My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years comes out of the blue and says she needs a break, to figure out how she feels, and that there were some things wrong with our seemingly great relationship. Of course I figure this means its over and she's letting me down easy.

She lived 6 hours away at the time so we talked sparingly. Then of course she would call late and night and tell me she misses and loves me. We visit each other and she tells me multiple times that she wants to work things out, then changes her mind and acts like she is unsure of what she wants to do about her feelings for me.

We had to move back to school this fall into the same apartment, literally sharing a room, despite me saying it would be better if she didn't. She wants to remain friends and constantly tells me she is just going back and forth about us. I want to be with her, I love her, and of course I can't just jump into being "just friends" as fast as she can. I need my space to do that if that is truly what she wants, but at the same time she gives me signs of wanting to get back with me. Like telling me she does, then telling me she doesn't. This whole back and forth thing is frustrating for me especially and it leads to some arguments which we previously never had when we were together.

It hit a boiling point last weekend when I took her out on a date, and afterwards she said she wanted to go out to the bar with some guy that came up to our school and obviously is interested in her. I simply tell her that hurts my feelings to even joke about going to see him after I just took her out and was looking forward to spending the night with her. We argue and the next day she goes out all day with him and gets home late. She tells me she doesn't want to have to worry about what I think about what she does. (Basically she doesn't want to be committed) At this point I am doing my own thing too. I don't want to pressure her, but I feel like if it is just going to be friends then she needs to give me my space so I can get over being in a relationship with her. But at the same time, with her giving me these signs that she wants to try and work things out, I want to keep her close and try. The sexual encounters aren't making it easier either. I can't keep giving it my all if she doesn't want to do the same. How do I handle this mess of a situation?

How do you handle it?

You finish the relationship for good,in no uncertain terms and walk away.

No contact.

She wants freedom to date other guys,no commitment,she does not want a relationship with you.

Stop buying her dinner! Stop being the guy in the wings.

She says one thing,but does another,so her actions are telling you exactly what she wants.

Grab your dignity before she mushes it into the ground and walk away for good!

No confusion then.

It sounds like she does not want to let you down easy.
She wants to torture you for a while then rip your heart out.

Which usually includes pride, self respect, and dignity.
She wants the big three.

Stop being around her.
Stop all communication . No Contact.
No calls, no notes, no texts, no Facebook, no ASL, no smoke signals, if you see her pretend to be blind and deaf.

You will need to do this to start working on yourself and healing from the loss, grief, and pain that breakups cause.

It is a difficult, long, painful process. I know.
But as Red said, you can at least keep your dignity intact.

There will always be help available here.

Be confident in yourself and strong in dealing with this.
You'll make it through.

I wish you well

You handle situation by taking the dice out of her hands. These are you feelings, you life that she is playing a game with. Its obvious that you don't like being played,so why are you allowing it. No one can continue to treat us like something they stepped in unless we give them that freedom.
Move out and get a different place to live. Hang out with YOUR friends, or make some new ones. Learn from this experience, let no one treat you with less respect then what you would treat them. Good luck

I may have misworded, but she isn't sleeping around with other guys or anything. She sleeps with me, which makes it hard. She just wants to have her freedom too. But in any case... I think I do need to draw a line in the sand, and have her move out.

Well, she can't have it both ways. Sleeping with you while she's out looking for someone new for some excitement! Come on. Give her what she wants and needs. Freedom. Do the same for you. No contact

Yup.

Forget the encounters.
She's using you now. It isn't love, or out of the blue.

Like reded35, says, grab your dignity.
Before you become the fool.

NC, my man. The only way.




Take some time to read the stickies here if you haven't already.

You need to change living, and sleeping arrangements.