Sometimes I swear my man is gay or at least bi. He has many gay tendencies BUT he loves going down on me and loves to touch my special spot.

Recently though, he told me he no longer likes to have sex while on my period. Before, he didn't mind it. Now he says "It's gross."

Thoughts?

How old are you?

I am 22 and he is 27.

Sometimes I swear my man is gay or at least bi. He has many gay tendencies BUT he loves going down on me and loves to touch my special spot.

Recently though, he told me he no longer likes to have sex while on my period. Before, he didn't mind it. Now he says "It's gross."

Thoughts?

What kind of "gay tendencies"?

What makes you think he is gay?

How do you know for sure that he didn't think having sex with you before while on your period wasn't gross? Maybe he didn't want to hurt your feelings.

If you read my other questions, you will find that he was addicted to Morphine for a long time so that can alter a personality a bit.

I don't see the connection between not wanting to have sex during your period and being gay; maybe he's bi; maybe he's straight.

You are in a sexual relationship. Presumably you talk to each other. Ask him.

I don't want to put stereotypes on straight men because a lot of them like different things. Here are some things I find a bit abnormal for a straight man:

1.) He likes candles (like the vanilla, strawberry and blueberry kind)
2.) He likes to pick out clothes for me when we're shopping
3.) He once bought me a pair of beautiful, blue earrings and every time I wear them, he comments on how nice they are
4.) He likes to decorate
5.) Recently I found out he likes country music where before, he liked rap and hip-hop. He claims that it is too negative and country sings about happy things
6.) If I were to wear a nice shirt, that is the first thing he would comment on me
7.) He's not a constant gay-basher but every now and then he makes fun of them

On the flip side, he likes dirt-biking, is knowledgeable with cars and changes my oil, likes oral sex on me couldn't care less for the social networks like Facebook etc. I'm so confused!

I have asked him. One of his responses was "No, that's f***ing gross. Look what they do to each other

Well then, that should answer your question.

I don't want to put stereotypes on straight men because a lot of them like different things. Here are some things I find a bit abnormal for a straight man:

1.) He likes candles (like the vanilla, strawberry and blueberry kind)
2.) He likes to pick out clothes for me when we're shopping
3.) He once bought me a pair of beautiful, blue earrings and every time I wear them, he comments on how nice they are
4.) He likes to decorate
5.) Recently I found out he likes country music where before, he liked rap and hip-hop. He claims that it is too negative and country sings about happy things
6.) If I were to wear a nice shirt, that is the first thing he would comment on me
7.) He's not a constant gay-basher but every now and then he makes fun of them

On the flip side, he likes dirt-biking, is knowledgeable with cars and changes my oil, likes oral sex on me couldn't care less for the social networks like facebook ect. I'm so confused!


None of these things to me sound like he is gay. It's sounds like he is a creative, caring, sweet, generous person, who has tact and taste.

You should stop obsessing and start enjoying.

I don't want to put stereotypes on straight men because a lot of them like different things. Here are some things I find a bit abnormal for a straight man:

1.) He likes candles (like the vanilla, strawberry and blueberry kind)
2.) He likes to pick out clothes for me when we're shopping
3.) He once bought me a pair of beautiful, blue earrings and every time I wear them, he comments on how nice they are
4.) He likes to decorate
5.) Recently I found out he likes country music where before, he liked rap and hip-hop. He claims that it is too negative and country sings about happy things
6.) If I were to wear a nice shirt, that is the first thing he would comment on me
7.) He's not a constant gay-basher but every now and then he makes fun of them

On the flip side, he likes dirt-biking, is knowledgeable with cars and changes my oil, likes oral sex on me couldn't care less for the social networks like facebook ect. I'm so confused!



I find him to be a nice guy who knows what he likes or doesn't like - I don't understand your complaints.

I think you're the gay basher in this relationship. He picked out earrings, bought them for you and compliments you when you wear them and you think THAT'S gay behavior?

I don't think changing oil, dirt biking and being knowledgeable about cars are gender oriented.

Oh my word... liking Country music is not gay, quite the opposite. Beer drinking, fighting, women and men breaking up, trucks, trains, rain, prison... What's gay about that?

There are two ways to know someone is gay:

1. They tell you
2. You catch them in bed with someone of the same gender as they are.

That's it. Those are the ONLY two ways to know.

If he said he isn't, you need to stop obsessing about it and figure out what's wrong with YOU that you even think that way.

