View Full Version : I need as much information as I can get on relinquishing my daughter's father's right
protkmom
Oct 3, 2010, 03:08 PM
I need as much information as I can get on getting my daughter's father's right relinquished. He was very abusive to me the entire pregnancy. He also near the end of my pregnancy confessed to allowing a 5 year old girl play with his penis and became obsessed with trying to force me to sexually role play him being the father and me being the daughter having sex. This is very DISTURBING and DISGUSTING! I will not allow him anywhere near her. I have kept him away from us for 14months through that time he has stalked, harassed, and threatened me. Unfortunately the pedophile issues are only my word against his. The abuse I had police called three different instances and not once was he ever arrested. Which only made him feel more powerful and get more violent. I have police reports and court documents that prove his abuse to me and other women but the pedophile things like I said are my word against his. I want a polygraph test done I am willing it is very doubtful he will be but I want everyone to understand the urgency and importance of people being aware he is a pedophile and to understand this is the BIGGEST reason I cannot allow him near my daughter. I also want drug testing done because he is an addict, I myself am willing to take drug test willing to do whatever it takes to protect my family. I have moved hundreds of miles away because he terrifies me. But moving cannot fix the problem permanently and I have to keep her protected if something ever happens to me. Her safety is more important to me then a paycheck. He has also posted a public bashing site titled deadbeat-Moms on face book, from what I understand he is trying to get as many people to support him so that he has more power to see her it is frightening that people are supporting him even though they have no idea who he really is. Would people truly be supporting him if there was proof that he IS a pedophile? I need help and I have very little money. I am unemployed and going to school, but I cannot keep putting this off only because I have no money.
ScottGem
Oct 3, 2010, 03:51 PM
First, There is a sticky note at the top of this forum that gives you a lot of information about terminating parental rights. You can find it here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/signing-over-rights-read-first-116098.html
It's a good idea to try browsing around before posting to see if there are similar threads.
Second, you can just about forget getting his rights terminated. It is highly unlikely a court will grant that request unless you can prove the pedophile charges.
The fact that you ran away from him, especially if you did not let him know may work against you. Without court approval you have no right to do so. You claim he stalked and harassed you, but I think the court will see that as trying to get rights to his child.
A polygraph is useless since it won't be admissible in court.
Right now the best you can hope for is supervised visits and his record of drug use and domestic violence should get that.
The thing you have left out here is what has happened in court to this point. Is he on the birth certificate? Has he been declared the legal father by a court. Has he applied to a court for custody?
Fr_Chuck
Oct 3, 2010, 04:00 PM
Yes, sorry but everything you did can come back to haunt you.
If you can not prove it in court, it did not happen to the court.
So unless you can prove his suggestions about a child it never happened. Next his wanting to role play with you, is not a crime, and having or wanting his wife to play strange things is not a reason either ( to the court)
Abuse, unless there was proof that he DID IT, not merely your reporting him. And since he was never arrested I will assume there is no proof that happenend either.
So to the court it could be more you telling stories on him and reporting him for thigs that were not happening. ( sorry but that is what the court may see)
Next you moved away, he could even file in court and try and force you to move back or to return the child,
And even if you could PROVE everything above, you would not get his rights taken away, you would get his visits restricted to supervised.
At this he could go to court and try and show you took child away to hide the child from him, and that you are going to try and turn the child away from the father.
So your best course of action is to get the best attorney you can. And the other is to hope that he does not do the same.
protkmom
Oct 3, 2010, 04:44 PM
Even a polygraph test stating these things as true will not stand in court?
protkmom
Oct 3, 2010, 04:57 PM
These two answer are very unfortunate. These two answers are why mothers in my situation feel like there is no help. We cannot ourselves protect our family because that would be against the "law" yet a man can be abusive and a pedophile and as long as he knows how to get around the law he will never have to pay. These two answers are why he has gotten away with all the things he has gotten away with. These two answers are why every time he did something awful to me he said there was nothing I could do about it! These two answers are why he would say he is invincible and ask me what it is like living with a god. Sad the court system builds arrogance and power in a dangerous man rather then protecting the people! Thank you for your answer!
ScottGem
Oct 3, 2010, 06:03 PM
These two answers reflect the reality of the law. I have to remind you that you CHOSE to have sex with this man. Apparently his drug history didn't bother you enough to stay out of his bed. Or his abusive nature didn't stop you from entering into a relationship with him. The time to protect your family was before you had sex with him.
I notice also that you didn't answer our questions. I do sympathize with you but the fact remains that you made this bed and now you have to deal with the consequences.
Fr_Chuck
Oct 3, 2010, 06:41 PM
Yes, if you want people to feel sorry for you, post in the relationship area. You are asking about this from a legal standpoint. And it works both ways for men or women, if this was the man wanting to keep mother from child, because she is a hooker, if she uses drugs and beats her dog, it works the same way, Evidence has to be proved in court, your word alone sounds like a hateful wife and is not normally believed any more than his word would be.
