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View Full Version : Can I take my kids out of Illinois if my husband says no?


gdmom4five
Oct 4, 2010, 08:21 PM
My husband moved out of our house 2 months ago saying he didn't want to be married or a father any more. He caused me to lose my job because he would get drunk the night before I was to go to work and I would have to call in because I couldn't find childcare on weekends especially with short notice because he wouldn't get out of bed to watch the kids!
He takes the kids on weekends and now says his #1 priority is being a father. The kids cry when they have to leave with him.
He closed the bank account leaving me with no money, shut off the internet my cell phone. He blew the engine on our 2nd car leaving me without any car.
My whole family lives out of state and I want to move back there with our kids and he becomes enraged telling me he won't let me take the kids and that I can go by myself. I told him that isn't an option to leave the kids with him.
Can he hold me and the kids hostage? Pretty soon he will probably tell me I have to move. He yells at me to get a job and now is saying he will be taking the kids during the week... he works so would have someone else watch the kids while I am at home.
Please help me I feel so lost and scared.

asaria22
Oct 5, 2010, 02:54 AM
Start a paper trail that means get the cops involved as soon as possible!! As soon as the next outbreak of anger and yelling, as soon as he starts raising his voice, leave and call the cops then go back with the cops have them make a report and press charges and you keep doing it until you have enough evidence that he is out of control, so it the situation gets worse you will at least get custody of the children cause you have report after report from the cops about the anger and out of control yelling, when you go to court you can show the judge and have proof of what happened because of the police reports and this is why you should have the children and not him.

martinizing2
Oct 5, 2010, 02:54 AM
With no court order in place you have equal custody and either one of you could take the kids and leave
But that is no way to handle this.

Get an attorney as soon as you can. Now would be good and 2 months ago would have been better.
File for custody and support would be my advice, but talk to your attorney and follow theirs.

With court documents in place there is no question as to what you can and cannot do.

I wish you well

martinizing2
Oct 5, 2010, 03:01 AM
I believe it to be a better idea to show you are more able to care for the children and their needs.
Since I have been through this and won custody at a time it was uncommon for fathers do get custody, I suggest you rethink your plan.

asaria22
Oct 5, 2010, 03:29 AM
Without documents from the police its her word against his in court and she can prove she's better fit for her children with police reports and prove that he is unstable and she can then move close to her family and have a support group it's a win win

ScottGem
Oct 5, 2010, 04:14 AM
If he moved out 2 months ago why DIDN'T you file for divorce at that point? Yes you could move, but he could force you to return. So your best bet is to file for divorce immediately. I would contact a local agency for abused spouses and see what legal help they can offer.

gdmom4five
Oct 5, 2010, 10:45 AM
I thought we were going to be able to work things out so that is why I didn't file sooner. He said he needed a break but little did I know he was seeing someone else. Now he shows up whenever he wants and is sporting big hickies on his neck.
The kids and I were going to move into my parents home and have our own rooms. They would provide childcare for me while I pursued my career that I never got to have here in Illinois. Basically help me get on my feet. The kids LOVE it at my parents house, they mind well and aren't in trouble like they are with their dad here.
I am hoping to get a callback from another attorney today that charges a lot less and says she specializes in children and family divorce issues.
I just found out my husband took himself off anti depressants because he said he no longer needs it since he moved out. I still take mine and hope that does not affect my chances at custody issues.
This is so difficult because my family lives so far away, a 2 day drive time and no extra money to help me.

ScottGem
Oct 5, 2010, 03:09 PM
You should have still protected yourself while trying to work it out, but that's water over the bridge. You need an attorney to protect your rights. But its unlikely you will be allowed to move.