number 1 for me would be to work out your part in why the breakup happened so that you do not repeat the same pattern in the future.

Yeah... that's a good one rol, sorry could not rate you as I have to spread the rep first but totally agree...

number 1 for me would be to work out your part in why the breakup happened so that you do not repeat the same pattern in the future.
Not so fast here. Self-blame is never good or healthy. If an ex is actually kind and honest enough to give you some constructive criticism, that's one thing. But this rarely happens. It usually boils down to the central idea of misplaced priorities, of making someone too big a part of your life too soon. Let's face it ; no ex is ever going to tell someone "you made me too big a part of your life too soon. I never had to pursue you, you weren't enough of a challenge for me. You were too much of a wuss ; too much of a 'nice guy.'" The remedy for that isn't a lot of self-blame but simly a rearranging of one's priorities, often coupled with a boost to one's self-esteem.

number 1 for me would be to work out your part in why the breakup happened so that you do not repeat the same pattern in the future.

Sometimes it was not your fault at all...

I think that even whether you had were at fault there is still reason for reflection and analysis. Its how we learn and grow!!

This is great. I hope lots of young people see this. When it happens to them they often think it's the end of the world. All they need are some guidelines and here they are. Great work, wontbez!

I have a male and female cockatile they laid their first egg 28 days ago. They still have not hatched and you can see the dark spots and the pink veins and the crack they made to try ot get out. Awwwwww this is so sad. Should I take them out and throw them away??

It would be a good idea to ask that question in a new post. You will get way more answers than just asking it here.

I'm doing some practical about transactin entry,when I enter informatin in to pay bill,the system always remind me :account is not in the list. But when I opening the company,I have been enter all account in the chart of account.
Looking forward your reply,thanks

It would be a good idea to ask that question in a new post. You will get way more answers than just asking it here.

Ooh, this seems relevant to this other poster too! :D

Well that's great u wrote " in a blue 100 page spiral" haha. Yea I just found this list.. thought it very nice.. very useful!

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Put a number between you and your ex and they soon get forgotten

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Put a number between you and your ex and they soon get forgotten

Not sure I understand what you mean by number.

A number means a person. So if you have been going out with someone, you break up and are not going to get back with them. Sleep with someone else and then the person you had the relationship with is not the last person you sleep with, so it puts a distance between you and them. It's a mental thing, it works for me, but is not for everyone.

A number means a person. So if you have been going out with someone, you break up and are not going to get back with them. Sleep with someone else and then the person you had the relationship with is not the last person you sleep with, so it puts a distance between you and them. It's a mental thing, it works for me, but is not for everyone.

It's a mental mess that just digs a deeper hole... it really doesn't help anything if your prior relationship was more than sex and more emotional. I don't see how this solves anything... but whatever floats your boat... Sex has never been the solution to any problem if I can recall.

What about the one you use to get over the ex?

May not work for everyone but try going out with a new person, helped prove to myself I can have fun with a someone else and it also bothered my ex for some reason(not the reason I did it though)

Any good post-break up song recommendations for running or for listening to when I'm feeling down? I'm thinking cheesy independence anthems like Journey "Don't Stop Believing" and Natasha Bedingfield "Unwritten."

Themes being positivity, independence, freedom, etc.

I've been wallowing for some time. So tired of it. Thanks for the advice.

Any good post-break up song recommendations for running or for listening to when I'm feeling down?

Found a new one recently (older song actually)...


Don't tell me what to think.
Cause I don't care this time.
Don't tell me what you believe,
Cause you wont be there
To catch me when I fall.
But you'll need me
when I'm not here at all.
....
Don't tell me how life is,
Cause I don't really wanna know.
Don't tell me how this game ends,
Cause we'll just see how it goes.


3 Doors Down - Going Down in Flames

the frist thing i did was BURN ALL OF HIS STUFF THAT I HAD. pictures, and some clothes. it helped out a lot

that was my own little closure and now I'm dating this amazing guy who is a heck of a lot better than my x could ever be:D

Feel free to add to this list.


