hello I'm new to this so ill try to keep it simple and short. Im 35 and have been married for 10 almost 11 years. We have had 4 children, 3 of whom are living ages 8, 5, and 2. Over the years my husbands anger has gotten worse. He is a bully by every definition of the word. I could type forever about countless moments and situations but that would just drag on. Most recently I received a black eye on my 8 yr olds birthday and now this same child is now claiming that another family member sexually abused her. My husband and his entire side of his family both sides of his family are very screwed up in the head they are all psychotic I'm so stressed and conflicted I have no idea where I'm supposed to get the strength to do what I need to do for my and my children's safety. My husband is very emotionally and verbally abusive and every time he says anything it escalates to threats on my life he tells me he's going to kill me at least once a week I want so bad to dial 911 but I have been told that I will be dead before they get there help me I need a plan something anything please

I am so sorry you are going through this. It can be hard to leave. Just know that by leaving you will be doing the right thing by your children. They need safety and stability.

You can start here... National Domestic Violence Hotline (http://www.thehotline.org/)

Your child is claiming he/she has been sexually abused!! HELLO-- get up and dig deep and find your mothers courage and if not for yourself then for god sakes do it for YOUR kids. I know what scare means, and I know you think nobody else can even imagine what that all consumming scared of when am I going to get it, not IF, but WHEN. You have to take the first step for you and your kids, and that first step will be hard, but its changing step!!

I hear you I really do the whole story is too long and too complicated but after the police came to our house and spoke with my child it turns out that there may be a chance that she wasn't completely telling the truth to begin with and trying to decipher through all the muck is driving me insane so I wish I had enough energy to write it all out but I don't but you can ask me anything I won't hold back I just need a plan I'm trying to form an exit its like I'm trying to keep the peace so I can make some peace. I don't know I have so much support but its like the first step is so far away its like I'm trying cross a gorge like in an Indiana Jones movie anyway like the first step isn't there like visible but it is like an act of faith I just have to take it BUT IM SO SCARED I WISH SOMEONE WOULD FREAKING PUSH ME ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY!! Thanks for the listening ears thank you

If you really want to leave do it. If you stay it will get worse. Do you have a shelter or a friend you can stay with?

I can give you a hundred reasons for leaving and it scary to be in your situation, but if your serious about leaving you'll find a way.

Good Luck.

You and your kids need to leave NOW. No more waiting. Does somebody have to be badly injured or killed before you have had enough? If you don't have anywhere to go then go to a women's shelter. They can help you find a permanent home, direct you to all the help that is available out there, and protect youand your kids. A reatraining order might also be necessary. This sounds like a dangerous situation that needs action now.

What will it take? A broken arm or a concussion? Maybe he'll break a couple of ribs and you'll have two black eyes. Maybe one good blow to the head from an abuser, will leave you dead. You won't have to worry about it anymore.

Your kids will be stuck with him and they'll be the ones who suffer.
You won't know anything about it cause you'll be dead. I'd say child services will step in after he starts sending then to school with bruises and cuts.


Think about it.

I understand abuse (stepfather). Once this happens it only will get worse and worse is not something that you want to happen.

Him hitting you is completely unacceptable (dam*d coward!). And... your children see this happening can you even imagine how scared they are and how 'marked' emotionally?

Take the advice given to you in the prior posts hon and get out now... before someone gets really hurt, physically and emotionally. It will not get better.

Good luck... run!

Stringer

What do you really need to do to see your way clear of this man, and get your children to a safe place.

They are already being severely affected by the behaviour of your husband toward you, and your inability to deal with it, because of, according to you, your lack of courage.

Put your fears aside, put on your big girl pants, and do any of the following:

1. When he is not home, call your local social services (CPS if you have to), and ask for assistance and guidance in removing yourself, and your children from the home.

2. Call any services for women listed in the phone book. Or call the police, or any emergency department for a referral, even to an emergency phone service. You will be directed.

3. If your local Police Department has victim services, go in, and speak with them. They will advise you, assist you, refer you, and help you leave.

4. Seek counselling from a lawyer as to your legal rghts and obligations, and assistance in securing custody, a restraining order, and financial support from your husband.

5. Call the local welfare office and go in and see a welfare worker, and gather all the information you can on emergency housing, and shelters, funds, etc.

6. Seek help from your family for a temporary refuge until you get your ducks lined up with any and all of the above suggestions.

50 years ago, none of these resources were available to you, but generations of women have worked hard to establish safe houses and resources for women, many women, just like you, to have available to help you get out of an abusive and violent home. You have much available to you to take advantage of, and if you can't do it for yourself, do it for your three children.

You don't have the luxury of being too timid or scared, although nobody would doubt that you are terrified. That has to be set aside for now, if only for the sake of your children.

If you stay, you have every reason to believe his threats, including murder. You won't be the first, nor the last, that has found themselves facing death, at the hands of an out of control husband. And that includes your children.

Am I overstating? I hope so. But are you willing to take more chances?