I'm dating this guy and I fell in love with him when we were just friends and then when we started dating things didn't seem the same he doesn't talk to me as much or come over as much I'm kind of confused and hurt what should I do?

If you don't have the courage to talk to him, in person, and ask him what's going on, and why you are concerned, you are only left with guessing and hurt feelings.

Any relationship has its times and moments, where things are done and said by one, and the other takes the meaning entirely out of context. This could be one of those things.

Or, he may be losing interest for whatever reason, and is preparing to end the relationship.

Either way, you should, in my opinion, the next time he's over, find a quiet place, and talk. Either way, you need to know what's going on with him, and if you don't take the initiative, you won't know.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregnancy-new-motherhood/could-pregnant-505068.html

Could he be waiting to see if your pregnant?? That's what I think.

He doesn't even know there's a chance I'm pregnant cause it wouldn't be his... and anytime I try to talk to him he just drops off the face of the earth for days at a time

So it seems you were in a relationship that has not been long in ending, and you are in a very new one, and to be honest this guy doesn't seem that interested. Why even bother with him at all?

Well if I am pregnant il be almost two months.. well today I told him he doesn't have to be with me but he at least needs to say something so I don't waste my time but he still doesn't say anything I'm just really confused were really good together until he got drunk like a weeek ago and then things seem diff

Scorpio,

What happens if you are pregnant. You will have to tell him. He needs to have the choice whether to stay and see you through the preganancy, and into an entirely different role as a family.

To have him in the dark about this doesn't seem fair to me. Without him knowing, he could turn around, decide to stay, and think things are okay, and then you hit him with a pregnancy, that is not his.

Please go and see your Doctor and find out one way or the other if you are, or aren't pregnant.

I honestly don't see how you can move forward with this relationship, without knowing.

Well I can't tell him anything if he doesn't talk to me? I plan on telling him when I know for sure cause if I'm not that can put a void in our relationship more than there already is

Whether he says anything or not, his actions say he has no interest in you. Him not talking after only just meeting, and being with you is a sign that things are not that great, nor are you that good together.

I hope you back off some, and see what's happening instead of trying to jump from guy to guy and thinking all is well and after two months you still haven't found out if your pregnant or not? That's so totally unbelievable. Does he know of the other guy?

Sound to me like he knows something and is keeping a safe distance, JUST IN CASE of what?? (you going back to the ex?).

I plan on telling him when I know for sure cause if I'm not that can put a void in our relationship more than there already is
There seems to be a void in the relationship already, don't you think?

Yeah he knows about the other guy he's my ex were not together and haven't been for two months.. but he didn't start acting this way until we started dating when we were just friends he was over everyday and night and was blowing up my phone now its three or four texts a day and seeing each other maybe once a week

Is he friends with your ex? Any possible feelings of guilt over possibly being the cause of a relationship breaking up? Perhaps he is seeing symptoms (or something on your computer) that he is putting together to come to the thought that you might be pregnant or still thinking about the ex.

I don't want you to take this the wrong way but you need to slow down, take a deep breath, and look at what you are doing.

You have been broken up with your ex for about two months. You don't know if you are pregnant by him. I am betting that he doesn't know about the possible pregnancy (he should). In those two months, (before that falling in love with your friend would have been emotionally cheating on your ex), you fell in love with your friend and started dating him. When did you allow yourself to heal from the break up? Why are you putting your friend in the position of being a rebound because you haven't dealt with your past and present issues concerning your ex?

What happened while he was drunk that might have caused him to rethink the relationship? I think you may have a better idea of what happened that 'night' if you think about it than you realize. Were you drunk, too?

No I wasn't drunk I wasn't with him he was with his brother.. and no he's not friends with my ex they've met once and I started my period today so I don't think I'm pregnant but I am for sure making a doc appt.I talked to him today and he said he's sure he wants us to be together so lets what happens from here thanks for the help and advice

In my honest opinion you're too young to be dealing with a situation of this magnitude. You first either need to find out on your own if you're pregnant or not, or tell your parents about the possibility of being pregnant and allow them to help you and support you throughout this.

I agree with the other poster your relationship already has a big void in it. There is something going on that he's not willing to talk about and it's upsetting you.

You should end this current relationship and stay away from others in the future until you're ready to handle them and all that comes from it. At 16, you need to figure out who you are before you can add other people and emotions into the mix.

See here's the thing everyone looks at age and decides were to young to know anything I've probably been through a lot more than any of you and I may only be 16 but I'm as mature as a 30 year old and just because me and ex broke up two months ago doesn't mean anything this guy isn't my rebound guy he was someone that was there for me when I needed help and I fell in love with him last time I checked that's not a crime and its my choice to tell him I'm pregnant or not but if and when it needs to be brought up he'l know but as of right now I don't even know if I am so what's the point on telling him and probably running our relationship more

i may only be 16 but im as mature as a 30 year old

A mature 30 year old wouldn't wait two months to find out if they're pregnant or not. Someone in their thirties would take precautions if they weren't financially or emotionally ready for a child as well.

