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View Full Version : Should I leave him or should I tell him how I feel?


MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 5, 2010, 07:45 PM
What should I do help? I really love my boyfriend but some of the times he is an azz hole.he tries to act funny by calling me names when he's with his cousin but when we alone he is a different person because he treats me like a princess... *** *** help me!!

Enigma1999
Oct 5, 2010, 07:47 PM
Have you told him how you feel? That it hurts you when he is acting like a show off in front of his cousin?

JoeCanada76
Oct 5, 2010, 07:52 PM
What kind of names? How old are you?

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 5, 2010, 08:12 PM
Comment on Jesushelper76's post
Well he calls me bad words like the b,s,h words... oh im 16
Comment on Enigma1999's post
Na i haent told him nun... yes it really hurts me beause i feel that he doesn't love me

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 5, 2010, 09:15 PM
Yesterday my homegirl bianca asked me if I was dating her ex boyfriend so I said no we just friends so I lied because yea we dating... shes like if you would ever date him that would be ****ed up and I was like why you still feel something for him and she stayed quiet so I guess she still feels something for him... damm what should I do I love him but she's my homegirl?. should I tell her the true and see how she reacts or should I keep it a secret?. should I leave him and be cool with her although I love him so much?. but today I tried to hoke her up with this boy named victor who asked her for her number and she gaved it to him... damm this is so confusing what should I do help me.

joypulv
Oct 5, 2010, 11:03 PM
Tell her the truth and say you didn't think she still felt anything for him. Ask her just what is she feeling. Don't mention the guy she gave her number to; that doesn't mean much about her feelings for her ex.
Why hide stuff from your best friend? She'll find out anyway sooner or later.

kaka67
Oct 6, 2010, 01:43 AM
What's with the caps??

Dump him. Pretty simple answer.

If you let him speak to you like that, then your saying to him that its OK.

Well its NOT!!

16 or 36 its not OK. Respect yourself so that others can also respect you.

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 6, 2010, 04:16 AM
Comment on joypulv's post
Thanks well today ima tell her the true at school oh well if we loss our friendship but I guess I do needto tell her... thanks for your help
Comment on kaka67's post
I guess I should even though I love him

Cat1864
Oct 6, 2010, 04:52 AM
Please do not use all caps. It is against site rules and can result in your post being deleted and/or your thread closed.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_faq_rules

You definitely need to talk to him and let him know how you feel. It is not okay for him to verbally abuse you to look more manly to his cousin or anyone else.

If he doesn't stop after you tell how you feel, then you need to think about how his words and actions are not showing that he loves you no matter how much he says he does.

Hopefully, he will decide that treating you thye way you deserve is better than trying to make points with his cousin. Good Luck.

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 6, 2010, 10:08 AM
Comment on Cat1864's post

Yea you right ima talk to him an if he ont change his ways ima just say ITS OVER because I need someboy that loves me by being nice not a dum azz

i feel dirty!!!!! what should i do?
Yesterday my boyfriend was at my house an him and his cousin were talking about what girls they ha sleep with and my boyfriend told his cousin about the day we did it... I feel durty because if he told his cousin maybe he told some other people even though he said he has just told his cousin and that's it... should I beliee him or what? All I know that when his cousin lookes at me I can't face him because I feel maybe he thinks that I'm a easy girl but I'm not it was a thing that just happened... *** *** help me

smoothy
Oct 6, 2010, 10:19 AM
First off, leave him. If the boy (and he IS a boy emotionally) respected you at all he wouldn't be talking about what you do together to anyone else... period. Guys don't give play by play naratives to their BOYZ... about what they do with their girlfriends in bed if they are more than a booty call.

I would NEVER talk to my friends about what I do with my wife... and I wouldn't even THINK about it, much less do it.

