What rights does a husband have if his wife has an affair and bears a child as a result?

Could you please elaborate a bit more?

Depends on where you live... I know two guys in a Virginia jail right now for refusing to pay child support for kids their wives had wile having affairs, And DNA tests proved wasn't theirs.

All I can say is I feel for you and hope you aren't the one that gets the shaft while the real dad gets off the hook. Unless you are OK with it and willing to raise it as one of your own then that is between you and you rwife.

I was working ot of state (but home on weekends). Wife turned up pregnant. At that time, we were living in Illinois but we are now living in Florida. Unfortunately I "turned my back" on the situation and raised him as my own without question. However, now the marriage is beyond repair and its time for both of us to deal with it.

I think once you raised them as your own... almost any jursidiction views them as your own. Unless you can get full custody somehow expect to pay child support and alimony.

If the birth mother is married, her husband is considered the legal father whether he is the biological father.

Adoption STAR

@adoptionstar... I have no issue with raising him. In fact I wouldn't have it any other way. I was just putting feelers out there to see if I had any rights or recourse...

What AdoptionSTAR was saying... you would legally be considered the kids father... and have the right that you would have if they were your own genetically.

I was working ot of state (but home on weekends). Wife turned up pregnant. At that time, we were living in Illinois but we are now living in Florida. Unfortunately I "turned my back" on the situation and raised him as my own without question. However, now the marrage is beyond repair and its time for both of us to deal with it.

Now it's my turn to be confused - you raised this child as your own, knowing it wasn't biologically yours; now your marriage is broken up, and you want to know what your "legal recourse" is for turning a blind eye at the time of the affair?

I think not. That would be like her getting into a car accident, you telling her it's fine, and then deciding years later that you want her to reimburse you for the cost of the accident because your marriage failed. That's not how it works.

Here's how both of you "deal with it" - stop acting like juveniles and love your child with everything you have. Keep him first in everything and do not, under any circumstances, put him in the middle of your split. Show him that you love him above and beyond yourself.

How long have you lived in Florida?

That child didn't ask to be brought into the world. You accepted it as yours and now you are going to just look at the monetary issues. That stinks

Boy you people are snippy... talk about judging a book by its cover... you all should be ashamed of yourselves for jumping to conclusions about a situation... is this how you advise/ help all people with questions?? Perhaps you all should reread what I poseted again before commenting...

I specifically said that I would raise this child as my own... period. I have no intentions of not supporting him emotionally or financially. I have no intentions on disrupting this child's life any more than it has been already.

5 years...

Please show me where i said that i was strictly looking at monetary issues... please do... i challenge you...

boy you people are snippy... talk about judging a book by its cover... you all should be ashamed of yourselves for jumping to conclusions about a situation... is this how you advise/ help all people with questions??? Perhaps you all should reread what I poseted again before commenting...

i specifically said that i would raise this child as my own... period. I have no intentions of not supporting him emotionally or financially. I have no intentions on disrupting this childs life any more than it has been already.

First of all, you can direct yourself to the site rules for using the rating system:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum-help/using-comments-feature-official-guidelines-24951.html

Second, I didn't jump to any conclusions about anything. You asked what your legal recourse is against your wife - the legal answer is NONE.

I didn't say anything about you walking away from your child or disrupting his life; if you'd like to talk about being snippy and jumping to conclusions, take a good hard look in the mirror.

Get over your "poor me" attitude and try being an adult. I'm starting to see why this marriage fell apart...

Ouite frankly, uou gave us very little information to go on. You said your wife had a child by another man and you were getting divorced so, that's asking us about anything.

Perhaps if you explained what you want answers to, we will be happy to help. There are great people here
Who know the law and are lawyers themselves.

Ouite frankly, uou gave us very little information to go on. you said your wife had a child by another man and you were getting divorced so, that's asking us about anything.

Perhaps if you explained what you want answers to, we will be happy to help. There are great people here
who know the law and are lawyers themselves.

He wants to know if he can sue his wife for having an affair that he "forgave" her for years ago, because now his marriage fell apart and he wants to pout.

As much as the spiteful side of me would like to do that, I do not believe that there is any legal precedent in favor of it...

PLEASE be nice.

He isn't trying to get out of child support.

It would be good if we DID know the specifics of what the OP is asking, though. However--put yourselves in his shoes. How would YOU feel?

He's wanting to do right by the child--let's find out what his questions really are before jumping to conclusions, please.