Well sometimes **** happens you can always stop things and as of finding out if I am or not its hard with school and work to make it to the doctors and like I said I started my period so there's a chance that I'm not

well sometimes **** happens you can always stop things and as of finding out if i am or not its hard with school and work to make it to the doctors and like i said i started my period so theres a chance that im not

If you get pregnant you won't have to worry about school. You'll be to be busy changing diapers. You are too young to be having sex. No you're not mature enough to have sex. Why.. because you thought you were pregnant so that tells me you're not using protection. Drinking boyfriend. Grow up. Aids is still out there.

just because me and ex broke up two months ago doesnt mean anything this guy isnt my rebound guy he was someone that was there for me when i needed help and i fell in love with him last time i checked thats not a crime

How old is he?

No, it isn't a crime. Age doesn't stop people from doing things that in hind-sight turn out to be very ill-advised. I have given you the same advice I give the 30 year old who gets herself into the same situation you are in. Slow down.

Rebounds happen because the people in them aren't taking time to work through their issues before they jump into the next relationship. He helped you out after you broke up with your boyfriend. Whether you want to believe it or not, you just described how most rebounds begin.

If you want to be mature, then don't get into the cycle of jumping from one relationship into the next one. Be certain that you aren't transferring feelings and baggage from one person to the next.

Another bit of advice: don't have sex until you are fully prepared to be a parent. NO FORMS of contraception are 100% effective and if you aren't pregnant now, it would be better for your body to wait until it is finished growing to go through childbirth. Right now, you should be focused on getting yourself grown up and not a possible child.

I really don't care what you guys think if I'm pregnant or not I can still finish school and have a job having a baby doesn't have to stop my life and your never to young to have a kid cause I know what I got myself into and I'm willing to deal with it the only thing that matters is my baby is going to be happy and healthy that's what being a mom is about not the age

Don't try to sit down and talking to him, it's too early for that... sometimes guys pull away to evaluate things and see how he feels about you and the relationship. If you get busy with your own life and act with confidence, he'll be back convinced you're the one he wants.

i really dont care what you guys think if im pregnant or not i can still finish school and have a job having a baby doesnt have to stop my life and your never to young to have a kid cause i know what i got myself into and im willing to deal with it the only thing that matters is my baby is gonna be happy and healthy thats what being a mom is about not the age

Take the great advice you have been given. Being a Mom at sixteen isn't romantic. Do you think the guy is going to stick around? I think not. He'll be too busy going to football games and College and dating . Wake up and look at what you have said.

You think you have all the answers and you know all about raising a child. You're a child yourself and not only are you being reckless your acting like a promiscuous little girl.

He has a kid himself so I don't think that's going to be a problem and just because I didn't wait three months to move on doesn't make me reckless sometimes things don't work and somethimes they do but its my life and I'm going to do what I want and I've raised three babies already so I don't think I know about raising a baby I do and its easier with your own cause you have better bond and I have all my family that's going to be here to help me

I've already talked to him and he said he wants to be in this relationship

iv already talked to him and he said he wants to be in this relationship

Do your parents know you're having sex and not using protection? If this guy has a child , I feel sorry for the poor kid.

My point about waiting to get pregnant is as much about your body handling the pregnancy as anything else. Just because you have the ability to get pregnant does not mean you should.

Just because you can get involved with some almost immediately after breaking up with a boyfriend, doesn't mean you should.

One relationship that you should always take time to work on is the one with yourself. What are you involved in outside of a relationship with a boy that helps you feel good about yourself?

I am concerned that you are using this male as a crutch to get over last one. Read some of the other threads on this site and you will see why I advise slowing down and letting yourself heal.

I really do not want to see you make the same mistakes others have especially when there is absolutely no need for you to.

How old is the new boyfriend?

On one post you said you were with a 17 yearold when you were 13? Now you're in a relationship with a guy who has a child.

I would guess he's at least twenty. Am I right?

The new boyfriend is 18 and an great father and I was not trying to get pregnant I'm on the depo shot and like I said I started my period so idkk even if I am I have a doc appt tomrrow

OK you guys can stop hating on me and saying id be a bad mother cause for one I would'nt and two IM NOT PREGNANT I have ovarian cysts.. and who ever said I have stds your totally wrong!

ok you guys can stop hating on me and saying id be a bad mother cause for one i would'nt and two IM NOT PREGNANT i have ovarian cysts..and who ever said i have stds your totally wrong!

No one's hating on you.

You asked for advice and you got it. Unfortunately the advice you received wasn't what you wanted to hear.

A mature person wouldn't have the attitude that people are "hating on me" . They would be thankful that people took the time to give you advice. Whether you like the advice or not.

I don't recall anyone saying you had STD's either.

You really need to grow up before you start having grown up relationships. That means keeping your legs closed until you have the capacity financially, emotionally and mentally to raise a child.

IMO :mad:

Another case of a person wanting her behavior to be justified, not looking for advice.

Another "want to be" Mom who can barely spell, thinks she can provide financially for a child.

