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View Full Version : I'm a military dependent but don't know my rights... where should I go?


cgbc43
Oct 9, 2010, 08:25 AM
We married in Alaska , now he is in seattle and I'm not with him... what steps should I take next?

cgbc43
Oct 9, 2010, 08:38 AM
Can I go and report my husband for abandonment at the US embassy in my country?

Fr_Chuck
Oct 9, 2010, 08:52 AM
There is no way to "void" a marriage without going to court. And a marriage in Alaska is valid anywhere.

You need to divorce him if you are now not living together.

cgbc43
Oct 9, 2010, 09:08 AM
I live in another country,and I have a lot of things still with him that I want to get back. Can I report him to the US embassy in my country?

AK lawyer
Oct 9, 2010, 11:16 AM
You are the wife of a U.S. serviceman? Where are you located. Are you a non-U.S. national? Where were you married? Do you have children by your husband?

Might not do any good to report him to the U.S. embassy.

Report him to his commanding officer.

cgbc43
Oct 9, 2010, 03:24 PM
Yes I am.. got married in fort richardson ak.almost 5 months ago. I have to leave Alaska to attend a wedding then got a call from him saying our marriage is void and for me not to return in Alaska. He is now in Seattle to join another unit .

cgbc43
Oct 9, 2010, 03:29 PM
I don't know which unit he's joining , and I don't know his commanding officer , where should I ask?

Fr_Chuck
Oct 9, 2010, 03:55 PM
Posts merged,

It is also possible he is not moving posts, but you should have a dependent ID correct and visa to enter the country ? There is nothing stoping you from coming back.

But obviously he wants a divorce so best to file for divorce and ask for your things back.

But yes you can start with a local military base or embassy

cgbc43
Oct 10, 2010, 01:57 AM
My dependent id is with him... I can enter the country since I have a visa.

cgbc43
Oct 10, 2010, 02:18 AM
Who do I contact at the base to know his wherabouts? I know he is hiding from me and his responsibilities... how do I ask for financial support? He made me lose my job now I can't find him...

cgbc43
Oct 10, 2010, 03:53 AM

Fr_Chuck
Oct 10, 2010, 07:29 AM
What is your status in the US, are you living in Alaska ?

Fr_Chuck
Oct 10, 2010, 07:41 AM
Contact the nearest base and embassy, ask the base to re-issue you the ID, explain you have lost yours.

Also give them the entire story, they will locate him for you, after they verify the facts

cgbc43
Oct 10, 2010, 05:07 PM
I'm a tourist in Alaska

cgbc43
Oct 10, 2010, 05:09 PM
I am now in Jakarta Indonesia... ok. Thank you so much.

Fr_Chuck
Oct 10, 2010, 05:11 PM
Ok if you are merely a tourist you can not get a ID card since you are not a resident there.

What country you are from, ( I guess you are on a tourist visa?? )

So you will have your passport from your country which is a legal ID and should be accepted for anything you need in Alaska

cgbc43
Oct 10, 2010, 05:12 PM
Entered Alaska as a tourist.. got married there 5 months ago... I have our marriage certificate with me.

cgbc43
Oct 10, 2010, 05:15 PM
The reason I ask was because I do have an alaskan ID. From Indonesia. And yes on a tourist visa.

cgbc43
Oct 10, 2010, 05:15 PM
Can I show my alaskan ID at the embassy ?

Fr_Chuck
Oct 10, 2010, 05:15 PM
OK, so you need to change your immigration status.
I would hire an immigration attorney. Since you should not have gotten married on a touist visa but needed to leave and have it changed to the correct visa to stay.

cgbc43
Oct 13, 2010, 06:42 AM
Which he all took from me when I left Alaska. He said he will send me ticket to meet him in Seattle. He is to sign in to his new command post this nov. But I got an email saying he filed for an annulment of our marriage. All my things are with him and I have no money since he made me quit my job when he ask me to marry him... what should I do and where should I go to ask for help?

cgbc43
Oct 13, 2010, 06:45 AM

donf
Oct 13, 2010, 07:07 AM
How long have you been married to this low life? Do you want to remain married to this slug or not. Was the marriage consummated (intercourse)?

Since your marriage occurred while he was in the military and it appears that you were not an American, I am thinking that he must have had to go to his commanding officer to get permission to marry you.

Immediately you should go to a Base Chaplin (for your faith) nearest to your location and seek guidance from him/her. They will be able to help you understand your options. As of right now, you are still a military dependent and have rights under both military law and civil law.

Also, just because he wants an annulment, does not mean he gets one. You have to consent to an annulment.

cgbc43
Oct 13, 2010, 07:41 AM
I married him last June 14 in Alaska. No I don't want to be married with him. And yes it was consummated. I just got an email saying he pawned my iMac laptop.. and I learned from friends that he is on his way to vegas right this very moment...

JudyKayTee
Oct 13, 2010, 07:43 AM
There is no such thing as a temporary SS number.

Why do you need something like this?

cgbc43
Oct 13, 2010, 07:49 AM
I married a man in servicen,I'm not a us citizen. He said that he applied for my ssn that he got it but was denied... having problems with him.

JudyKayTee
Oct 13, 2010, 07:51 AM
He may have applied for a SS number for you. I have no idea how he would do that without you being physically present (in fact, I think it's impossible) BUT I believe he is lying to you. Why? I have no idea.

cgbc43
Oct 13, 2010, 07:56 AM
But I think he did get it. Because it was delivered to his dad's home in Illinois and I heard his dad mention it on the phone...

