2 years ago Some guys in my school took my friends ball
So I just took him down and he Went to his friends ------> end of the day I got jumped by 10 people, I couldn't back down it was like my pride was going to be taken, My friends looked up to me as a brave guy who would never back down , not one of my friends helped me that day I know that they were bigger and stronger than them but still, it hurt when I saw the bag I left with my friend left by the side of the bus stop

3 years later I can't go back to that school I have quit and did home school, I feel ashamed that I'm not a strong man
I could never get these guys back there's too many of them I just feel like ****

Evry day I play PC games and drink energy drinks but they don't get me my high anymore I can't block out this pain
I'm 16 soon and I have another year of nothing

I feel like if I went back to the school evryone would know its because the guys in the upper year that beat me up had left
And I would be only going because of that

I'm not going to cry about this because I just can't right now in my life I want to be strong

I just want to know 2 things

What I can do to move on from it ?
What I can do to move up from where I am now ?

WHAT? You stay home because 10 guys beat you up? How is that something to be ashamed of? Go back. Where the heck are your friends, especially the one who you got into this for? (Which was not a good thing to do over a stupid ball.) You need to stop taking every action in life with such huge reactions - beating up the guy who took the ball, hiding from the world because you got beat up. GO BACK TO SCHOOL, let any remarks the first week roll off your back with a shrug, and everyone will forget about it. Most probably already have.
Being strong has nothing to do with fighting. Study a martial art where they will teach you all about that.

You were very brave to take on 10 guys,even if it was very dangerous and idiotic,as you could have got seriously injured.

Your male ego,your pride has taken a blow,but I'm sorry to say it won't be he first time in your life that it will happen.

Your learning to be a good man,a strong man.

Strong does not mean to have to beat someone up,strong is knowing your bounderies,stepping up to the plate when you need too,being a good friend,a hard worker,a good son,and some day a good husband and father.

There is courage inside you,you took on 10 guys,the courage is there to go back,with your head held high.

Over coming this requires you to go back.

Going back to school will break the taboo you have built up in your mind.I can guarantee you there have been many incidents since that time,your old news now.

Isolation was made the problem bigger then it is,talking about it with your parents,a meeting with your teachers and school councillor can give you the support you need.

Asking for help is strong,its brave and it's the only way out of the thoughts keeping you inside and away from your friends.

In one years time would you still like to be where you are right now? Or looking back at it and thinking now you got over it,you can do anything.

Be brave,its in you,take a step and ask for help.

This has weighed so heavily on your mind, but remember that people will be more concerned with what is going on in their own lives than what happened in yours.

The vast majority of people at your school have likely not given it anymore thought. The ones who were a problem are gone. If someone were to say something, simply state that "Hey, I came out alright with 10 to 1." and then let it go.
More people will probably ask where you have been than say anything about what happened.

You showed courage to stand up for your friend... however, I have to agree, taking someone down over a ball is probably not your smartest move... :) No doubt in hindsight you realise that now, but I understand that at the time it seemed like a good idea and was probably more of a knee jerk reaction. You said it yourself, your pride got in the way of your common sense.

Lesson learned... about yourself, the danger of being too proud sometimes, and what is and isn't important in friendship.

Go back to school... get involved with activities you enjoy... hang out with your friends/make new friends... focus on your goals for the future.