and everything)
If someone has something that she wants - then she may start to cry and pout until she gets it.
I also don't know what to do. I have talked with her and told her that no one will want to be her friend if she acts that way. If she says something really mean - I will take away dessert or playdates as punishment ( and I always follow through). Once she lost playdates for 3 weeks. Another time - dessert for 10 days.
I have talked with the school counsellors. They had enrolled her in a program to "build self esteem". At the end of the program - the instructors told me that they"loved " my daughter and it was a joy to her her in the class. The thing is - adults always - and I mean always - love my daughter. We have gone out to restatuarants and the mangers have given her toys. We have gone to 7-11 and the clerk gives her a lollipop. etc.
For her art projects that she doesn't want to share - I have told her that we can get more of the things that are :used up".
Help. It almost seems as this is just " the way she is". I am concerned that she will start losing her frineds. There is already one mom in our neighborhood that doens't want her daughter palying with my daughter.
I also roll play with her barbies to try to show her how other people feel when she acts the way she does. She alwyas says to me " your right mommy" and "I'm sorry" But the behavior still continues.
We have not tried counselling.
Does anyone have any other suggestions? I need help ( we have one older son as well about 18 months older than his sister)
She doesn't call her friends names or anything, but she will say certain things. For example, if her and another friend are playing with something - then she may say something like "there isn't enough for you". Or "you can't use that color". She says these things not nicley but in a bossy, not nice voice.
If some girls askher to come over and play - and she doesn't want to - then she may say "no!" ( not no thank you - but a no in a snotty, almost teenager type attitude with the eyes rolling and everything)
If someone has something that she wants - then she may start to cry and pout until she gets it.
I also don't know what to do. I have talked with her and told her that no one will want to be her friend if she acts that way. If she says something really mean - I will take away dessert or playdates as punishment ( and I always follow through). Once she lost playdates for 3 weeks. Another time - dessert for 10 days.
I have talked with the school counsellors. They had enrolled her in a program to "build self esteem". At the end of the program - the instructors told me that they"loved " my daughter and it was a joy to her her in the class. The thing is - adults always - and I mean always - love my daughter. We have gone out to restatuarants and the mangers have given her toys. We have gone to 7-11 and the clerk gives her a lollipop. etc.
For her art projects that she doesn't want to share - I have told her that we can get more of the things that are :used up".
Help. It almost seems as this is just " the way she is". I am concerned that she will start losing her frineds. There is already one mom in our neighborhood that doens't want her daughter palying with my daughter.
I also roll play with her barbies to try to show her how other people feel when she acts the way she does. She alwyas says to me " your right mommy" and "I'm sorry" But the behavior still continues.
We have not tried counselling.
Does anyone have any other suggestions? I need help ( we have one older son as well about 18 months older than his sister)