mcgreg28
Sep 10, 2010, 09:54 AM
My boyfriend of 5 years and I broke up a month and a half ago. This wasn't our 1st or 2nd breakup either. Our problem initially started with our age difference. He is 10 yrs older than I. In the beginning of our relationship I wanted to move to LA for school and he objected with claims that he was unable to do a long distance relationship. After a year of postponement, I moved away to LA for school (reason for break up # 1). I knew that he would be waiting when I get back, and I was right. While I was in LA we talked everyday and continuously expressed our love for each other. Also, I always spent my school breaks with him. Anyway, we got back together the day I moved back home. Everything was going well until I found out that he lied to me for two straight months while I was in LA. I found out that he had a girlfriend living with him, who he kicked out as soon as he discovered that I was moving back home- this was the reason for break up # 2. We got back together within a month. Soon after, we started to argue constantly. He wanted to get married and start a family and I wasn't ready for that. I didn't agree to the marriage, though I deeply love him, because deep down inside I wasn't ready for a baby. To make a long story short, he ended up cheating. I knew that something was wrong because though he always showed affection towards me his affections went through the roof. He made me breakfast in bed, bought and gave me whatever I wanted, and would always repeat how much he loved me. He would even make weird comments like, “promise me that you will never leave me.” In my ignorance, I promised. My suspicion led me to go through his phone one night while he slept. It was then that I discovered that he had cheated. This led to breakup #3.
Anyway, I went the entire 1.5 months without contact. I made sure he understood that I wanted nothing to do with him. I deleted him from my Facebook and lost contact with his family and friends. I even asked my family to not contact or associate with him. I ignored all his attempts, until yesterday when I lost my phone. You see, I am a medical student and things can get a little expensive; especially, now that I no longer have him to help me with certain expenses. So I contacted him yesterday to ask if he would buy me a new phone. He agreed. Now I am very disappointed in myself for breaking the rule. I wish I had made the decision to go without a phone instead of contacting him. Now I have to start this process all over again!
He is my first boyfriend and first and only love. I just can't understand why I keep going back. Why can't I just forget about him? When I examine my situation, I wonder whether I used my missing cell as an excuse to call him. If I did, and I believe I did, then I must be really pathetic. How long before I completely forget about him?
Anyway, I went the entire 1.5 months without contact. I made sure he understood that I wanted nothing to do with him. I deleted him from my Facebook and lost contact with his family and friends. I even asked my family to not contact or associate with him. I ignored all his attempts, until yesterday when I lost my phone. You see, I am a medical student and things can get a little expensive; especially, now that I no longer have him to help me with certain expenses. So I contacted him yesterday to ask if he would buy me a new phone. He agreed. Now I am very disappointed in myself for breaking the rule. I wish I had made the decision to go without a phone instead of contacting him. Now I have to start this process all over again!
He is my first boyfriend and first and only love. I just can't understand why I keep going back. Why can't I just forget about him? When I examine my situation, I wonder whether I used my missing cell as an excuse to call him. If I did, and I believe I did, then I must be really pathetic. How long before I completely forget about him?