3 year old was punched in the stomach by 7 year old cousin.

The parents did not do much about it. The cousin denied it but the boy was sore and crying.

Split second of not watching the children and this 7 year old is a bully. What to do? My son seems happy and okay now. Just not sure how hard it was...

The cousin needs his rear end warmed up. Don't worry it happens, but he'll meet his match.
He's a bully and I would be upset too.

To see him crying like that and asking to go home. Also I do not know how hard he was punched. Man, I know I or us can not protect him all the time and their always be some type of bully. I just wished that he did not have to experience any of that. It hurts to see that. How upset he was, etc... I think the kid (cousin) is evil myself.

To see him crying like that and asking to go home. Also I do not know how hard he was punched. Man, I know I or us can not protect him all the time and their always be some type of bully. I just wished that he did not have to experience any of that. It hurts to see that. How upset he was, and etc... I think the kid (cousin) is evil myself.

Your little boy will be fine. The cousin will go on doing this as long as the parents allow it. As I said Bullying starts at an early age and this kid sounds like a little troublemaker.

You need to sit downa and discuss this with your cousin, not just for the sake of son, but the boy is showing early signs of aggression. Which could develop into some horrible thask the little boy why he hit and explain to him the consequences of his action. Good luck. God servant Ala

So don't invite them over again, explain to the parents that hitting is not proper for a older child to be doing to a 3 year old.

If they don't seem to care and if they don't want to properly punish the 7 year old, then again just don't have them over.

Now in my house, I would have given he 7 year old a time out in the corner myself, if the parents had not done anything and told the parents if they did not like it, they could go home if they said anything

It happened at their house. The parents do not seem to know or want to discipline there children.

It happened at their house. The parents do not seem to know or want to discipline there children.

I know they're your friends, but I wouldn't take my son around the bratty kid. If they come to your house and he starts ,tell him his actions aren't acceptable. If they can't make him mind, you do it at your house.
If they don't like it, they can leave and wait till he turns fourteen in juvie.:eek:

It happened at their house. The parents do not seem to know or want to discipline there children.

Since the three year old can not protect himself against a seven year old, and the parents are not interested in intervening, you will have to do it yourself. Since they are family, it is likely you will visit again. I would say something to the seven year old in front of his parents about making sure he keeps his hands to himself and plays appropriately. It doesn't have to be accusatory... you could tell him that if he gets angry he needs to use his words and not his hands... that you will not accept his hitting the three year old. Then stay close by to observe how they interact. They do not go off and play in the seven year old's room for example.

Otherwise you may have to just tell the parents that you aren't comfortable having the three year old there because of this incident and you will supervise at your own home for the time being.

Before we go any further...

What precipitated this event?

To many 7 year olds, 3 year olds can be difficult. Now, I am in NO WAY defending the 7 year old, BUT I have had four of them at one time or another and they can be annoying to older kids.

Did little J do something to annoy the cousin?

Joe, you are just getting beyond the terrible two's (I can't believe it's been that long... time goes by so fast).

Have you talked to the parents? If not, you need to.

Well both cousins the 3 year old and 7 year old was watching TV in the bedroom and he just wanted to be included. He went to join him and The older one gave him a hard time. So he came out upset. Then The father told her to let him join with them to watch the movie. So he went to join them and next thing you know he comes out crying and saying he wants to go home.

This seven year old is known to be a bully and beat on the younger sister ALL THE TIME. This seven year old, I consider ----l. This person steals, lies and beats on others. Wants all the attention and has said a lot to me and others that well is not normal for that age.

This cousin is very hateful, spiteful and acts all innocent in front of the parents but is truly truly ----. The parents are clueless.

Well both cousins the 3 year old and 7 year old was watching tv in the bedroom and he just wanted to be included. He went to join him and The older one gave him a hard time. So he came out upset. Then The father told her to let him join with them to watch the movie. So he went to join them and next thing you know he comes out crying and saying he wants to go home.

This seven year old is known to be a bully and beat on the younger sister ALL THE TIME. This seven year old, I consider evil. This person steals, lies and beats on others. Wants all the attention and has said a lot to me and others that well is not normal for that age.

This cousin is very hateful, spiteful and acts all innocent in front of the parents but is truly truly evil. The parents are clueless.




Joe if they don't get that kid under control he'll end up hurting his sister.
Hope your son is all right.

Couple of thoughts:

If they are that clueless, it would be helpful for them to get the news from someone thaty respect... but they will get a clue from someone. I am sure the school has mentioned something by now... unless it is only at home.

If the parents are not clueless, and they know what is going on, they may pick their battles and not really understand that this is beyond normal as this might be normal for them.