1. Volunteer
2. Take a class in something you're interested in
3. Learn a foreign language
4. Read a book on the best seller chart
5. Take up a sport (with friends is best) like Bowling or Golf
6. Call old friends and family members
7. Play some video games
8. Watch some movies
9. Join a gym
10. Learn how to speed read (good software is rocket reader)
11. Learn how to cook
12. Get a library card
13. Start a new savings account and make a bet with yourself on how much you can save
14. Take on a new project at work
15. Update your resume
16. Buy some new clothes
17. Buy that CD you've always wanted
18. Change the layout of your furniture
19. Go for walks
20. Answer questions on this website
Sometimes when you are so in love with that person you freeze, you feel like you can't move on nor backwards, your just stuck in a moment that was never meant to be, caught in the middle!! So this list may not work for some people!

sometimes when u r so in love with that person u freeze, u feel like u can't move on nor backwards, ur just stuck in a moment that was never meant to be, caught in the middle !!! so this list may not work for some ppl!

This list is designed to break you out of that feeling exactly. When you get stuck in that feeling, like you can't get out, and you can't stop thinking about them, performing some of the actions on this list will bring you out of that mode and help you see that there is happiness without them.

so this list may not work for some people!
It will work for those that work it, and has.

the frist thing i did was BURN ALL OF HIS STUFF THAT I HAD. pictures, and some clothes. it helped out a lot

So she's allowed to burn all her stuff but I have to give it all back to her?

Wheres my payment for pain and suffering, let alone the money she owes to my father for moving her down here (ive already paid my half!! )

-grunts in disgust-
-Sik

exercise is a really, really good stress releaser in my opinion.

I've also been thinking about learning to play the guitar. I've always wanted to and since I'm currently going through an awful breakup, would be nice to try something totally new!

Go for it man, great way to keep busy. Warning though, it is frustrating in the beginning, but totally worth it.

Feel free to add to this list.


1. Volunteer
2. Take a class in something you're interested in
3. Learn a foreign language
4. Read a book on the best seller chart
5. Take up a sport (with friends is best) like Bowling or Golf
6. Call old friends and family members
7. Play some video games
8. Watch some movies
9. Join a gym
10. Learn how to speed read (good software is rocket reader)
11. Learn how to cook
12. Get a library card
13. Start a new savings account and make a bet with yourself on how much you can save
14. Take on a new project at work
15. Update your resume
16. Buy some new clothes
17. Buy that CD you've always wanted
18. Change the layout of your furniture
19. Go for walks
20. Answer questions on this website
Go a complete stranger!

I didn't read all, but join AMHD!:)

I've put this on almost all my posts so I think I might as well put it here too. I reflect on what the Desiderata says. It has an amazing message an plan on how you should live life and treat others.

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

Make sure you take the lessons you learned from that relationship and go forth into the world with a newer (positive) outlook on life. Apply those lessons and walk with confidence and peace.
Move on knowing that you WILL feel better, that you WILL find an even better partner, that you ARE blessed. Don't let life get you down- it's I gift given to us daily. It is here to be cherished, embraced, loved and lived to its utmost potential! Remember- "With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." tomorrow will be a better day! :)

-Drew

What does it mean if your ex is talking to you again?

What does it mean if your ex is talking to you again?

It can honestly mean nothing. They can be feeling lonely or miss you, not necessarily looking to get back together.

I would prefer it if you didn't proceed at all (unless you are over him/her).

Proceed with caution,
J

Prepare a plan to kill yer ex :D

^^ LOL just kidding... see this is how funny you shd be after the break off

Move on - find someone better - enjoy



Hehe wish it were that easy :)

being a hornist, I say play the Horn! ha!

but seriously, music is an amazing outlet. I would say take up the guitar. It's a common instrument, relatively easy, relatively inexpensive, and there's a huge repertoire of music to choose from.

