My wife and I are currently going through a divorce. She currently lives in the apartment with our 3 kids, and I'm currently paying child support. She is not paying for the rent for the apartment and we both have signed the lease for the apartment. If rent is not paid for the apartment she will be evicted along with our kids. She has told me that she can't pay the rent and if they get evicted she will move back to her parents home with the kids. That would mean she would have to quit her job and take the kids out of school and relocate 2 hours away from me. Can she do that?

My wife had me court ordered to move out of our apartment. We are both on the lease. I am currently paying child support, and now she is stating that she can't afford the rent and may be facing an eviction. Our kids live with her in the apartment. Am I still liable to pay the rent for an apartment I have no possession of or have been court ordered to stay away from the residence?

Has there been a divorce decree yet or is this all just starting. Since your on the lease your still under contractual obligation until the lease expires. Did you notify the landlord of what's going on?

What state is this in? Some states have automatic move away orders until the courts can decide. 2 hours away would interfere with your visitation.

A lease is a contract - yes, you are still obligated. Attempt to negotiate with the landlord. Once she moves out, then you can move in.

I have requested that both of your posts be combined - the question is (basically) the same. Please post all info in one place.

Does your wife have a retraining order against you? Is the support Court Ordered and what specifically does the Order say? Does it address child support ONLY? Visitation?

Yes you are obligated to pay the lease. But there is really a lot more going on here. You need to come back and provide the information asked. The first of which is whether a divorce action has been filed.

State of California Here is the Details: My wife filed for divorce and served me on August 4th. She then served me with a DV Temporary Restraining Order on Aug. 6. I went to court on Aug. 26th. The Temporary Restraining Order had expired and managed to get her to drop the restraining order and was able to come to some type of arrangement (stipulation). She requested that I stay away from the residence (apartment) with the exception of the days that I would have to pick-up the kids as part of my visitation. I had already paid for the rent for August, and had given her the agreed child support payments, September rent is now past due and have discussed the issue with the Leasing Office. They told me that rent has to be paid by Sept 20th or it will go into legal action and face eviction. I've given her $455 on Aug 27th for a back pay for aug 15, then given her another $455 on Sept. 1st and have currently started a direct deposit to her account which she received $227 on Sept 9th and will continue to receive $227 on a weekly basis. My child support had been calculated to be $909.00 per month, which half is due on the 1st and 15th of each month. She states that she can't afford to pay the rent for the apartment and stated that if they face the eviction she will move with the kids to san diego to her parents home. The apartment is located in Orange County and I currently live with my sisters home which is about 10 minutes away. My wife currently does work, making $15.00 per hour. With the child support payments that I've given to her, I am unable to afford the full amount of the rent. I understand that my wife and I are still liable for the apartment because we both signed the lease... but feel she needs to do her part to pay the rent considering that I've given her the child support payments. So if she faces the eviction and moves to san diego with the kids, would mean she will have to quit her job and take the kids out of school and move out of the community making my visitation (Sunday @ 9AM to Tuesday @ 9 AM) very dificult.

I'm not sure what the story is but you posted earlier today that you are Court ordered to stay away from the apartment. Which is it? You are or you are not?

If she can't afford to pay the rent and her choices are living in a shelter with your children or moving, I believe the Court is going to allow her to move.

The stipulation addresses vistation from Sunday @ 9AM to Tuesday @9Am, Child Support calculated at $909 per month half due on the 1st and 15th of each month.

The stipulation states that I cannont be in the residence (apartment) with the exception on the days I pick up and drop off the kids.

She did file for divorce and served me on Aug 4th. So our divorce is currently filed and in process

Is the visitation court ordered? Can you help her find another apartment nearby but more affordable?

This is a hard one to call. As Judy indicated, the court is likely to allow her to move 2 hours away and have you modify the visitation.

The stipulations that were turned in to the court states vistiation and child support amounts. It also states that Im to stay away from the apartment.

Here is what your looking at. How much is the rent on the apartment? If she leaves it behind can you get a roommate until the lease has expired? The problem is that when she served the divorce papers there were orders already existing in them that were restraining orders for the both of you. Those are for financial purposes. Why is it she can't afford the rent yet kicked you out? She will have to answer for that. For now if she moves then your going to have to go back to court and get some changes made. Unless it is way out of line 600 per week gross she should be able to keep the apartment with the extra child support.

Please do not use the Comments feature or start new threads with follow-up info. Use the Answer This Question oiptions.

