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View Full Version : Can I get my kids back?


crys27
Sep 28, 2010, 04:01 PM
My kids were taken from my husband and I Feb. 16th 2007. We went through every single thing they asked of us. I even completed more than asked. My husband used to beat me up and we were both doing an illegal drug. The girls were given to my husband's mother while we went through all of this. It took us a while to stop using. I was in a program that drug tested me twice a week, then once a week, then once a month. I stayed clean through the whole process of that, except I had one drink. Drinking is NOT an issue for me, I couldn't care less and have always felt that way, but I was under contract not to. My husband was not being drug tested AT ALL, and was out in bars ALL the time and they even got reports of it and he denied it. We got divorced. After my admitting to drinking, and having to go to work release for 14 days over it, he and I just wanted to get them back as fast as possible without CSB in the picture. We got back together and signed the girls over to her in Aug 2008. I got pregnant that same month. I told my OBGYN that I was in recovery and I did NOT want any narcotics. Well, I was in a lot of pain, later to find that my uterus was tearing and my pelvis is offset from being pregnant. Anyway, I was given pain killers and was on them for a few months. He took some of then as well and before we knew it, it was a problem. I had the baby and she was fine and she is now 18 months old and we are NOT taking anything at all anymore. It has been over a year and a half for us clean. We got the girls almost everyday over the summer. We are both working and we have custody of the newest baby girl, she was never taken, but CSB was called. We are both working great jobs and get the girls every weekend because the oldest is not in kindergarten. I know we are ready for them to come home and I have asked his mother. All we have to do is file for them and she can sign a waiver, but it is ultimitly up to a judge... but what are my chances?? ///

Jake2008
Sep 29, 2010, 04:24 AM
Good for you for turning your life around, and having success with being stable, clean and sober, and employed.

Also, it is good you've had so much contact with your children. For all of you.

I would think that because your mother in law has custody, it was a legal requirement and process, for that to happen. This would have been based on the circumstances at the time.

Your best bet is to see a lawyer to regain custody. I would imagine that will likely be a long process as they will need to evaluate your situation now.

Even a visit for a consultation with a lawyer would give you some idea of what you need to do, and what you can expect in this process.

The legal wranglings are confusing at the best of times, my advice to you is get all the facts, and then start the process.

mrshodges
Sep 29, 2010, 07:53 AM
Just a quick question, It seems like your husband has not put in a lot of effort and I am concerned there might still be a problem given the opportunity. Are you both still seeking help with your addictions? Maybe regular NA meetings or counseling?

crys27
Oct 4, 2010, 04:23 PM
Actually, he did complete the things he was required to, and he was drug tested maybe 4-5 times in that year and they were all clean. Our CSB case worker was HIS biggest cheerleader, I think because HIS mom had/has the girls. I am VERY proud of how he turned from all of this. The drug use got bad for him because his best friend died right in front of him, and for me because I was with him. When I asked his mom to get them back she said we have been doing good and that after doing good for a while, we have the tendency to go back the other way. This is somewhat true, but, this IS the longest we have stayed straight and not had any huge drama or fights. We actually have never even stayed together without a break up for this long. She just meant that she would hate to we get them back and then they get taken for good and placed somewhere else and No one in our family gets to see them anymore. I do understand this TOTALLY, but, I also know me and my husband and we have just grown up. I do NOT want to live in a world where I am more worried about "going out" or "kickin it" as it is also called.I just want to be the mother God intended for me to be. Or else he wouldn't have given my girls to me. When you have a child this instinct kicks I, to be the best MOTHER or FATHER you can be for her/him. Well, some people never get that and other take more time and I believe we fell into that category. I hate that about us but I am just so glad that we finally got there. We are good parents and regular American citizens and I HONESTLY think it would be a shame for our family to stay separated. It is just time to be together again! I am scared to ask his mom to give them back again, but I definitely do not want to go behind her back and file. What is the best advice you have for this situation and do you think my chances are good?