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 6, 2010, 11:14 AM
Comment on smoothy's post
I guess I should haaaaa... but I love him and yea he needs to keep our privacy to himself... you look ike a good husband and that's good hope you good lock on you relationship.

help me im between 2 walls not finding an exit
Well today this boy named luis is ganna come to my house supposely to talk... but I got a boyfriend what if my boyfriend out of no were comes to my house with out telling me?? Damm I really love my boyfriend but I like luis I fell like I'm between 2 walls not finding the exit... oh help me... give me an advice... Somebody *** give me an advice!!

martinizing2
Oct 6, 2010, 09:30 PM
If you care for your BF tell the other one not to come over.

Relationships should be based on honesty.

martinizing2
Oct 7, 2010, 08:33 AM
If he told his cousin with you there at the time,
I would bet he would tell anybody who'll listen.

What he did was disrespectful and inconsiderate at best.
I suggest you take a close look at your relationship and give it an overall evaluation.


Comment on smoothy's post
Smoothy is right.

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 7, 2010, 09:02 AM
Well yea I was there I even told him I imagine if you tolld your cousin maybe you told somebody else and he's like na babe I only told my cousin and that's it... I was like I guess what ever all I know is that you got a big mouth.

smoothy
Oct 7, 2010, 09:14 AM
I hope you realise he is lying to you. If he told his cousin... then he's already told others too. And how do you even begin to guess at what he tells others when you AREN'T there to hear it. I guarantee you if he talked like THAT in front of you... when you aren't there he wen't into details on how you moan, etc...

Do you REALLY want his friends thinking about that every time they see you with him?

Forgiving him or allowing that is exactly the same as accepting that treatment. I actually knew Escorts (nice name for a high class hooker) (were two longtime friends BEFORE I found out about it) who wouldn't tolerate that behaviour from a customer much less from anyone that claims to be a friend much less a boyfriend.

Seriously... I hope you never let him take nude photos of you, and that you didn't give him any, because if you have he's been showing them around.

I think you are better than how you are allowing yourself to be treated by him.

And there are some things that can't be undone... and some actions that can't be forgiven. This is one of those.

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 7, 2010, 09:25 AM
So ima leave him and because you right... and hellz na I'm not ganna send him pics of me like that or let him take some

smoothy
Oct 7, 2010, 09:47 AM
Great... no woman should EVER allow someone to treat them like that.

No man is THAT special.. or can't be replaced with someone who actually is. (The same goes for women too)

A man would does that will also cheat... and do far worse.

When you are dating people are on their best behaviour... people don't suddenly develop respect AFTER you get married... if anything people fall back to their natural behaviour. There isn't a person walking the earth that is so spectacular that you should subject yourself to being treated that poorly.

Understand that I am not saying its OK to be a primadonna either... just that no person should spend 5 minutes with someone who isn't respectful towards them. Man or Woman alike. There is ALWAYS someone else out there who WILL give you that respect.

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 7, 2010, 09:56 AM
You are surely right I'm ganna leave him at the right moment he comes in my house to visit me... I hope I find a true guey that will really ove me and not treat me like he does... Thanks you have really opened my eyes...

Fr_Chuck
Oct 7, 2010, 09:57 AM
Please stop using the comment feature to reply, that is not what it is for. Next stop using slang or text language, that is also against the rules, it makes it harder to experts to read and understand what is being said.

And of course how old are the two of you, 14 to 16 would be my guess but no older than high school, since he is bragging to people about who they have had sex with. Expect him to have told everyone, and maybe even exact details of it, ( or may make his self sound a lot better.

Next remember no matter how much you "love" him, that does not take the pain and hurt away from the way he is treating you

Fr Chuck Super Moderator

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 7, 2010, 08:24 PM
My homeboy came to my house then he suddenly we kissed... I have a boyfriend and I don't know what to do I feel bad and good at the same time but I love my boyfiend and I like my homeboy help me I don't know what should I do if I tell my boyfriend we are ganna break up and I don't want that... what should I do??

BrOkEn_StAr
Oct 8, 2010, 12:03 AM
Will you did a biiig mistake and you should ask your heart which one does he want because you have to love a true love!!