I was merely looking for a small answer to a question about whether I had any legal rights or recourse. It's a give and take thing.. if someone said yes, then I would ask a follow-up question. If someone said no, then I would thank them.

Instead, I received comments about how I conduct myself...

From people who know nothing about my or my background...

boy you people are snippy... talk about judging a book by its cover... you all should be ashamed of yourselves for jumping to conclusions about a situation... is this how you advise/ help all people with questions??? Perhaps you all should reread what I poseted again before commenting...



I just reread all the posts in this thread. In my opinion the snippy one is you. You start with a vague question. When asked for more details you gave bare bones details without really explaining what you want. I think YOU need to reread what you posted with a more objective eye and you will see you lead us to the conclusions we were forced to make because of the lack of info provided.

The legal fact here is that when a child is born to a married couple, the husband is almost always considered the legal father. Unless a challenge is mounted to the husband's paternity, he will remain the legal father. Local laws differ as to when such a challenge can be mounted and by whom. So, you ARE the legal father and will remain so until a legal challenge can be made and upheld.

As I read some of your followups, you have no intention of disclaiming your role as this child's father. Therefore, unless the mother or the bio father mounts such a challenge, you will remain the child's father with al the rights and responsibilities of any father.

I hope that answers your question and I hope you have learned how to best use the site for the future.

@scottGem... thank you. You did answer my question. However the comment "stop acting like juveniles" and "You accepted it as yours and now you are going to just look at the monetary issues. That stinks" were out of like and wer based on

Someone's perception of me personally and not on what I posted...

And that is why I took the position that I did. There was no reason for anyone to respond to me that way regardless of how much information I revealed.

Seriously, this is a joke. I've gotten two reddies from this guy for nothing. He wants to know what his legal recourse is; there is none. Now it's turning into an assumption that he doesn't want his child - I never said that, I never implied that - but others are assuming that's what he's asking.

Enough is enough. The question has been answered. Close the thread already.

[QUOTE=madandconfused : scottgem answered my question... again you are jumping to conclusions. I never said anything about punishing anyone or hurting any child... I didn't.

Confused.. we didn't have a lot to go on. I wish you the best. I'm not a lawyer, not even close, Scott has given you some great
Advice. You are very welcome to come back and talk with people like Scott and those who know the law. I hope you do. Good Luck

Scottgem answered my question... again you are jumping to conclusions. I never said anything about punishing anyone or hurting any child... I didn't.

[QUOTE=madandconfused : scottgem answered my question... again you are jumping to conclusions. i never said anything about punishing anyone or hurting any child... i didnt.


Perhaps reading how AMHD works - for example, not using the "comments" feature to respond might work well for you.

At any rate, I didn't jump to any conclusions. I ASKED you for your reasons for asking this question. You won't be the first or the last person to turn his/her back on a child to get back at the mother.

So - what are your reasons for asking the question? You want to know what your rights are. Your rights concerning what?

Before you jump on all of us - we don't have this problem. You do.

Seriously, this is a joke. I've gotten two reddies from this guy for nothing. He wants to know what his legal recourse is; there is none. Now it's turning into an assumption that he doesn't want his child - I never said that, I never implied that - but others are assuming that's what he's asking.

Enough is enough. The question has been answered. Close the thread already.


I agree - time to close. I also think a warning or two about using the comments feature to respond and the incorrect use of reddies and greenies and a thread should be closed, anyway.

I just had to read someone's mind on the algebra board. I don't feel like reading another mind on the Family Law board.

Perhaps you should take it for what it is... just a question. Do you really think that I would be going down this path without legal guidance? I like to explore all options and ask tons of questions when I am faced with an issue or situation, family based or otherwise. It's called good management. I apologize for wanting to be informed about a situation.

As you know, when dealing with a legal issue, you go through an attorney. That person is usually as good as the research that he/ she is able to conduct which depends on their caseload/ paralegals/ and many other variables. However, there is ALWAYS something that is overlooked, no matter how advanced you are. Therefore, I took it upon myself to ask. What I got was a bunch of people's opinions about how I conduct myself or what my hidden agenda is... Unfortunately, there is no hidden agenda, no ulterior motives. There was only a question.

Perhaps you should take it for what it is... just a question. Do you really think that I would be going down this path without legal guidance? I like to explore all options and ask tons of questions when I am faced with an issue or situation, family based or otherwise. It's called good management. I apologize for wanting to be informed about a situation.