And then there's the whole emotional issue.

Sad, indeed.

OP you're a mean little girl! Don't try to justify what you're doing by
Striking out at the those who are trying to help you.

You're acting like a five year old who didn't get a lollipop.

I am not an angry child thank you very much I don't take bull**** from anyone and I stand up for what I believe in and how the hell am I a meann little girl you're the one that said I have stds you shouldn't talk about someone you know nothing about it seems like the poor little babies feeling are hurt cause I spoke the truth!

ScOrPio, whether you take the advice or not is your prerogative, however, I am going to say again that you need to 'slow down' and build a relationship with yourself.

You haven't answered my question about what you do-outside of relationships-that helps you feel good about you. Is there anything?

While it is good to stand up for yourself, there are better ways of doing it. You came here looking for advice, but have become very defensive. You could learn a lot from these posts if you could calm down and read them. You don’t have to agree with everything, but there are definitely a lot of things you can learn about yourself and life from the people here. We all want to help you lead a better life. I think it would help you a lot to read some of the other stories on here by girls/women older than you that are not on the right track and are paying for it now or have in the past.

So many teens are not putting their priorities in the right place. Sure, it is fun to have a boyfriend and it’s tempting to do “adult” things. I understand that. I’m not that far away from my teenage years (28 now). I was lucky enough to have parents that guided me through those years, and I listened to them because I knew they wanted the best for me. I’m not so sure you will be open to what I have to say, but I hope you will at least consider it. At 16, your priorities should be involved around becoming the best adult you can be. That includes getting a good education; developing your belief system; working part-time; developing good relationships with your friends and family; being honest, loyal and dependable – as a start. I understand that you want a good social life, and I understand that is important at any age, but you also need to understand that the decisions you make now will affect the rest of your life.

Having a baby at age 16 is not a great choice, for you or the child. It would affect your schooling and your choices of future relationships. I’m glad it looks like you are not pregnant, and I hope you will take the steps to avoid pregnancy until you are older and in a stable relationship. I know when I was your age I put a lot of time into thinking about the type of life I wanted – which included college, a great career, and eventually to get married and have children of my own. For me, I knew that I wanted to wait until I was much more mature before getting married or having children. We all make mistakes, but the important thing is to learn from those mistakes and make better choices in the future. Part of learning is thinking about what you want and part is listening to others who can help you think of things you may not be aware of yet. There’s no shame in that – you are 16 and have a lot to learn. We all do, no matter what our age.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Just Looking again.

Very well said.

Ever notice the more defiant the OP is the more "mature" he/she thinks he/she is?

I see an attitude here that I can't quite believe - plus she keeps accusing me of saying she has an STD, something I never said.

So - not only is OP defiant, she's a liar.

Moderator - going nowhere? Time to close?

(And mothers in or around Welches, Oregon - lock up your sons OR provide them with very reliable birth control and glue that method of birth control to them. This could be your nightmare tomorrow.)

See now if everyone could be like just looking I would have a problem.and I never said that judykaytee said I had stds kitkat did my point here is I came for advice on my relationship not to be told I'm to young to have a kid when I made it very clear several times I'm not pregnant and seriously I'm on birth control so judykaytee if you don't mind stay out of my business your not mother I came for advice and that's it

see now if everyone could be like just looking i would have a problem.and i never said that judykaytee said i had stds kitkat did my point here is i came for advice on my relationship not to be told im to young to have a kid when i made it very clear several times im not pregnant and seriously im on birth control so judykaytee if you dont mind stay out of my business your not mother i came for advice and thats it


Don't even PRESUME to direct who will answer you questions and in what manner. When you're a moderator (or even an Expert), then you can try that.

You followed MY post with your STD comment.

And you are right, I'm not your mother. My children can spell and punctuate, don't have attitude and, in fact, are successful, self-supporting, educated professionals. They aren't 16, thinking they know it all. In fact, when they were 16 they didn't think they knew it all.

Once you post "your business" on AMHD it DOES become my business. If you don't want my input, stop posting.

I have asked that the thread be closed.

ScOrPio, I hope you have a great school year.

The consensus advice was to take care of yourself, and slow down with playing adult games so you DOM"T get pregnant, and DON'T GET an STD!

Its your choice to do the mature thing for yourself.


This thread is closed, enough arguing.

i really dont care what you guys think if im pregnant or not i can still finish school and have a job having a baby doesnt have to stop my life and your never to young to have a kid cause i know what i got myself into and im willing to deal with it the only thing that matters is my baby is gonna be happy and healthy thats what being a mom is about not the age

I had to respond to this complete and utter piece of hogwash. Yes its true that some girls do manage to be a pregnant teen and finish school and get a good job and raise their child. But those are by far the exception not the rule. Being a mom is very much about age and the fact that you don't know it tells how little you really know about life. Being a pregnant teen makes the likelihood that your baby will NOT be happy or healthy very large.

You clearly didn't come here genuinely looking for advice because you've rejected the very good advice you've been given.

Therefore this thread is closed.