I was married to a member of the military for 13 years of which he was active duty the entire marriage. We divorced 4 years ago and in the divorce papers I objected to waiving my portion of his retirement. I was told that once he retired I would start receiving my payments directly from DFAS since we were married more than 10 years. Is that true? If so was I suppose to file some paperwork or something? I haven't received anything and he retired 5 months ago. He says the retirement payment will come through him once he has a stable job.

I was married to a member of the military for 13 years of which he was active duty the entire marriage. We divorced 4 years ago and in the divorce papers I objected to waiving my portion of his retirement. I was told that once he retired I would start receiving my payments directly from DFAS since we were married more than 10 years. Is that true? If so was I suppose to file some paperwork or something? I haven't received anything and he retired 5 months ago. He says the retirement payment will come through him once he has a stable job.

Did a lawyer handle your divorce? They / you should have already filed your paperwork when the divorce was finished. You should have filed a QDRO (qualified domestic relations order).

We filed ourselves through family court. I do have the documents though and the papers the court drew up that state I did not waive the retirement benefit. I need to file that document (QDRO) then? Where do I get the document and who do I file it with? I am sorry I feel like such a fool to think the courts/DFAS would have handled this properly.

Here are some things for you to look at and this is a great site for all divorce related info and paperwork.

California Courts: Self-Help: Search Results: qdro (http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/shsearch.cgi?start=&proxycustom=&q=qdro&x=39&y=11)

Califdadof3-
Thank you for the information! I hope it isn't too late for me to file this paperwork. My ex and I get along well enough but he isn't always trustworthy (reason for divorce). I feel like he is playing me and I have been nice and tried to allow him to do the right thing, but it looks like I am going to have to take care of it myself. Do you know if there is a time limit on the submittal of paperwork?

Califdadof3-
Thank you for the information! I hope it isn't too late for me to file this paperwork. My ex and I get along well enough but he isn't always trustworthy (reason for divorce). I feel like he is playing me and I have been nice and tried to allow him to do the right thing, but it looks like I am going to have to take care of it myself. Do you know if there is a time limit on the submittal of paperwork?

Im not super familier with QDRO's. I don't believe there is a time limit because this concerns a judement of the court and has been declared an award in your favor. You can ask a family law facilitator near you at the courthouse and ask them for sure. At this stage it may be different paperwork such as a joinder depending on how the case went and any time limits imposed. You should be getting your checks directly and not though him.

Here is some more info to better understand what the qdro is and does for you. Also this article states that for government purposes you may not need a qdro but something like it.

QDRO's: Frequently Asked Questions | divorcenet.com (http://www.divorcenet.com/states/california/qdro_frequently_asked_questions)