Hi all,

I am new in this community but I am in a big trouble. I am in love with a girl from last five years. In the beginning we were friends but soon I fall in love with her. When I told her about it she rejected me for this kind of feelings. She doesn't believe in love kind of thing. She only cares me as a friend. In this mean time I tried my best to forget her but I can't. Today I am her one of the best friend and we talk excessively but according to her we are only friends. Now I am unable to think about any other girl and can't live without talking her but she always says that one day we have to stop talking. Whenever this things come in my mind that one day she will leave me than the only option which comes in my mind is suicide. She also know this thing very well so she continue to talk me but only as a friend. Now I am unable to understand that how to forget her. I have tried many times that I will not talk her but I can't live without talking her. I want to marry with her but she don't want it. Please help me...

How old are you?

You need to stop telling yourself that she’s “the only one”, that you're madly in love her, how you can't live without her, how sad/unfair it is that she isn't in love with you, how you'll never get over her, and so on. By obsessing on those phrases and others like them, you're locking yourself into this seemingly inescapable whirlpool of feelings. Until you break this cycle you will continue to be miserable.

I know you don't want to hear this, but the only way you can get over her is to go complete no contact and start keeping busy with other friends and family and activities that don't involve her.

If you truly feel suicidal, then you need to talk to a family member or another close friend and then consider getting counseling.

You deserve and will find another girl that will love you the way you love this one.

I bet if you stop wasting your time by talking to her completely, and get a life without her, you will be to busy seeing that life can be a very fun place for a single guy who can see other options, and opportunities, and the freedom to enjoy them.

Then suicide would NOT be your only option. Find a female who wants what you want. And stop being stuck on just one. Believe it or not, as you get out in the world, there are many who would fit the bill better than she would have. So stop being lazy and go find one, or two why don't you.

Thanks Devorameira...
I am 25 year old. I have tried many times that I'll not contact her but If I do this than every time I only think about her and unable to concentrate on any work. The happiness which I get with her, can't find with others that's why I used to talk with her. I am unable to accept this thing that there is no future of this relationship. Please suggest me what should I do. Its very difficult to forget her.

Read the stickies (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/), they will give you some very good ideas, and tips for moving on, and will also let you know that all of us humans, both male, and female go through this process of coping with our losses of a loved one, through grieving and healing.

It's a very hard time in our lives for sure, but learning to cope with your feelings, and find your own happiness, is an essential part of life. Just read some of the other stories on this forum, and you see that many have trouble with coping with their feelings of loss, and rejection, so you are with all the rest of us, and are hardly alone in your emotional pain.

It's a painful life lesson, and trust me there are many yet to come, but they are but temporary speed bumps in the journey we call life.

Thanks dear for your such a encouraging reply... Let me try this.. She want friendship relation between us. Should I continue with this or I should keep no contact with her. She is OK with this also. Waiting 4 your reply...

Rajk5179 : Thanks talaniman... but from last five years I didn't think about any other girl and I am unable to think about other girls. How can I think about other girls as I have no feelings for other...
Leave this one alone and get a real life that you enjoy without her, starting with something thats not about girls because you are not ready for a romantic relationship, and won't be for a while, but friends, male and female will be just fine. You are looking for love the wrong ways and in the wrong place, and this whatever you have with this female ain't never going to work so why waste 5 more years of your life for someone that only has time for you when she has nothing else to do? Thats crazy.

Rajk5179 : Thanks dear for your such a encouraging reply... Let me try this.. She want friendship relation between us. Should I continue with this or I should keep no contact with her. She is OK with this also. Waiting 4 your reply...
You disappear from her life so you can devote time and energy on things that help you get a life without her. You need that more than you need her friendship. You sound like a junkie wanting his dope, and I think you are better than that. Now read those stickies, and gain some enlightenment, and no more talk of her at all.

Why she is going to leave you??
Why she is threatening you?!
I learned something from life is to let her go
Don't answer her phone and try to avoid meeting her
Get yourself busy in a work or a hoppy
Get involved with some other friends
It will be difficult in the beginning but eventually you ll be able to forget her
Believe me this is better than when she will leave you
You will get so devastated
And who knows when you decide to leave her and not talk to her
She might seriously think about you
Sometimes , we love someone and we never know till he leaves

Hey dear..
This same prob I'm facing now. I've fallen in love with ma best friend. He also thinks that 'WE R BETTER THAN BEST FRIENDS ND WE ALWAYS WILL' bt nt lovers... ;-(