Okay, let me have it. A friend of mine since childhood is getting a divorce. They haven't been intimate in several years, but stayed together for the kids. I'm crazy about him. We've been hanging out and last week, we kissed for the first time. I know I need to be in control, but I'm really into this person. We're not rushing, but the chemistry was kind of shocking. I usually don't experience much with guys I'm dating. However, I know it's probably not a good idea to take this further, right? I guess I'm hoping somewhere, someone will say it's fine, but common sense tells me he's probably not thinking clearly right now. We look cute together- we fit- if that makes sense. He's very kind and sweet and caring, traits his ex overlooked according to his friends. I think I'm someone who would value him for who he is and care not just for him, but for the kids in the mix (respecting them and their needs first-not dominating their dad's time, not meeting them until it's appropriate, etc.). I guess I just want this to work. Am I crazy? How should I handle this? I'm the first on the scene, which I know from experience is not always a good place to be. I genuinely care for him as a friend as well as feel attracted to him. During our teen years, our friends would tease us because we acted like an old married couple. I always felt their was something special between us, but we never took it to the next level and when he got married I stayed away out of respect for his marriage. What should I do?

You already know the answer. Leave him alone!
He is not even divorced yet and he will need time to heal, I'm sure there's plenty of baggage there.
You do not need to be getting into a rebound situation with him and he does not need to be getting into a substitute situation with you.
Back way off!

He is not divorced yet, and the "staying together for the kids" let us have a poll perhaps on who else besides you really believe he and his wife were not having sex ?

Is this man legally separated? Does he live on his own, or is he still in the family home with his wife and children.

If he is legally separated, has custodial rights in place, and the divorce is all but a signature away?

If you mean by 'he is divorcing his wife', that nothing has taken place, no lawyers have been involved, and he hasn't actually physically separated from his wife, that is an entirely different matter.

If he has gone for several years without intimacy as you have said, the poor guy is likely a sexual sponge right now. To physically get involved with him, just that one point alone, is giving him a false sense of anything remotely even considered 'a relationship' with you.

Him leaning on you, and you encouraging him, will not help, if he is yet to forge his way through the turmoil of a separation and divorce. He needs to put his children first, take care of his business, on his own, learn to be independent of being married, and single again, before you should consider any kind of relationship.

If you can't hold those horses back, and simply help him through this rough time without any expectations, then leave him be until he sorts things out on his own.

If on the other hand, as stated above, he has already been separated for some time, and his life is stable and single, my advice to you would be different.

So, is he talking the talk, or actually walking the walk. Can't be both.

You are too close to be a friend, as the boundaries have been blurred too much already, and as others have pointed out he needs time to heal, and handle his business without you, to even be considered as more than a friend.

You have been down this road before, and well know how getting carried away by feelings leads to a disaster later, so why even be a rebound for a good friend, when you know good, and darn well that this is more you wanting, and him needing, than a real romance.

I guess I'm hoping somewhere, someone will say it's fine, but common sense tells me he's probably not thinking clearly right now
Boy did you say a lot, hope you listen to yourself, and know your both not thinking very clearly.

Leave him alone until you both put your lives in a healthier perspective. Hopefully, much later. I know looks good, and feels right. They all use that as an excuse to jump into something without looking first.

I did end this... but for the doubters, his 'wife' has been in a relationship for over a year. Geez. Jaded much? I'm not stupid or naïve. He is my friend. Whether I'm dating him or not, he is a very sweet guy and his wife wasn't attracted to him. It is really quite common- I've learned this through dating divorced guys. I don't mean to be defensive, but I feel sad for him. Hope his first girlfriend isn't so judgy! I love this guy even though he's not for me right now. I respect myself and I believe true love is strong enough to allow someone else to grow, even if that means he'll fall in love with someone else, but I don't doubt for a minute that he is 100% honest.

Talaniman, you are always spot on! : )

Doesn't matter if he is honest or not, but as a friend he isn't in a good place to have the best judgment about affairs of the heart.

He may be after a proper healing. I can understand caring and wanting to help though. That's a good human quality. BUT..!

Got it. Going on a date with someone else tomorrow. I'm going to give him a real chance. I've been searching for flaws (with the new guy)and realized its because I'm scared. I've realized the allure for the divorcing guy is that I can't have him, therefore I'm safe: from rejection, failure, what have you. I'm learning some things about myself through this process.