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View Full Version : How does a man establish paternity when he believes a child is his


maggiemae72207
Oct 7, 2010, 08:33 AM
I'm hoping someone can help me. I live in New York state. The situation is that there is a girl that cheated on her boyfriend with my brother. Nine months later she had a baby. However, the boyfriend that she had cheated on had no idea that she ever cheated, so he signed the birth certificate. Now the baby is a few months old and look identicle to my brother's baby pictures, and nothing like the boyfriend. She still has not told anyone that the baby could be my brother's, except for me. She admitted to me one night that she thinks it is my brother's baby but doesn't know what to do. I told my brother and now he would like to be involved with the child if it is his. But the boyfriend still has no idea and nobody in my family is sure of the steps to take to figure all this out. PLEASE HELP!

martinizing2
Oct 7, 2010, 08:43 AM
I would confront her about it.
If there was a possibility the child were mine
I would ask if she would consent to a DNA test.
If she refused, I would hire an attorney .

With a child that could be his on the line,
The time for subtlety and discretion is over.

AK lawyer
Oct 7, 2010, 08:54 AM
... nobody in my family is sure of the steps to take to figure all this out. PLEASE HELP!!

First, I'm not sure if you, or anyone else in your family, should do anything. But that's a moral, not a legal decision to make. It occurs to me to wonder why the mother decided to confide in you.

For a few hundred dollars, you can have DNA testing done. Google "DNA paternity testing", or something similar. It requires a simple cheek swab from the putative father, the child, and preferably the mother.

If your brother is the biological father, he will of course be obligated to pay child support, should the mother request it. He would also probably be entitled to visitation.

maggiemae72207
Oct 7, 2010, 09:02 AM
She confided in me because she's been a friend of mine since high school, which makes the situation even harder. We want to get a dna test but aren't sure how to go about it really. If we ask her and she refuses, can we force it?

maggiemae72207
Oct 7, 2010, 10:39 AM
First, I'm not sure if you, or anyone else in your family, should do anything. But that's a moral, not a legal decision to make. It occurs to me to wonder why the mother decided to confide in you.

For a few hundred dollars, you can have DNA testing done. Google "DNA paternity testing", or something similar. It requires a simple cheek swab from the putative father, the child, and preferably the mother.

If your brother is the biological father, he will of course be obligated to pay child support, should the mother request it. He would also probably be entitled to visitation.

She confided in me because she's been a friend of mine since high school, which makes the situation even harder. We want to get a dna test but aren't sure how to go about it really. If we ask her and she refuses, can we force it?

AK lawyer
Oct 7, 2010, 12:07 PM
... if we ask her and she refuses, can we force it?

Probably, but since society and technology are changing so fast, there isn't a lot of statutory law on that issue. Hard to say by pointing to a specific statute (for N.Y. in this case).