rosemarie28
Oct 4, 2010, 01:51 PM
At what age can a child decide which divorced parent they want to reside with?
GV70
Oct 6, 2010, 12:53 AM
18-EIGHTEEN
Myths abound in divorce court, but one of the most damaging is the notion that when a child reaches the age of 14, it is the child who can decide which parent to live with. That is not true!There is a law that says when a child is 14 years old, the judge "shall consider" the desires of the child in custody cases, but the law does not say the judge shall do what the child wants. There is a world of difference between considering someone's wishes and granting those wishes.There are many reasons judges do not automatically accept children's wishes about custody. Here are just some of them:
(1) Children can choose to live with the parent who has promised them inappropriate benefits, a new car, or no curfew for example.
(2) Children can choose to live with the parent they feel needs them. That puts the child into a parental role which is harmful. It is the parents' job to take care of the children, not vice versa.
(3) Children can choose to live with the parent they hardly know because they have a "fairytale" expectation about how wonderful that parent will be. That fantasy seldom turns into reality.
(4) Children can choose to live with the parent who has more money. If courts approved such a decision, materialism would become even worse than it already is. The law promotes the goal of putting money where the children are, not putting children where the money is.
In making custody decisions, judges consider the parents' wishes and consider the children's wishes. But every one should know that 14-year-olds do not make custody decision!
ScottGem
Oct 6, 2010, 04:11 AM
The answer is that a "child" can NEVER make that decision. As GV pointed out only a court can decide custody. Until a person has reached adulthood (18) that cannot make that decision. Laws in different areas put varying amounts of weight on the child's preference as they grow older, but the court still makes the decision based on the best interests of the child.
If a child desires to change the custodial parent the non custodial parent has to petition the court having jurisdiction in the matter for a modification of the custody order. The court will then weigh the factors and make a decision.