I have spoken to the Apartment Leasing Manager / Office. They stated the following: Rent $1525, $30 additional parking fee, $75.00 late fee and $199.25 for water/trash/gas total comes out to $1749.25. They advised me that both my wife and I are on the lease and we are both legally responsible. I have discussed with them our situation. They told me that we have until Sept 20th to pay the amount due before they take legal actions. I have tried to make arrangements with my wife in regards to making the payment. I had asked her how much can she afford towards the balance due... she stated $800, and told her to get a cashiers check for that amount and make it out to the Apartment Complex and that I would cover the difference. The following day she stated she didn't have the $800 and that she can only give $500.00. She stated that by giving that amount towards the rent she will be broke and unable to make payments towards her vehicle, and will not have money to buy groceries and pocket money. I am unable to pay for the full amount of the rent because I'm giving her $909 a month in child support... and since I've already given her $455 on Aug 27th and $455 on Sept 1st and she also received $227.50 on Sept 6 and will continue to receive $227.50 per week. The fact that I'm holding up my end of the Child Support, shouldn't she be allocating those funds towards the rent as well as providing her income to supplement on top of the child support payments towards the best well being of our children?

I have spoken to the Apartment Leasing Manager / Office. They stated the following: Rent $1525, $30 additional parking fee, $75.00 late fee and $199.25 for water/trash/gas total comes out to $1749.25. They advised me that both my wife and I are on the lease and we are both legally responsible. I have discussed with them our situation. They told me that we have until Sept 20th to pay the amount due before they take legal actions. I have tried to make arrangments with my wife in regards to making the payment. I had asked her how much can she afford towards the balance due...she stated $800, and told her to get a cashiers check for that amount and make it out to the Apartment Complex and that i would cover the difference. The following day she stated she didn't have the $800 and that she can only give $500.00. She stated that by giving that amount towards the rent she will be broke and unable to make payments towards her vehicle, and will not have money to buy groceries and pocket money. I am unable to pay for the full amount of the rent due to the fact that I'm giving her $909 a month in child support...and since I've already given her $455 on Aug 27th and $455 on Sept 1st and she also received $227.50 on Sept 6 and will continue to receive $227.50 per week. The fact that I'm holding up my end of the Child Support, shouldn't she be allocating those funds towards the rent as well as providing her income to supplement on top of the child support payments towards the best well being of our children?

Yes she should be doing that. But that is a matter for common sense and the courtrooms. Is your name on the car too or is this a recent acquisition ?

You didn't answer my question about whether they will let you out of the lease and you can find a less expensive place.

The leasing office stated that they will allow us out of the lease so as long as we find someone to take over the lease. But otherwise we still would be responsible for the current months rent. The other option that was offered was that they will allow us to terminate our lease early but the finanical cost would be great. We would have to pay the current months rent, plus allow for a 30 day noitce (additional months rent) plus a break fee equal to one months rent... so Rent for Septmenber $1550, Plus the 30 day notice of $1550 (October rent) and Break Fee of $1550 total equals $4650. Our lease ends in March. It would be more cost efficient to continue the lease until March.

Either way, my wife states that she still can't afford the rent with her $15.00 per hour job plus the $909.00 monthly child support that I'm providing. She stated that if she gets evicted she will move to San Diego with her parents along with the kids (7, 6 & 2 years of age)

What the leasing agent offered is pretty standard. We've given you your alternatives.

The divorce papers she filed stated that our sepertion date is July 19, 2010. It is the day she told me to leave the home for a cooling off period... She stated she needed time alone. The rent for July and August was paid by myself along with the utilities. The kids are in her custody living in the apartment and the kids have recently started school on Aug 30th. She currently works at $15.00 per hour, four days a week. Since the time I've been away from the apartment, she hasn't paid any of our bills. Currently there is no home phone service, cable and internet at the apartment due to non-payment on her part. We have 2 vehicles together, one which is financed under my name (nissan) and the other is financed under both our names (honda). She currently drives the vehicle that is financed under my name. We had agreed that she would handle the payments on the honda and I would handle the payments of the nissan. She tells me that she can't afford the rent, the car payments, and having difficulties financially to afford the tuition for our kids daycare, and groceries. I've already given her $1200 in child support since Aug. 27th, I've offered her to help with the rent so as long as she puts in $800 (which she says she can't afford). She states she only has $500 and that is all the money she has available. By giving up the $500 she will have nothing to afford the daycare cost and groceries plus money for gas and unable to pay her car payment. So which means even after I pay the difference of the rent amount, that I would also have to cover the cost of daycare and car payments for both cars to save us from the risk of eviction and repossession. I'm doing my part by paying the required child support to care for my kids, but feel she isn't doing or affording her responsibilities towards our kids. By offering to help her with the rent... I'm going far beyond what I'm required to do as far as the child support payments, but it will put myself in financial hardship. I feel if she can't provide a roof over our kids, that I would be able to, and that the kids should return to me. She continues to threaten me that she will take the kids and move to san diego if I don't pay the rent, and she has also threatened me that she will change my visitation rights with the kids. She wants me out of her life, but neglects to understand that we have kids together and that we need to build a relationship as parents to support and care for our kids. She is doing everything she can to take the kids away from me completely. What can I do?