I would talk to the parents out of concern for the child. Tell them why you are worried (they seem stressed, they have a lot on their plate, etc) due to their child and if need any support. That might work BETTER than just telling them you are upset. But they still might not like the topic.

Parents who have a difficult child need support and non-judgemental friends/family. They may be embarrassed and play it off in front of others but may be really struggling in private.

But I do think it would be helpful to somehow say something. Or wait until you see something next time.

I'm really having an issue with everyone calling a seven year old child evil. He's a child. He's only 7! :(

I know it's hard to see your child hurt, and the claws come out, big time Mother or Father bear time, but, this is a child. How can anyone say that a 7 year old child is evil, a bully, and instead of doing something to help the child learn, just hate him because he's not learning proper manners from his parents. :(

I hate to burst any bubbles, but if there's one parent on this site that has a perfect child that never acts out, that never does anything wrong, than that person should feel free to point fingers, but everyone else should realize that this is a child, and no child is perfect, they all do things they shouldn't.

I think it's time to sit back and think. You don't have to like the child. You definitely should do something to make your feelings about this known, and to tell the 7 year old that it's not okay to hit, but, let's not label a 7 year old child as evil. Please.

If you knew the child, you would be thinking differently. At the same time the major factor is the parenting.

We have said things before because there were other incidents. We were told to stay out of it, but when it has to do with my child's safety. I or my wife has every right to say something.

My buddy was truly hurt physically and by his feelings. He still does not say bad about anybody and still loves his cousins. All he says is my cousin really hurt me and his feelings.

If you knew the child, you would be thinking differently. At the same time the major factor is the parenting.

I doubt it Joe. He's a child. Evil is something that cannot apply to a child. He may be a brat, he may not have learned good manners, he may have issues, but evil? His issues aren't that he's evil, it's that no one cares enough to help him learn to be good.

I have met many kids that I don't want my children around, no doubt about it, and yes, it's the parenting that's the issue, the child is just a product of that parenting.

I guess we have to disagree on this.

Personally, I feel really sorry for the 7 year old. He's stuck in a situation where he's obviously not learning to be a good human being, and no one cares. :(

Wondergirl agrees : I have a niece who, when she was only three, we aunties said was going to end up as a sociopath with major life problems -- and she did and she has. Evil? Maybe not, but definitely mental illness. A conscience and empathy seem to be missing.

WG, I understand what you're saying, but still, this is a child. He is an aggressive child, but to call him evil isn't right. I realize you didn't, but others did, and it bothers me. It's a child!

To Joe. Has your son ever hit anyone? I'm betting he has. All kids hit at one time or another. If he hasn't yet, he will, mark my words. Just fyi, my kids have.

This child is 7, his life isn't set, and labeling him will only further what you believe he is. In other words, you're setting him up to be evil.

This child needs direction. I have a neighbor whose daughter is 2 years older than Syd. They used to play together, but this girl was constantly bullying and hurting Syd. Syd would tell me she didn't want to play with the girl anymore. I told Syd she had to decide this on her own. Eventually Syd had enough and now they're no longer friends.

They did often have fun together, but those times where few and far between. This child would come over and kill your dog and when you scold her she'll just smile at you (just a scenario, she hasn't killed any animals that I know of ;)).

Here's the thing. This child has never had stability or discipline. Her parents divorced before she was born, and she's been tossed from one home to the other, each parent trying to outdo the other. Not with love, but with stuff. Her sister (a teen) has been in juvie 4 times. She's 16 now and lives with her little sister and mother.

The mother doesn't want to discipline because every time she does, the child, who isn't stupid, says "if you punish me, I'll tell daddy and he'll let me live with him". They're playing tug of war and she's the rope. The fact is, in this game, the rope learned how to manipulate both players.

When she came to my house she got away with nothing. I made her leave a few times because she wouldn't follow my rules.

The fact is, she's a brat, but she's not evil. I could never use that term for a child! She needs to learn what's acceptable, but she's not receiving that education at home.

Yes, I'm upset about this. I just can't believe that anyone would label a 7 year old child as evil. It's just wrong. I still feel for this child because no one cares enough to help him. It's far easier to sit back and hate him. :(

When I was a kid, I had four older male cousins with whom I was very close to. We not only lived close but we played with each other every day. I was the youngest, and the age gaps between each of us was two years.

They grew up rough housing, pushing, shoving, fighting and punching. Were they evil? No, they were kids and they were boys. I was once locked in a barn with 4 German Shepherds as a kid, for hours. I was terrified, and it still haunts me and I often dream about it. The cousin who did that to me, is now one of my best friends and we speak on the phone daily.