If you don't work in court with the courts, you will not have any real rights.
Next after that polygraph is not accepted as a fact by the court, it may be used in come civil action, and you could try, but it is why you don't see it in criminal court, the results of a polygraph is not correct 100 percent, I have seen all sorts of failure
protkmom
Oct 3, 2010, 06:48 PM
He is declared the legal father. He has not applied in court. I did see the threads above thank you for informing me...
protkmom
Oct 3, 2010, 06:50 PM
I admit to my faults but my child should not have to pay for them with her life. There is the moment when a person wakes up and realizes the things she has allowed in her families life and chooses to make a change for the better.
protkmom
Oct 3, 2010, 06:53 PM
I came on here to ask for help not be condemned by a man who views himself as perfect.
ScottGem
Oct 3, 2010, 07:31 PM
You are using the comments feature inappropriately so they have all been removed. This site does not permit personal attack.
Neither Chuck nor I have been arrogant, nor do I think I am perfect. You asked a legal question and you got accurate answers according to the law. We tried to help you by letting you see how the law looks at these things. I understand your frustration, but complaining about your plight (which is what you are doing) doesn't change the law. If you think you can prove to a court that he is a danger to your child then do so. You still haven't given us any info about what has happened legally at this point. Whether you believe it or not we ARE trying to help by letting you know what the law is and how courts will look at the situation.
Attacking us because we aren't telling you what you want to hear is not going to help you.
protkmom
Oct 4, 2010, 06:14 AM
Thank you for all of your imput but I have contacted two REAL lawyers and spoke with a polygraph expert who informed me the two of you are incorrect on your information. I DO have a case, I Do have every right to get his parental rights taken.
protkmom
Oct 4, 2010, 06:34 AM
Thank you for your answers! Two REAL Lawyers finally got back to me and a polygraph expert. Your information is inaccurate. I was informed I DO have a case, and that certain circumstances allow polygraph testing to be used. Your answer were unhelpful but most of all inaccurate. So people need to be aware not to take your advice as fact and to seek answers from REAL family law LAWYERS. I have enough evidence to prove my case even without a polygraph to prove he is a pedophile. Bashing my character for being with him was also unnecessary of you and was considered poor character on your part for that, when in court it truly would have no effect on my case if he is a danger to children.
protkmom
Oct 4, 2010, 06:52 AM
I apologize for all the inconvenience. My issue has been resolved without a fight. Or at least it would appear that way currently. He has chose not to fight against me and willing to relinquish rights allowing him not to pay child support.
ScottGem
Oct 4, 2010, 03:25 PM
Thank you for your answers! Two REAL Lawyers finally got back to me and a polygraph expert. Your information is inaccurate. I was informed I DO have a case, and that certain circumstances allow polygraph testing to be used. Your answer were unhelpful but most of all inaccurate. So people need to be aware not to take your advice as fact and to seek answers from REAL family law LAWYERS. I have enough evidence to prove my case even without a polygraph to prove he is a pedophile. Bashing my character for being with him was also unnecessary of you and was considered poor character on your part for that, when in court it truly would have no effect on my case if he is a danger to children.
No, my information is NOT inaccurate. There are very limited circumstances where you can obtain a TPR. They are listed in the Sticky note I linked you to. You may indeed have enough evidence, but there is no way for us to know that, the likelihood is that you won't be able to get a TPR and I stand by that advice.
Nor did I say at any time that I was a lawyer. But one does not have to be a attorney to know the law. And I was not bashing your character, I was simply stating the facts as YOU presented them. I was telling you how a court will look at the facts.
I hope you do have a good attorney and I hope you do protect your daughter. But I do have doubts about how successful you will be in prosecuting this based on the facts as you have presented them to us. Maybe you told your attorney a different story or maybe you gave more facts. I don't know, but I do know that the information I have posted in response to your post IS accurate and reflects the reality of the law.
protkmom : I apologize for all the inconvenience. My issue has been resolved without a fight. Or at least it would appear that way currently. He has chose not to fight against me and willing to relinquish rights allowing him not to pay child support.
Sorry it doesn't work that way either. No court is going to issue a TPR to let the parent out of paying support. It also depends on where you are. Some areas do allow for termination of both rights and responsibilities. Others only allow for termination of rights and not responsibility (i.e. paying support).
However, on the issue of polygraphs I was inaccurate. Within the last 10 years there have been changes in this. See http://www.justice.gov/usao/eousa/foia_reading_room/usam/title9/crm00262.htm. It is still very limited and the courts you have to deal with may still not allow it. Without knowing what jurisdiction you are in I can't tell.