My boyfriend and I started dating and about a week into the relationship tried to have sex but he couldn't stay hard, but like 20 minutes later we were laying on my bed and he was picking on me and he was hard as a rock, is it me am I doing something wrong?

We are living at my boyfriends parents so we can save up for our own place, but we haven't had sex in 7 months and it sucks and I don't know what to do he says he doesn't want to cause its not his house its someone else but yet he still wants me to go down on him or give him a hand job but he won't do anything to me unless he has been drinking I don't understand it I need help!!

Maybe he feel very uncomfortable doing it while they are around or in the house. Maybe he is afraid of getting caught, but thinks he can cover up fooling around. On a second note, does he do anything for you?

No, only when he has been drinking and still then not really at all.

That is messed up. He's getting his, you're giving it to him. Stop doing that. Maybe he will either move sooner or he'll start doing something for you.
He would not get another hand or blow job from me. That is just selfish.

I feel like its me, like he isn't as in to me or he doesn't like having sex with me or something like that, It bothers me so bad!

Hello L,

Or, the next time he wants to fool around, you tell him to give you oral first... twice, before he gets his.

He seems like he is being selfish to me. It doesn't sound like it is you. Like said above, next time, ask for something for you. If he does it, keep that in mind for the future times. If he doesn't then you know he is just wanting to get his and leaving you out,

Hello,

I'm trying to understand your question better.

So you two just started dating. Ok I got that.

How many times has this happened? Just the one time?

Also, what do you mean by picking on you?

When the boyfriend and I first got together he did anything and everything for me,told me I was beautiful, he cuddled with me all night, then after we had sex the first time he started being rude doesn't ever want to do anything with me or for me, its all about his friends when we go out if he gets drunk he calles me names and it was never like this till we had sex for the first time I'm not sure what I did or why he is like this?

I feel like its me, like he isnt as in to me or he doesn't like having sex with me or something like that, It bothers me so bad!

If it bothers you then say something. Don't keep going down on him.
I'm inclined to think he's either gotten lazy or he's getting it elsewhere. But if you are going to stay with him, you'd better start speaking up for yourself. Don't let him use you for a sex toy.

Hello Louise,

Just by reading your other threads, I have come to the conclusion that your boyfriend is a very selfish little boy, who is a waste of your time.

If I were you, I would move on to bigger and better things.

... just saying

Sounds like he got what he wanted and now he's done :(

alot, like tickling me or something like that

That could be away that he gets arroused.

OK, we got drunk together and tried to have sex but he couldn't get hard so we just went back to drinking then after a few hours I got a little to drunk and ended up getting sick and he laid there with me for like an hour helping me and just holding me and got hard then, why when I'm getting sick instead of laying naked right in front of him?

A lot of people are uncomfortable with doing that in their parents house, BUT in your boyfriends case. Sounds like he's willing to break his own rules when he wants something. That's extremely selfish. You need to stand up for yourself. That rule needs to go both ways, If he's not comfortable he shouldn't be asking you for anything sexual at all. But if he is OK with it tell him you have your needs to, it's not fair that just his needs get fulfilled whenever he decides it's OK. Next time he asks, Tell him no way unless he's willing to take care of you too.

I was living with one of my best friends and he moved in with me, and like after a week of him living with me, my mom was having some problems so I went to stay with her and help her out for a week and when I got back there was a riped up condom wrapper under my bed and her dirty thong behind my dresser, he blammed it on her kids but I mean they did get in to everything, and he talked to me every night and he was the one that paid to come get me 5 hours away. One of his bestfriends is also my best friends I met my boyfriend through him and he told me he never has so I'm not really sure what to think any help?!

With what you had to go on, my gut feeling was yes, but then there are the children.
Which brings to mind that if your children are allowed to mess with dirty condoms and dirty underwear you need a better sitter and cleaner friends. That's just disgusting:eek:

Hate to say this but, you have given your heart to a very selfish dysfunctional drunk who gets off on your discomfort, and humiliation. Its not you, but the guy you have chosen to be with. You must be pretty young to accept this kind of behavior, and put up with this very unhealthy situation.

If you stay, expect him to act the same way, and worse, and use you for more of the same.

Get out while you can, or keep suffering, and that would be YOUR fault, not HIS! They can be so nice until they get what they want, and your hooked, then things change quickly. Now you know, so do something about it like leave.

More of the story? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/when-first-got-boyfriend-he-could-never-stay-hard-me-did-do-someth-505595.html

How long ago did this happen?

IF you think he cheated on you, why did you move into his parent's home with him?

Something isn't adding up and I hope it is just the time-line.

Any additional post will be deleted and if its about the same drunk who can't keep it up, stay with this thread instead of starting a new one. We are already confused enough

Sorry I'm new at this, yea these are just questions that I have had for a while now, just wanted some extra advise on what to do, and what you think, I'm 21 and this is the first guy I have ever had done this, he is 23 and I'm his first girlfriend so I just got the impression he just doesn't know what to do when it comes to girls.