You go back to Court, explain the situation, ask for an adjustment in child support due to the circumstances you have stated here.

We've given you all the legal answers. Now you have to follow through.

While you have added specific detail, it doesn't change the base situation. If she can't afford to maintain the current apartment then she needs to find a less expansive one. She, apparently, initiated the divorce, she needs to have planned things out.

You need to work through the courts for anything as of this point.

With my wife filing for divorce, and our finanical situation in such difficulties and feel that filing bankruptcy will help. Is it best to file for bankruptcy during the divorce or once the divorce have been finalized?

Only you know - but be aware that any joint obligations will become HER obligations if you file and the bankruptcy is approved. The Court will address that situation in the divorce.

This is best answered by an Attorney familiar with your income, expenses, assets.

With the Restraining Order in place that is stated in the Divorce papers... what can I do if she is not able to afford to protect our community assets and meet the obligation of our debts. What steps can I take to ensure that she takes care of her part? What do I need to file with the courts? Our apartment is at risk for eviction, our vehicles are at risk for repossesion. With us being separated at this point, she should take care of her half of all the debts just as much as I do... but what can I do to enforce that in her?

Go to court

With the Restraining Order in place that is stated in the Divorce papers...what can I do if she is not able to afford to protect our community assets and meet the obligation of our debts. What steps can I take to ensure that she takes care of her part? What do i need to file with the courts? Our apartment is at risk for eviction, our vehicles are at risk for repossesion. With us being seperated at this point, she should take care of her half of all the debts just as much as I do...but what can I do to enforce that in her?


I for one am getting bored but I'll try one more time. Are you actually reading the answers?

You say there is a restraining order. Then you say there is not. Then she's filed for divorce. Then there are divorce papers. She's your ex-wife. Then she's your current wife, divorcing you. I have no idea what the situation is and I'm not sure you do, either.

As I said - if you file in bankruptcy and there are joint assets as well as joint debts she could forfeit her share of the assets and be responsible for the entire debt.

What she "should" and "shouldn't" do at this point is for the Court to decide. If you have the superior income, why "should" she be responsible for 50%.

You need to consult with an Attorney and you need to go back to Court - please read this sentence again.

Otherwise - I'm out, tired of the "okay, but what ifs ..."

My ex and I currently live in orange county, CA. She has been telling me that she plans to move back to san diego, ca with our kids. Our kids have been in school for the past three years. Our youngest (2yrs) is in her second year in Preschool, our 6 year old is in 1st grade, and our oldest is in 2nd grade. We have lived in the community for over 4 years. My parents, sisters and brothers also lives in the community and my kids are very close to my side of the family. How do I prevent her from moving and taking the kids? What can I do to prevent her from obtaining a move-out order? I currently have my visitations on Sunday @ 9AM to Tuesday. I want more time with my kids, and by her wanting to move to san diego with the kids will pose more difficulties on my visitation and making it even more difficult to obtain more time with my kids.

Is the visitation court ordered? If her move will interfere with the exercise of your visitation and you have been exercising it, its not likely she will get permission from the court to move.

If she doesn't get court approval and moves without you can have her cited for contempt. If you have any proof she plns to move you can go to court for an injunction to prevent it.

Ex served me with a temporary restraining order, she made accusations of DV. Went to court with my attorney and my attorney managed to get ex to drop the TRO and was able to get ex to mediate or stipulate. We have an agreed visitation schedule and child support amount. Because of the TRO I was court ordered to move out of our apartment... and with the stipulations I am no longer able to go back to the residence. Ex is currently living in the apartment with our 3 kids. She has recently informed me that she cannot manage financially on her own even with the child support payments I have been giving. She currently works full time @15.00 per hour. Ex has stated that she feels more secure if she were to move back home to san diego with parents than staying at her current location with the kids. My 2 boys (especially my oldest son) has been telling me repeatedly that they want to live with me an not there mother. My kids are very close to my brother and sisters kids.

Ex served me with a temporary restraining order, she made accusations of DV.

I thought this story sounded familiar. Checking I found that we had gone through this a few weeks ago. The answers do not change. You were told at that point not to start new threads with the same question. Had you added to your original thread I wouldn't have had to waste my time asking for more information.

The bottom line is we can't predict what a court will do. But there seems to be enough reasons not to grant the move.

Have you tried finding her less expensive lodgings as was suggested? Have you done ANY of the things that were suggested?