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 8, 2010, 03:59 AM
I tried already and I just can't make my choice.. I feel so bad but the good thing is that I didn't had sex with my homeboy.. all I know is that I love my boyfriend and I like my homeboy

Fr_Chuck
Oct 8, 2010, 04:05 AM
If you even have a choice, then that means you have feelings for both, I guess one, why do you have to chose, depending on how serious a relationship is, what ever happened to dating two or three people before settling dow to one alone.

I guess you said "he kissed you" would that mean you kissed him back and keep kissing a bit

BrOkEn_StAr
Oct 8, 2010, 04:07 AM
Will don't know what to do but who loves u true love? I mean which one of them?

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 8, 2010, 04:14 AM
Well yea we keeped kissing but we didn't had sex and that's important... its hard to make a choice because I care for both of them that if I tell them that I just wannna be friend their not ganna talk to me anymore so that's what stops me to make a choice

martinizing2
Oct 8, 2010, 04:23 AM
Regardless of the consequences you should always be truthful.
Every lie you tell and every time you cheat (you do not have to have sex to cheat. If you are exclusive with your boyfriend , what you did with homeboy is cheating) is setting a time bomb that will eventually blow up in your face and kill any relationship.

If you have to lie about what you do... you shouldn't be doing it.

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 8, 2010, 04:38 AM
I know and right know I feel so sad because I did wrong especially to my boyfriend know I have to tell him the true even though it hurs...

Cat1864
Oct 8, 2010, 04:44 AM
If you can't decide to be faithful to one or the other, then leave both of them behind.

Let both of the relationships go. Heal. Then when you are ready and the emotional dust has settled, find someone who embodies what you like in both the boyfriend and the homeboy.

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 8, 2010, 04:52 AM
Well the true I don't know my boyfriend is 18 and my homeboy 16... and my homeboy takes me to all my classes and my boyfriend takes me out on the weekends... they both cool but I just don't know who to choice

BrOkEn_StAr
Oct 8, 2010, 04:58 AM
Hmmm how old are you?? And maybe I can give u the right way!!

Cat1864
Oct 8, 2010, 05:34 AM
Broken_Star, please do not use chat speak. It is against site rules and can result in your post/comment being deleted.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_faq_rules

talaniman
Oct 8, 2010, 01:09 PM
After repeated warnings, your thread has been closed and any future breaking of the rules will get you deleted

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 9, 2010, 07:44 PM
I keep seen why homeboy even though I'm still with my boyfriend. Well me and my homeboy are just friends and we keep kissing and hugging. I haven't seen my boyfriend since Tuesday and I see my homeboy every day I feel so bad because what I'm doing to my boyfriend andi feel good because I have a crush on my homeboy but he says he doesn't want to have a girl because he has his reasons and he doesn't want to tell me what they are so I'm like what should I do? Should I keep flurting with why homeboy or should I let him go and be with my boyfriend? Can you please help me I'm so confuse that my head hurts so bad just thinking on my decisison and I know you will give me good advices that's why I'm asking you for you help so please help me.

Wondergirl
Oct 9, 2010, 07:53 PM
You know what you should do.

Alty
Oct 9, 2010, 07:53 PM
What's a "y homeboy"? Is he a friend?

If you want to pursue a relationship with someone else, than fist you have to break up with the guy you're seeing. It's not fair to him if you play two guys, and it's really not fair if you're just keeping the boyfriend around because this "y homeboy" isn't ready for a relationship.

If you're even thinking about dating another guy, than that's usually a clear sign that you're not that into the one you're with. Dating is fine, but not if you're in a relationship.

Choose one. You can't have both.