As you know, when dealing with a legal issue, you go through an attorney. That person is usually as good as the research that he/ she is able to conduct which depends on their caseload/ paralegals/ and many other variables. However, there is ALWAYS something that is overlooked, no matter how advanced you are. Therefore, I took it upon myself to ask. What I got was a bunch of people's opinions about how I conduct myself or what my hidden agenda is... Unfortunately, there is no hidden agenda, no ulterior motives. There was only a question.



I guess we were wondering about the child. You have raised him or her as your own. Are you going to try and get custody?

I do not want to relinquish custody at all.

Perhaps you should take it for what it is... just a question. Do you really think that I would be going down this path without legal guidance? I like to explore all options and ask tons of questions when I am faced with an issue or situation, family based or otherwise. It's called good management. I apologize for wanting to be informed about a situation.

As you know, when dealing with a legal issue, you go through an attorney. That person is usually as good as the research that he/ she is able to conduct which depends on their caseload/ paralegals/ and many other variables. However, there is ALWAYS something that is overlooked, no matter how advanced you are. Therefore, I took it upon myself to ask. What I got was a bunch of people's opinions about how I conduct myself or what my hidden agenda is... Unfortunately, there is no hidden agenda, no ulterior motives. There was only a question.


You are remarkably passive/aggressive -

Anyway, without knowing what you want to accomplish (thorugh your Attorney) no one here knows how to advise you.

I have raised him as my own since day one and I want to continue (as Ive stated before)... but thanks for asking politely.

So you are asking for custody of the child?

@JudyKayTee... you should see me negoitate a contract...

Per scottgem and others, I already do unless the ex or the bio-dad pushes the issue...

@JudyKayTee... you should see me negoitate a contract...


I will refrain from commenting about how you couldn't figure out AMHD rules. You should me in the Courtroom.

I got them... after the first comment. I just did one more for you... see I do have a sense of humor...

i got them...after the first comment. I just did one more for you... see i do have a sense of humor...

After all is said and done.. it's admirable you love that child so much. Is your ex going to fight you for Custody?

Florida is a 50%-50% state unless someone is proven unfit. My concerns are with the bio-dad.

I've always has a philosophy of never going into battle without knowing what the other side is going to do. I run scenarios in my head and on paper to ensure my rediness and to better prepare myself for the unknown... as the saying goes "you don't know what you don't know."

Florida is a 50%-50% state unless someone is proven unfit. My concerns are with the bio-dad.

I've always has a philosophy of never going into battle without knowing what the other side is going to do. I run scenarios in my head and on paper to ensure my rediness and to better prepare myself for the unknown... as the saying goes "you don't know what you don't know."

Well the really excellent people here who know the law will help advise you. Scott and Judy and GV70 are so knowledable about the law. Smooty knows a great deal and so does Fr_Chuck. Hang in here with us.
Fr_Chuck knows a lot about almost everything and so do the rest.

This whole thread has me completely confused.

What is your question? Are you trying to get custody of your son? Are you trying to keep the biological father away from him? What are you asking for?

The reason you got the responses you did is because your original question was too vague to identify. No one understood if you wanted your son/didn't want your son, wanted to sue your wife/didn't want to sue your wife, etc. Instead of clarifying, you became angry and started yelling at everyone - that alone concerns me.

Are you listed on the birth certificate as this child's father?

This whole thread has me completely confused.

What is your question? Are you trying to get custody of your son? Are you trying to keep the biological father away from him? What are you asking for?

The reason you got the responses you did is because your original question was too vague to identify. No one understood if you wanted your son/didn't want your son, wanted to sue your wife/didn't want to sue your wife, etc. Instead of clarifying, you became angry and started yelling at everyone - that alone concerns me.

Are you listed on the birth certificate as this child's father?




I think we need to let the experts handle this one. This guy loves the child and I am not a lawyer. Are You?:)

OK, I do understand your ire at some of the comments, but again I believe those comments were not unjustified based on what you posted.

You spoke about liking to do research, which is very good. However, you seem to have done almost no research about how to use this site. Spending a little bit of time browsing around may have saved you some grief. In fact, since there are several threads that deal with this issue of the husband being the legal father, you might have had your answer without even posting.

So I'm going to chalk this one up to experience. You have gotten the answer you wanted. Further discussion is therefore unnecessary.

Thread closed.