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View Full Version : How & what do I need to prove to win custody?


exhaustedmommy
Sep 16, 2010, 08:40 AM
I have currently filed a custody case in the state of MD against my husband. As it stands now with our current order, I have sole physical custody with joint legal custody. He has visitation rights. The reason why I left and why I have filed for custody is due to his excessive drinking and two physical attacks that resulted in me filing for protective orders. The first physical attack occurred in May. When we went to court, he asked the judge to speak with me. He stated that he was getting help for his drinking and wanted to get our family back on track. Well just a short while later it was back to the whole drinking all night Friday night & Saturday. Then being hung over all day on Sunday and not moving off the couch. The police have been to our residence about 10 times since Jan 2010. All except 1 time my husband was drunk. Usually that would result in the police officers asking him to leave, him refusing, so then I would take our daughter and l would wind up leaving and having to spend the night at a fmaily memebers or friends house. He has tried to commit and threatened to commit suicide several times. I am scared to death to let our daughter spend any more time with him than what is currently ordered. What do I need to do to prove that she is in a more stable environment with me than she would be with him. Also, I am the one that is currently finanacially supporting her and I was finanacially supporting our family. When my husband left he put a stop payment on the one daycare check that he had written for her for that week. In the 7 months that she has been to the daycare, he has only been there 1 time to pick her up. He never even went with me when I went to interview her because he was hung over. Also, out of all of the doctors appointments that I have taken her to he has only taken her 1 time. And he even refused to take her once because it was inconvenient for him to come and get her car seat.

exhaustedmommy
Sep 16, 2010, 09:14 AM
Some other general facts about this situation. After my husband tried to commit suicide in February we sent to see a therapist. He made us take separate vehicles. He stated that he wanted to be able to leave if I said anything about the suicide. On one of the evenings that I left, the friend that I was staying with did see the text messages that I received about him committing suicide. All of my paychecks had to be direct deposited into his bank account that only he had access to. I had to ask him for money for gas or to get things for our daughter. On the weekends when he would drink, I would have to take our daughter into the bedroom all day on Sunday because he was hung over and napping on the couch or playing video games. And I wasn't allowed to take our daughter to do anything such as go to the park. Also in February when he tried to commit suicide his mother gave him prescription medication for depression and sleep pills that were prescribed for my husbands father at the psych ward. I still have them with her hand written notes on how he should take them.

ScottGem
Sep 16, 2010, 09:30 AM
You need to be able to document what you have told us. Police reports, arrest records, court orders, doctor's reports. Anything that will officially corroborate what you have told us. Anything that you can't corroborate, do not bring up.

I would say you have a very strong chance of restricting visitation to supervised visits. I'm not sure if you can get visitation eliminated entirely.

I'm a little foggy on what you are going to court about. You stated you have sole physical custody. Are you looking to have sole legal custody as well? Do you want to eliminate visitation?

exhaustedmommy
Sep 16, 2010, 09:42 AM
I do have all of that. I have letters from the daycare provider (which have been notarized) and she stated that she would even come to court if necessary. I have letters from the pediatrician office stating who has brought our daughter to what appointments and what she has come in for. I have several witness that will testify to the events of me having to stay at their homes with our daughter and the text messages that I received from him. As I said, I still have the prescriptiion medication that was prescribed to his father with his mothers instructions on how to take the medication. I also have a witness that I was on the phone with during one of the disputes that has to wind up calling the police because of what she heard from him and feared for my daughters and my safety.

As far as the police reports are concerned, I went to the police station and apparently they have a log of when they have been out there, but there aren't really any reports except for the two physical altercations. Would I have to find out what officers responded and try to get them to come to court to testify as to the fact that he was heavily intoxicated? I mean it is to the point that the police officers know him by name at the station.

Also we are going to court because I filed my original protective order when the incident occurred. He filed his protective order a week later (after not showing up for the temporary protective order hearing, and not having any contact either way for a week). When he filed his order he filed it in the circuit court with a Judge that is the father of one of his friends (a friend that witnessed his suicide rant in February). And when I filed for custody after I filed the protective order that was also filed in circuit. So they moved both protective orders and the custody case over to circuit. We went to court on the 10th for the protective orders and since the custody was filed they wanted us to come up to some type of temporary order until the actual custody hearing could be heard.

Furthermore, he is supposed to be enrolled in a drug & alcohol program that I do not think he has entered yet. I am allowed to request 4 random drug & alcohol tests during the month, and he refused my request on Sunday. He is picking our daughter up outside of the ordered visitation hours. And he has contacted me via text message with things that aren't concerning the welfare of our child.

ScottGem
Sep 16, 2010, 09:59 AM
Ok, sounds like you have your ducks in a row. If you can get a copy of the police log or a deposition from a police officer testifying to the log, that might help.

AK lawyer
Sep 16, 2010, 10:53 AM
... If you can get a copy of the police log or a deposition from a police officer testifying to the log, that might help.

The police report or log is probably inadmissible hearsay. Be sure to get the officer on the witness stand.