I love my ex a whole lot, and I want nothing more than to have him back, but I kissed this guy at a bar, I was drunk and stupid and have apologized a million times. He says that's not why he broke up with me but he also says that that IS why he won't get back together with me I have tried everything I can think if to change his mind but nothing works what should I do?

You need to realize that you made a mistake and move on.

You cannot change his mind, only he can do that. Yes, you were drunk, but many people believe that the "real" personality comes out when a person is drunk. So, he may be afraid you will cheat on him again.

Just leave him alone, he may or may not change his mind, but the more you chase him, the more you push him away.

Time to move on and learn what you did wrong in this relationship so that it does not happen again.

i love my ex a whole lot, and i want nothing more than to have him back, but i kissed this guy at a bar, i was drunk and stupid and have apologized a million times. he says thats not why he broke up with me but he also says that that IS why he wont get back together with me i have tried everything i can think if to change his mind but nothing works what should i do?
I'm a guy and to be honest I agree with him. You broke a level of trust. He can't trust you again. That's probably why he won't take you back. Gettng drunk and acting stupid or saying something stupid is one thing. Acting on it, even using alcohol as an excuse, is another.

There's really nothing you can do. You can't make someone want you back. You didn't elaborate too much on what caused your breakup ; you only spoke of an incident that happened after the fact and that appeared to contribute to his reluctance to get back together with you. Frankly, I'd forget this one and move on. Get on with your life and meet and date new people. It sounds like you and he just aren't compatible.

i love my ex a whole lot, and i want nothing more than to have him back, but i kissed this guy at a bar, i was drunk and stupid and have apologized a million times. he says thats not why he broke up with me but he also says that that IS why he wont get back together with me i have tried everything i can think if to change his mind but nothing works what should i do?
If he doesn't want t get back together, the best advice is o move on. But if you really do want to try, then here's what I'd suggest:

It'll take time, but become friends with him. Don't flirt, unless its jokingly, definatelt don't try anything physical, and just have a good time. Show him why he wanted to date you in the first place. Fe fun, easygoing, etc.. And maybe he'll eventually see that he misses you.

Desperation is never attractive. Has a guy ever done that to you? Wanted to go out when you just wern interested? If he has you'll know that its annoying, and very unattractive. Look at it from his point of view.