Lol dude when I first read your name, I thought a hornist is someoen that is horny lol >_< that was embarrassing XD

Aaah thanks this is helping me sooo much

go bungee jumping..it will throw out your past and make you fresh for a new start!!!:)

With straps or without? O_O

Cry... I've found crying to be the best of medicine for anything... so yea... just sit and cry... THEN GO AND PARTY WITH SOME FRIENDS AND HAVE SOME LAUGHS!!!! ^.^ always helps!!!

What if I can't cry? I've literally sat down and played country, YES country, you know, jump off a 10 story building music! I think I cried the day before we broke up, but not since then. I have a hard time doing it un-intoxicated! HAHA! I am really having a tough time with this one, but crying isn't coming when I need it to :(

What if I can't cry? I've literally sat down and played country, YES country, you know, jump off a 10 story building music! I think I cried the day before we broke up, but not since then. I have a hard time doind it un-intoxicated! HAHA! I am really havin a tough time with this one, but crying isn't coming when I need it to :(

Actually laughter is the best medicine, crying just lets everything out. =P

Number 28 is the best advice. After breaking up with my boyfriend of years I wrote him a 13 page letter I never mailed it but just writing it was the best closer.

Take time to heal but don't waste time missing out on the chance to make new friends. I've been feeling really sorry and sad for myself these past few weeks and a bit worthless, so today when I signed on to a dating site and said I was looking for friendship, I was amazed that someone with a great looking face and decent profile who is 10 years younger than me wrote:

You are 1 very attractive lady, and for a woman of 49 even more so. Would love to see that smile in person.

Boy, did he make my day :)))

We seem to be on the same wavelength. Add to that, not to look back. It's over for a reason... it's not what you wanted and you knew it wasn't good for you. The nice bits were lovely, but that was for a time and yet you always knew it was never going to sustain you for the long haul. Your present is what you live for and your future.

I dated this man for 2years our relationship was OK with the expectations of his so called friend girls he always said they were just friends and nothing else I found that was a lie he also said he did not want a relationship that he was a loner. With that information in hand I moved on with life and got married to another man.I wanted commitment something he said he didn't want. Now that I'm married, moved on with my life he keeps calling me asking why I haven't call him saying how much he misses me. What is it with these men, after moving on with my life he want let go. I don't lead him on as if I want anything further to do with him. I never call him he always call or text me. Where is all these so call friend ladies he has? He's a pain in the . What can say to him so he'll get the message.

He isn't good for you or your marriage, so you need tell him in no uncertain terms to 'go away'... or your husband has to. Either that or block his emails and texts so he can't reach you anymore.

My guess is his relationships with other women were superficial to cover his insecurities or if they were like you, figured him out to be a player as well. He's lonely and is reaching out to you for solace.. or as a fallback for when he's feeling insecure with another woman. He has to figure out where he went wrong on his own, and part of that is leaving you alone to get on with your life with your husband.

[QUOTE=elf5905;1767316]I dated this man for 2years our relationship was OK with the expectations of his so called friend girls he always said they were just friends and nothing else I found that was a lie he also said he did not want a relationship that he was a loner. With that information in hand I moved on with life and got married to another man.I wanted commitment something he said he didn't want. Now that I'm married, moved on with my life he keeps calling me asking why I haven't call him saying how much he misses me and he knows Iam married. What is it with these men, after moving on with my life he still want let go. I don't lead him on as if I want anything further to do with him. I never call him he always call or text me. Where is all these so call friend ladies he has? He's a pain in the . What can say to him so he'll get the message.

He isn't good for you or your marriage, so you need tell him in no uncertain terms to 'go away'...or your husband has to. Either that or block his emails and texts so he can't reach you anymore.

My guess is his relationships with other women were superficial to cover his insecurities or if they were like you, figured him out to be a player as well. He's lonely and is reaching out to you for solace.. or as a fallback for when he's feeling insecure with another woman. He has to figure out where he went wrong on his own, and part of that is leaving you alone to get on with your life with your husband.