PS--my husband is most DEFINITELY not gay, and loves my scented candles, does most of the cooking in our house, does his own ironing because he's more worried about wrinkles than I am, picks out clothing for me, compliments me on a regular basis, enjoys decorating our new house with me, likes cats better than dogs, and knows the difference between kelly green and sage green.

I think you've got too many stereotypes stuck in your head, lady, and just need to get over it.

PPS--*I* think having sex on your period is gross, and I'm a woman. What does THAT have to do with being gay?

I think you're homophopic. Lots of guys like candles and are great at picking out jewlery. Being married to you he may wish he were gay. Big Deal

I think this goes beyond his sexuality and into you looking for reasons to leave. Are you happy in the relationship? Are you willing to go through rehabilitation (if he goes through with detoxing) with him and deal with the changes?

From reading your other two threads, I think you need to look closer at what you want to do instead of looking for excuses and rationalizations.

Thank you everyone for the much needed self-awareness.

Indeed, I try anything and everything in my power to recreate what once was. Our relationship use to be this, use to be that and now it's no longer. That is the bigger picture here. I love this man with all my heart and I hate that we've changed so drastically. Everyday I worry something new about him. I'm a worry-wart.

I need to change that.

Thank you everyone for the much needed self-awareness.

Indeed, I try anything and everything in my power to recreate what once was. Our relationship use to be this, use to be that and now it's no longer. That is the bigger picture here. I love this man with all my heart and I hate that we've changed so drastically. Everyday I worry something new about him. I'm a worry-wart.

I need to change that.

You're welcome.

I wish you both good luck. I did read your other posts and I wish him the best of luck as well.

There are two ways to know someone is gay:

1. They tell you
2. You catch them in bed with someone of the same gender as they are.

That's it. Those are the ONLY two ways to know.

if he said he isn't, you need to stop obsessing about it and figure out what's wrong with YOU that you even think that way.

PS--my husband is most DEFINITELY not gay, and loves my scented candles, does most of the cooking in our house, does his own ironing because he's more worried about wrinkles than I am, picks out clothing for me, compliments me on a regular basis, enjoys decorating our new house with me, likes cats better than dogs, and knows the difference between kelly green and sage green.

I think you've got too many stereotypes stuck in your head, lady, and just need to get over it.

PPS--*I* think having sex on your period is gross, and I'm a woman. What does THAT have to do with being gay?

It's the fact that he USE to like it (or so I thought) but now all of a sudden after such a long time, he doesn't like it? Maybe he did think it was gross all along but didn't want to hurt my feelings.

I do apologize for making such stereotypes.

Just to add to the mix.

I'm a guy.

I love to cook.

My ex, a gorgeous woman, would often ask me to help her pick out outfits for her. She could look killer, but just didn't get some texture and color issues.

I tend to listen to harder music, but have my own little country collection of favs.

I know how to arrange flowers. I prefer to buy them and put together an arrangement myself, when time allows.

I have no problem telling you when I think a man is handsome or attractive or has a nice arse.

I've gone to gay bars and danced the night away.
...

And I'm so, so, SO straight.

Absolutely in love with the female form, taste, and feel.

just to add in to the mix.

im a guy.

i love to cook.

my ex, a gorgeous woman, would often ask me to help her pick out outfits for her. she could look killer, but just didnt get some texture and color issues.

i tend to listen to harder music, but have my own little country collection of favs.

i know how to arrange flowers. i prefer to buy them and put together an arrangement myself, when time allows.

i have no problem telling you when i think a man is handsome or attractive or has a nice arse.

ive gone to gay bars and danced the night away.
...

and im so, so, SO straight.

absolutely in love with the female form, taste, and feel.

Do you think Jude Law is handsome? Mel Gibson:cool:

I think some men are "pretty", some are handsome, some are both, some are neither and still not necessarily unattractive.

The young brad pitt. Pretty.

Denzel Washington. Handsome.

Orlando bloom. Pretty.

Johnny depp. Pretty, but can absolutely pull off handsome. When? Clean cut in a suit.

...

Hard to explain. My ex and I would usually be on the same page when talking about men and attractiveness.

She hated boxing, but would love to watch evander hollyfield jump rope with his shirt off. She liked guys who couldn't fit into her pants. Broad shoulders. Linebacker material.

My cousin would constantly disagree with her. She liked "waify" men. Skinny. Young looking. No ruggedness.

