View Full Version : What do I do when my boyfriend still wants more space than me after 10 months of dating?
stuckin2nd
Sep 14, 2010, 06:35 PM
I have a boyfriend who needs more space than me. We've been dating for 10 months, were acquaintances for 10 years prior to that. For the first while he only wanted to hang out once or twice a week, now it's progressed to 2, 3 or sometimes 4 times per week, but always according to how much he wants to hang out. I feel like the relationship is stuck in 2nd gear and am bummed because I feel like he's generally unenthusiastic about me... never texts me that he has to see me or anything like that. He initiates very little communication on days we don't hang out and only responds to some of my texts when we aren't hanging out (I don't text him all the time.) He finally texted me the other day that he thinks about me all the time, and said he knows he doesn't always respond to my texts right away, he's just "a lazy man in love." Anyway, he told me he's always loved me and probably always will. I feel like he truly cares about me, and we have a lot in common and have a great time when we're together. I feel crazy about him when I'm with him, but I feel like the pace of the relationship is so slow and will never change. What do I do? I love to be with him, but feel like it's so hot and cold when there's almost no connection when we don't hang out. I don't feel a connect from day to day in the relationship. Again, what do I do when I like him so much but it's not making me happy day to day?
answerme_tender
Sep 15, 2010, 06:48 AM
Well you have given him total control of the relationship. You have proven how desperate you are to have him in your live, and he know this. Why should he change, why should he show more attention to you or even have a lengthy conversation with you, he knows you will hang around. Love is a very powerful word, unfortunately its can come of some peoples tongues to easy, without true meaning. Some will tell us what we want to hear so they can manipulate a entire relationshp. Are you the first, sorry to say your not, nor will you be the last. But you can think about this relationship and understand what you want from it, and if your not getting it now, you may never get it. So do you stay or do you want something or someone who will want you and yes even have a full converstion with you.----good luck
J_9
Sep 15, 2010, 07:16 AM
What did we do before text messaging?
talaniman
Sep 15, 2010, 07:09 PM
If your not happy with the attention you get, speak up, and see what he does about it. He is no mind reader, and maybe your better friends, than romantic partners.
I think you may have high expectations for him, or he doesn't feel as dependent on you, as you are him, and maybe not enough of a balance in your own life when he is not around. Its unhealthy, and unrealistic to depend on the actions of another to make you happy, and maybe you are wanting more from him than he can give.
You won't know without talking to him, and seeing why he is the way he is.
Kitkat22
Sep 15, 2010, 07:16 PM
Stop being needy and clingy. Stand up for yourself and stop being his now and then.
He doesn't respect you and why should he? You don't respect yourself.