Hi I'm a 21 years old male I'm here for help with some issues that I'm trying to deal with but don't know so please take your time to read my story and help me or give me some advice.

This is me, a straight male who had never been or slept with a man before; I have been straight for like 20 years I never had those gay thoughts or feelings. It started in FEB. 2010 I was sleeping with my best friend on small a bed, I was trying to reach for the cover and I felt his penis, honestly I don't know how it happened but I started touching his penis - when I'm done with my curiosity I went back to sleep but ever since that day when we sleep on the same bed I keep on doing the same thing.

One day I decided to tell him that I'm so confused, I told him that I had be touching him when he's asleep, he didn't get mad or say anything to hurt my feelings but he told me to control them which is hard to do. He let me snuggle, cuddle with him but when I'm trying to touch his penis he pushes my hand away sometimes, he just let it go but He don't do those things to me though; He said reason why he don't get mad at me is because he knows that I'm not really gay or bi.

Honestly people I don't want to have sex with him or suck him I just like to touch him that's all and I only have those feelings for him when I'm with other guys I'm 100% straight but when I'm with him and we are alone I keep having those feelings for him, I don't know if this a crush but I just have strong feelings for my best friend and I'm trying to change but I just don't know how.

I talked to my friend about it almost every day but he keeps telling me to relax, the feelings will go away one day and he told me not worry about having those feelings and just pray. I Love my best friend, not because he's trying to deal with me touching him but because he's a true friend no doubt about it; anyway english is not that great but I tried lol so please I'm begging y'all to read my story and help me find the true side of me. I love women by the way. Thanks

I have always said that sexuality is a continuum rather than black and white. So where do you stand on this? I would honestly put you closer to homosexual than heterosexual. That is an issue though you have to deal with.

First off. Get your own bed. Stop sleeping with your friend. Stop groping your friend. To put it simply, you're sexually assaulting him. Stop it. His patience will only go so far before you lose him as a friend.

To draw an analogy, how long do you think you would be friends with a woman if you were constantly grabbing her breasts? How long would you be out of jail? How long until you start to get a negative reputation?

The inevitable question here, the one you're all but asking, is whether you're gay. I said before that you're going to have to answer that one yourself. It looks like you're leaning towards the homosexual. It could be a number of things.

I would figure out this out before you sleep in your friends bed again. It will prevent confusion and miscommunication.

Good luck.

Well I can only thing that its one thing. Maybe your bi curious? Maybe you only do it with your friend cause you don't want anyone else to know and that if something ever happens you know that it will say between you two and that's it. It's OK to be curious.

You've posted this before and you got good advice. Perhaps you enjoy reading your own question. I don't know but please stick to one thread on the subject.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental-emotional-health/how-know-if-youre-bi-bi-curious-straight-confuse-512359.html#post2544197