Alty
Oct 9, 2010, 08:04 PM
I have to ask, is this guy you're interested in the same guy in this post that you posted today?


well broken_star I have been in this problem twice and I just had to move on I found this good guy that shows me that he loves me even though this boy is getting in our relationship telling me to leave my boyfriend and be with him but its not going to happen because I'm happy with my boyfriend... well how old are you because you sound young like me I'm 16 and I act like a older person because I been in so many situations that I know how life is with a man specially the ones like your boyfriend... just move on you'll see it will be worth it...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/tell-me-what-do-514690.html post #30

If it's the same guy, is it he that wants you or you that wants him? I thought he wasn't interested in a relationship.

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 9, 2010, 08:05 PM
Well I meant my homeboy(friend). I Guess you right ima try to find a guy that has half and half of my homeboy and my boyfriend it would be great. Thanks for your help but damm its ganna be hard to leave them.

Yes Altenweg that's the guy I'm talking about and damm you really smart you know how to help people a lot you should be a counsiler.

Alty
Oct 9, 2010, 08:29 PM
Yes Altenweg thats the guy im talking about and damm you really smart you know how to help people alot you should be a counsiler.

Honestly, this question doesn't require a counselor, it just requires logic and morals. Also, the truth would be nice, if you do in fact want advice, and the sarcasm is better left behind.

Either this guy isn't interested, or he's trying to break you and your boyfriend up so he can be with you. Which one is it?

Fact is, you have a boyfriend, so this whole thing shouldn't be that hard to figure out. If you want to date someone else, become single. Voilą, problem solved. :rolleyes:

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 10, 2010, 06:29 AM
I guess ima be single and later on when I feel like I'm ready for a true boy ill start dating again.The problem is that they both aren't ganna talk to me anymore because ima say that I want to be alone with no boyfriend or a friend with benefits so that's what I'm scared off.

Fr_Chuck
Oct 10, 2010, 06:35 AM
So why the need for the "hugging and kissing" which of course often leads to more. Is it need to feel wanted or needed ?

But personally if you can do this with the "homeboy" then you don't really care for the boyfriend, and if you are keeping a boyfriend and "homeboy" knows about it,he is not much of a friend either.

Opinion, dump them both, find respect and care for yourself and how to be happy without someone else. Then find one person that will treat you correctly

DoulaLC
Oct 10, 2010, 06:49 AM
i guess ima be single and later on when i feel like im ready for a true boy ill start dating again.The problem is that they both arent ganna talk to me anymore because ima say that i wanna be alone with no boyfriend or a friend with benifits so thats what im scared off.

It is their choice whether they want to talk to you, but at least you will be free to meet someone who has most of the qualities you liked in both guys. That is what dating different people is for... to find out what you like and don't like.

Some people you might stay in contact with once in awhile, and find they can remain friends with you even though the dating bit didn't work out. Most you won't stay in contact with as they will move on and so will you. You will find that is the way life goes with all of your relationships.

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 10, 2010, 08:12 AM
You are all right I should stay singel and then find somebody else later on.I should move on and let them move on is for the best its better so I won't hurt both of them.Thanks for everything you really help me a lot know my next ste is to tell them I don't want to be with them and if they want we could be friends.

MIZZ.CASTANEDA
Oct 16, 2010, 08:01 AM
Well yesterday I was with my boyfriend and we were about to have sex but then I skweezz or hold his penus hard he said and he started blidding...
Is this normal of him or what I don't want to get an infection...
Someone please help me I'm scared... : o
He is 17 and I am 16

talaniman
Oct 16, 2010, 08:49 AM
I guess you have decided not to be single, or stay out of a "friends with benefits thing", so now you youngsters are playing with adult things without knowledge to go with it, so you don't know what your doing, and making some very painful mistakes. I highly suggest you read up and gain some knowledge, real facts, before you do something that will bite you in the butt later. Not just an infection, but disease, and PREGNANCY, that can happen with/or without BIRTH CONTROL!!

Most responsible adults here refrain from advice telling a youngster how best to have sex, so that and your disregard for following the rules and use of chat/text talk, and not even bothering to spell check,

After repeated warnings, your thread has been closed and any future breaking of the rules will get you deleted

This also applies to multiple threads which are about the same guy.