I acknowledge a fairly wide range of "handsome"... I wouldn't put either mel or jude on my "if i was gay" list... but I don't get too confused if either are mentioned.

Jack black... thatll confuse me. But to each ones own. Its why our species survives.

i think some men are "pretty", some are handsome, some are both, some are neither and still not necessarily unattractive.

the young brad pitt. pretty.

denzel washington. handsome.

orlando bloom. pretty.

johnny depp. pretty, but can absolutely pull off handsome. when? clean cut in a suit.



hard to explain. my ex and i would usually be on the same page when talking about men and attractiveness.

she hated boxing, but would love to watch evander hollyfield jump rope with his shirt off. she liked guys who couldnt fit into her pants. broad shoulders. linebacker material.

my cousin would constantly disagree with her. she liked "waify" men. skinny. young looking. no ruggedness.

i acknowledge a fairly wide range of "handsome"... i wouldnt put either mel or jude on my "if i was gay" list... but i dont get too confused if either are mentioned.

jack black... thatll confuse me. but to each ones own. its why our species survives.

I think Sam Elliott is the hunkiest man in the world and his voice is like
So... well it's like.. pure unadulterated MAN!! :cool: Bruce Willis... ;)

Id kill for elliots voice.

If I could change one thing about me, it wouldn't be my shape or form. I have control over that. I can force myself into place.

My voice... its pedestrian. Uninteresting. Unremarkable. Id buy me some bass and gravel.

Knew a girl in med school who was wet for her anatomy teacher. He wasn't much to look at... but he had The Voice... and apparently all the women in the class would go to lecture, close their eyes, and listen to his voice undress them.

I'm not complaining too loudly. Grateful I have my grandfathers stature and shoulders. Just woudlnt complain if my voice was a bit more distictive.

id kill for elliots voice.

if i could change one thing about me, it wouldnt be my shape or form. i have control over that. i can force myself into place.

my voice... its pedestrian. uninteresting. unremarkable. id buy me some bass and gravel.

knew a girl in med school who was wet for her anatomy teacher. he wasnt much to look at... but he had The Voice... and apparently all the women in the class would go to lecture, close their eyes, and listen to his voice undress them.

im not complaining too loudly. grateful i have my grandfathers stature and shoulders. just woudlnt complain if my voice was a bit more distictive.



I would have Demi Moores voice... :cool:

Sometimes I swear my man is gay or at least bi. He has many gay tendencies BUT he loves going down on me and loves to touch my special spot.

Recently though, he told me he no longer likes to have sex while on my period. Before, he didn't mind it. Now he says "It's gross."

Thoughts?

Speaking as a guy... the issue is there is more work involved to not make a huge mess... a small degree of odor during her period.

What it is likely is simply this... early enough in the relationship, you just want to hit it... whenever and wherever you can... you are new, fresh... not routine yet. Eventually its simply enough of an inconvienience due to the prep and post coitus cleanup that urge isn't nearly as compelling.

The gay aspect has been well covered and I can't add anything to that. But I don't see it as him being gay, or even having gay tendencies in any way shape or form. After all, its obvious he loves taco... and not Salami.

I also don't see it as being anything you have or should have done. Its simply the novelty has worn off the early part of the relationship.

Thank you everyone for the much needed self-awareness.

Indeed, I try anything and everything in my power to recreate what once was. Our relationship use to be this, use to be that and now it's no longer. That is the bigger picture here. I love this man with all my heart and I hate that we've changed so drastically. Everyday I worry something new about him. I'm a worry-wart.

I need to change that.

I think you are learning the lesson of 'relationships change'. Sometimes for the better-sometimes for the worse. Sometimes there are worse times before the better. A lot depends on what you are willing to put up with and if he can make the changes he needs to make to be a better partner, again.

You are dealing with an addicted person. It is going to affect the trust from the point that you found out until the moment the relationship ends, however it ends. Some of your worries may, in a way, seem 'silly' (like the gay part), but those worries might be masking deeper concerns (like the thought of him hiding his addiction and not getting help).

I know on the addiction thread someone already mentioned Al-Anon. I think a support group like it would help you see the 'big picture' and decide where to go from here.

Love him, but don't forget to love yourself. Good luck.

kp2171 agrees : you are sexy, smart, and sexy-smart. ;) I, however, am an idiot. Who knew?

You, an idiot? Not even a chance!