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Sammy6
Sep 28, 2010, 07:18 PM
I have been with my boyfriend for going on 2 years now. And I am suddenly so very confused as to where I stand with him. We do already live together. He is extremely sensitive & emotional more so than I could ever be. His moods can be very flippant, high and low and back and forth. And as accepting as I have been of them to this point & done my best to understand and adjust there are a few things I have found extremely hurtful recently that I just can't seem to shake from my mind. He initiated the talk of the future, talking about marriage and engagements etc, and of course I was over the moon as I adore him. He stated his desire to go on holiday in December this year to get engaged and has walked me around to look at rings for the occasion. So it has been no surprises, straight to the point, however recently when he has been in a "bad mood" he has turned around twice now and said the engagement will not be happening. Then a week later its on, then again its not on. He constantly expresses his love for me in one breath, but in the next is so very distant. His changes of heart have left me hurt as it makes him appear so unsure, and leaves me fearful of being with someone who changes their mind so swiftly. I'm terrified of being hurt in the long run or hanging onto this when he appears unsure. Should I trust in this?

NathanielLaw
Sep 29, 2010, 03:26 AM
What do you think both of you'll should do is sit together and try to help understand what he says when he is in not such a good mood or even when he goes back and forth or maybe you could try some easy steps for him to change his moods like trying yoga or some therapists.

answerme_tender
Sep 29, 2010, 08:09 AM
Sammy-
This may be hard, but you need to to decide if you really want to go through the rest of your life playing the emotional roller coaster. In in any relationship, there are going to be ups and downs, but having to deal with an partner that has emotional out burst continuously is very draining. Are you willing to bring children into this, were they can witness these emotions.
Telling you that he wanted to get engaged where,when,how is pretty controlling. Oh and then when he is ticked off, he decides to take it back, sounds more like a controllig game, then real love.
Getting some counceling could help you. If he is willing then take him with, if he isn't then go yourself see what they have to say. It never hurts. I wish you luck .

talaniman
Sep 29, 2010, 10:06 AM
You have been together for two years, and are unsure of his ways and habits. Unless you feel comfortable expressing your own feelings you will never know how he feels, nor even guess. You can trust nothing based on assumptions, presumptions, fear, and insecurity without asking, or talking, and getting facts, just as he cannot know how he hurts you unless you speak up for yourself.

That's how committed couples establish the rules, and boundaries of good behavior, so they can build something through honest communications with each other. TRY IT!

wonderlife
Sep 30, 2010, 09:00 AM
It can be hard to trust him when he keeps doing this on/off and on/off to you on regular basis. This of course makes you painful the way he plays with your heart and your mind.

Can you find some appropriate time when you and him are both feel relaxing and in the normal mood to talk about these issues? Gentle tell him how you feel, how his bahaviors hurt you, and also let him express his feelings, and see how he feels. Then you will know more on his side of story and can consider what you should do next. Communication is always crucial. Hope he, at least, will want to talk or share some of his feelings with you.