Yes, she didn't take care of her kids at all, she let them do anything and everything that they wanted, that's kind of why I put it aside and just believed him, they were always in my room getting into my stuff, digging in the trash.. nasty!

He is also a drunk.

Yea, does that have something to do with it?

Sorry im new at this, yea these are just questions that i have had for a while now, just wanted some extra advise on what to do, and what you think, im 21 and this is the first guy i have ever had done this, he is 23 and im his first girlfriend so i just got the impression he just doesnt know what to do when it comes to girls.

That may be true. He may be completely oblivious to your feelings, which is why you need to sit down and talk to him about it. Telling him YOUR thoughts and your feelings.

From what I have read though in your others posts, it doesn't seem like he cares.

Talk to him. If he is willing to change, then there might be a slight chance he can redeem himself, if not, then you will have your answer.

Trust and communication is the key to a successful relationship. I have said it before in several posts concerning these very same issues.

When two people are in a relationship, you as well as he should be able to express your concerns, your passions, your thoughts, your dreams, your fantasies, so on and so forth, with out feeling pressured or uncomfortable.

He is also a drunk.

Yes, that is a big concern. His drinking.

I must have missed that one, with all of the threads being merged together. Sorry.

I understand he may be your first boy friend and you may not want to give him up. But there have been problems since he's gotten into your pants.
He treats you like a thing and the only time he deals with you sexually is when you're servicing him or he's drunk.
Get a clue girl. The guy is a bum, and a drunk one.
Move back home or where ever but get away from him.
You are in a lose lose situation.

Im his first girlfriend. I've been with a few other guys mainly long relationships.I was just hoping that it was because he hadn't been with any one else is why he acted the way he does

I think he is a creep and wanted to get in your pants, lose his virginity.
Lose him. He is using you and you're letting him.

I agree with everyone here.:)
Please dump him before you get too attached and are unable. He is obviously not good boyfriend material in any way.:rolleyes:

My boyfriend won't have sex with me cause he finishes before I do, what can I do to make myself finish faster, or what do I just do to make him last longer?

Please keep all issues regarding this male in the same thread.

I moved your post to your existing thread since deals with the same person and the issues you are having with him.

Edit to add: Technically I should have reported your thread and had it deleted because Talaniman alread warned you about new posts.


Any additional post will be deleted and if its about the same drunk who can't keep it up, stay with this thread instead of starting a new one. We are already confused enough

How about dumping the drunken creep and getting a bloke who can be bothered to put the effort in? Come on girl you keep posting the same question in slightly different guises in the hope that someone can magically give you a different answer. There's nothing any of us can say that will make your bloke behave better. Only he can do that and it doesn't look like he wants to even try.

This may seem harsh:

I need to know why you are with this person before I answer your last question.

I want you to read your thread from beginning to end. Pay careful attention to what you have written about him.

I need for you to explain to me how it has gone from not having sex for seven months (when he has expected 'favors' without returning them unless he is drunk/drinking) to he won't have sex with you because he 'finishes' faster than you do.

How do you delete your profile from this website?

How do you delete your profile from this website?

You can't. You can stop using it, but you can't delete it.

Why do you want to delete your profile?

This is just not what I thought it was! I thought you asked a question and someone answered it.. I just really don't understand how this whole thing works!

This is just not what i thought it was! I thought you asked a question and someone answered it..i just really dont understand how this whole thing works!

We do answer questions. However, to give the best answers/advice that we can we ask questions. We don't want to give you advice that will get you into a worse situation than you are already in.

Some questions can't be answered with a yes or no or a 'do this... ' Some answers aren't what the questioner expected or wants to hear.

You have gotten answers. You can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do. You can only change yourself. If you change to suit his needs (what you have said of them here), you are doing yourself a disservice and your self-esteem is going to go even lower than it is.

We want to see you be the person you are supposed to be not what you think will make him happy. I honestly don't think you can. It will be thing after another with you taking the brunt of the blame.

Then ill just break up with him

then ill just break up with him

These threads may help you:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-break-up-survive-101-use-you-wish-114179.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/meaning-no-contact-nc-425290.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/nc-rules-faqs-332732.html

We will give you as much advice as we can no matter what you decide to do. Just keep adding to this thread, okay?

I will admit that if you stay, it will probably be the same advice you have already gotten.

Good luck.

You've gotten plenty of answers you just don't want to accept them.
This young man is no good for you. The relationship is not working and you need to exit. You don't seem to want to do that so you are looking for reasons to stay. There are none. He is not going to change for you because he does not want to.
You need to leave him.

I Left him yesterday!!

I Left him yesterday!!!!!

I hope you read those threads about breaking up and that you use No Contact to give yourself time and space to heal.

Good luck.

Thank you!

Thank you!

You're welcome. Take care of yourself.

I Left him yesterday!!!!!

Good for you. Now give yourself time to heal.
I wish you well

We all wish you well. You deserve better.