gen14laree
Oct 7, 2010, 10:12 AM
I think it all started when I was 13. It got worse when I was fifteen, got even worse when I got pregnant, and now that I'm 18, It seems like it couldn't possibly get any worse without killing me. I must be crazy. I am always in a rage, tired, strange compulsions to do things I know id never do, but it scares me the same, because I want to do them. I'm depressed most of the time, but I don't go to the doctor. Sometimes when I drive, I hullucinate cars (or animals) jumping out and smashing into me. I think about hurting the people I love. I have obsessions (I count, I organize) I don't think I feel the same emotions normal people do. I don't feel empathy, or happiness. When someone I love is sick, I can't care. I want to, but I can't. I have horrible back pain (and nope, I don't have anything wrong with my back) and chest pain. (on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being not painful and 10 being extremely painful, it's a 10.) but there isn't anything I can do about them. I'm pretty sure they come from anxiety. Anger basically controls my life now, I don't think a day goes by without me being angry. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, so I ask you, am I going crazy?