:)THANK YOU I'M NEW ON SITE HOPE I'M REPLYING RIGHT :)

Thank You are absolutely right he knows I am married I told my husband about him calling he did say to let him know when he calls be again I'm doing just that because he's pain in the butt.

Most people can be very devastated,but you should try my teqniche, I'm wuite young but I've had my heart broken before when I was with this chinease girl but instead of doing all of that, I thought to myself f*** it its over it isn't my problem anymore , I just stood the hell up and moved on, I don't know about you but if you have the mind that sais, I don't need anybody but me, like be an independent person but still have a lot of mates, then you get over stuff so fast, I'm not a loner but I just know how to cope on my own, just say to yourself I don't need anybody but me, me is responsible for moving on so lets just move the hell on right away.

number 28 is the best advice. After breaking up with my boyfriend of years I wrote him a 13 page letter I never mailed it but just writing it was the best closer.

I did that too when I was first dumped 16 years ago. Though I did not write 13 page letter but wrote about 5 letters in a notebook not to be posted. That was my own idea and it helped me to ease my pain a lot.

After a break it is going to be rough very rough I also just got out of a long relationship and thought I would never be able to get over it.Honestly just get over it,you will feel a lot better,just hang out with friends and meet new people eventually you will forget about it and realize your better off.

Cry as much as you want, male or female, it's OK to, just don't wallow!
That works once you get tired of crying you'll feel better

Go for a walk on the calm road,dial your best friends number and get start gossiping or cry as much as you can

some great suggestions
lets add to it

23. get closer to friends who have been on the 'fringe'


anymore suggestions?

Heheheh I couldn't agree more

I really liked the suggestion of doing things you've always wanted to but never have. I'm going to write out a list and start doing them. At the top of my list are learning to sew and going on a contiki tour!

Also regarding the List of things to do after a breakup, I suggest:

- meditating
- getting your legs waxed at a salon
- going swimming (this is my favourite thing to do, it is so relaxing and revitalising at the same time). Or even just floating on your back is good.
- someone already suggested this, but I'll say it again, give yourself a make over; get a new haircut and wardrobe (or a few new outfits)
- get a massage (this is so relaxing and can tune you back into your body)

And for those that need to, go see a counselor for that extra bit of help.

They're all great suggestions. I love all those things too, but you can do that for yourself all the time. It's what helps keep you emotionally resilient while in a relationship and helps weather the inevitable storms.

Add - renovate. Keeps you insanely busy and productive; you feel great about the results and yourself afterwards.

Welcome to AMHD Andy.

I like your thread and some of these techniques you mention work for me,not only in breakup situations,but to wind down and relieve stress in everyday life.


Enjoy your time here.

So glad I saw this question because at thhis rate il be dealing with a breakup tooo...

The first day/night is always the hardest so firstly you could try theeses?
These could related to male or female...

1.eat choclate
2.watch a film a really soppy film
3.hve yoourself a good cry and get it all out of you system
4. call a friend or go out.. keeping yourself busy is good :)
5. (not my idea but maybe for some) snog another guy/girl haha
6. hot bath?
7. a yummy dinner
8.sleep on it, things are always better in the morning

As a few weeks go buy it'll sink in and.. you might be getting used too it but you could try these..

1. finish the work you never really started XD, work, school, collage, uni etc..
2. have your friends/family around you
3. helping others with their problems
4. a change of wardrobe?
5. hair cut/style a new you and a fresh start :)
6. do the tings you enjoy.
4. write a story or a diary
5. drawing is always fun

Yooull be okay :)

mixedupgirly x

Yep totally agree a lot of the techniques can be used for a whole bunch of stressful situations. I tend to have those really annoying obsessive thoughts about my ex going around my head a lot and I find that calming the mind helps a lot deal with it.

Yay! This is nice! :D

Very good thread man thank you!

Andy your post was merged, and has become part off the relationship stickies.