JudyKayTee
Oct 13, 2010, 08:02 AM
Then why are you asking the question? It appears you already know the answer. The process doesn't matter if the card was obtained in your name.

There is NO temporary SS issued.

donf
Oct 13, 2010, 08:18 AM
Talk to a lawyer right now! Or at the very least, talk to his former commander! I believe that this would be considered spousal abandonment. This is activity that the Army needs to be aware of and put the information into his record.

I do not believe he can go to LV and file for a divorce without your consent.

Where you a U.S. citizen prior to your marriage?

Do not wait! Call base legal and see if an Army lawyer can advise you. Also file charges for the theft and sale of your property.

Fr_Chuck
Oct 13, 2010, 08:20 AM
Please do not start a new thread, merely add to the old one, I have merged your posts

cgbc43
Oct 15, 2010, 07:24 AM
Because now he's saying that it was denied...

cgbc43
Oct 15, 2010, 07:29 AM
No , I'm not a citizen. And I had contacted base legal already. They can't do much till he sign in to his new command post. Can I hire a lawyer and let my husband pay? Since I don't have any money.

JudyKayTee
Oct 15, 2010, 09:22 AM
If he didn't present the proper ID - and, possibly, you weren't there in person - yes, the application for a SS number would have been denied. Again, there are NO temporary numbers issued.

Yes, contact an Attorney for whatever issue you are asking about and ask the Court to order your husband to pay your legal fees. You may have to pay an upfront retainer yourself.

If you are a military wife, don't you get a portion of his paycheck?

donf
Oct 15, 2010, 02:04 PM
Okay,

I'm getting mixed messages from you.

You say your father is living in Illinois, but you are not a citizen.

How long have you been living in America and where were you born?

cgbc43
Oct 15, 2010, 06:25 PM
Not my father, but my husband's adoptive father lives in Illinois. I'm Indonesian. Stayed in the US for 5 months.

cgbc43
Oct 15, 2010, 06:26 PM
He don't give me anything..

donf
Oct 15, 2010, 07:01 PM
Okay, by the way, welcome to our homeland.

There is so much going on here that I need to retrench my thoughts.

You and this guy got married in Alaska. Currently he has told you that he is getting an annulment. And to the best of your knowledge he has gone to Los Vegas to get the annulment (at least that's what his friends are telling you)

You have received you military dependent status, but not your Social Security number.

Have you applied for citizenship here in the US yet?

You spoke to the Base Legal department and they told you that nothing can be done until he checks into his new duty station, which you believe to be in Seattle.

How were you able to confirm that he has orders to Seattle? Did Base Legal contact his next duty station to verify if in fact he has already checked in?

Did you talk to his former commanding officer in Alaska about your situation and the theft of your proerty and its eventual sale?

Have you been served with any legal papers from your husband?

I believe that both of you would need to be residents of Nevada in order for either a divorce or an annulment to take place. I'm not an attorney but that certainly needs to be checked out and rather quickly.

I would not trust the next breath that your husband takes much less anything he says to you. And certainly not anything his friends say to you.

I strongly suggest you cease all contact with his friends and him and get an attorney right now!

cgbc43
Oct 15, 2010, 07:12 PM
Yes.we married in Alaska last June.then this oct.when I was in indonesia,he said by email,that the marriage was void,he filed for an annulment.he took my id.I was to suppose to go with him to seattle.all my things are with the household goods.

donf
Oct 15, 2010, 07:15 PM
Why did he say the marriage was void?

What reason did he give you to support that position?

cgbc43
Oct 15, 2010, 07:18 PM
He's already in Seattle living inside the base.but has not signed in yet till nov. I haven't served any papers yet. He is in vegas and he pawned my laptop because he said so on his email to me. I have not contact his commanding officer in Alaska.

cgbc43
Oct 15, 2010, 07:21 PM
Something about the dates not matching... he contacted a lawyer on the internet to fix the thing. And I don't know what the outcome of that is. Since he is the one contacting the lawyer.

donf
Oct 15, 2010, 07:26 PM
Errors can be fixed on the document.

Human errors do not necessarily invalidate the marriage. Lying about a truth might be a fraudulent statement may be cause, but you would need a lawyer to protect you and your rights.

Please talk to a lawyer it's what 5:00PM in Alaska now. See if the base Chaplin's office can refer you to one now. Your husband is flat out lying to you.

cgbc43
Oct 15, 2010, 07:34 PM
I live so far away with no money... I think he is getting away with this easily. He did this to his 2nd wife when he was stationed in Korea. Thank you..

JudyKayTee
Oct 16, 2010, 07:05 AM
He did "this?" What is "this?" He will eventually sign in, you will eventually get direct payment. If not, you will HAVE to hire an Attorney.

There is no easy way around your problem.

cgbc43
Oct 16, 2010, 08:08 AM
He left the 2nd wife like he did me now... he was also reported to the commanding post but I don't know how he got away with it.

JudyKayTee
Oct 16, 2010, 08:39 AM
Sounds like he's a man who takes advantage of women. He should be stopped, of course, but I don't know how to do that. I'm not sure you can.

And I'm sure after you he will find another woman and take advantage of her - sad but that's how people like him operate.

cgbc43
Oct 16, 2010, 09:12 AM
I know... and to think he's in the military and a mason too... thank you JudyKay.

donf
Oct 20, 2010, 09:24 AM
CGBC,

What is the status of your situation now, please?

By the way, if the Army has recognized the marriage and issued a dependants card to you, then his carrer is screwed if he is brought up on abandonment charges.

Did you get an attorney yet?