I sometimes bring up the occasion to bug him, and I can see remorse in him, and he still apologizes to me. At the time, he laughed, wouldn't say he was sorry, called me a cry baby and made fun of me in front of his friends. His actions were mean, but he did not turn into a holy terror, and is now working his way up in rank in the Military and even becoming a airplane mechanic.

When he was 17 he witnessed a car accident, and pulled 3 people out of a car before it burst into flames. He could not save the driver, and even though he received a major honorable mention by not only the mayor, but a hand shake from the Prime Minister, he is still haunted by the death of the one occupant of the car.

No I don't think violence is acceptable, and yes I think it should be addressed, but I also think that kids are going to get hurt, whether it's by the hand of another or by their own actions, they will get hurt. I also think that if a child doesn't have the right guidance and is in fact being labeled, they will in fact live up to that label given.

Again, yes I think that his parents should address this situation, and do you for a fact know it wasn't addressed after you left?

I care, but I am not this child parent or things would be a lot different.

e·vil (vl)
adj. e·vil·er, e·vil·est
1. Morally bad or wrong; wicked: an evil tyrant.
2. Causing ruin, injury, or pain; harmful: the evil effects of a poor diet.
3. Characterized by or indicating future misfortune; ominous: evil omens.
4. Bad or blameworthy by report; infamous: an evil reputation.
5. Characterized by anger or spite; malicious: an evil temper.
n.
1. The quality of being morally bad or wrong; wickedness.
2. That which causes harm, misfortune, or destruction: a leader's power to do both good and evil.
3. An evil force, power, or personification.
4. Something that is a cause or source of suffering, injury, or destruction: the social evils of poverty and injustice.
adv. Archaic
In an evil manner.


Let me point out the highlights.

Morally bad, wicked, tyrant, blameworthy, infamous, malicious, wickedness, source of suffering, etc. etc.

Satan was evil. A 7 year old is not. :(

I did not say I hate this person.

Lets be clear. This kid is a bully and beats on the younger sister. This person is an out right hateful spiteful jealous person. Steals, lies and bullies and more.


This person I do not trust, this person hurts other people on purpose just to hurt them. Just to see others suffer... and in pain...

As far as my son, he has never hit anyone else, but you know what if he did. Guess what he would be getting a major message and punishment. The difference is he knows even at close to 4 what is wrong and right.

This seven year old IS...

I have never labeled this person as evil to the parents or to the cousin.

This is me sharing my thoughts to all of you.

So this label this cousin does not even know they have. Do I feel and think this way. Yes, and very good reason.

Joe.. I gave you an agree on your post. I've been thinking about a thread a while back and a lady said her stepson was evil and "The Omen".
It made me sick. I have to say your cousins are to blame for the way he is and they are letting him grow up hitting and bullying so he thinks it's OK
It isn't. I think this child may have some deep issues and needs a child psychologist. If he isn't brought to task he'll end up in juvie before he's thirteen years old.

I do think he is a brat and a bully. I also think there is something wrong with a child who finds pleasure in hitting or hurting another child.
My own kids were brats at times, but they soon learned how far they could push us. I don't think a child is born evil at all. I do think he needs help before he gets in trouble at school and is suspended and yes he can be expelled if he bully's another child.

Meet with his parents and tell them your concerns. Tell them he needs help. They may listen. He is only seven and hasn't had much discipline.
He isn't evil Joe, he needs limits and help. Who knows what's going on
With the parents.

I did not say I hate this person.

Lets be clear. This kid is a bully and beats on the younger sister. This person is an out right hateful spiteful jealous person. Steals, lies and bullies and more.


This person I do not trust, this person hurts other people on purpose just to hurt them. Just to see others suffer... and in pain...

As far as my son, he has never hit anyone else, but you know what if he did. Guess what he would be getting a major message and punishment. The difference is he knows even at close to 4 what is wrong and right.

Joe, are you hearing what you're saying?

"This person I do not trust", "This person hurts other people on purpose", "this kid is a bully", "This person is an out right hateful spiteful jealous person". Did you forget that this person is 7?

This is one of Gods creations. You're a believer, right? I'm not, yet I'm more willing (or so it seems) to see the potential good in this person. I find it really upsetting that someone could call a 7 year old all the things you've called him and do nothing about it.

You said you don't hate him. Really? Are you sure? The things you've said about him are not things caring people say about others.

If this was an adult, I'd be on your side. I'd say you, this man is evil and he needs help. But, this is a SEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD!!

I guess he'll just have to live up to the potential that's been bestowed on him. Sadly, no one cares enough to teach him a different way, to make him into the man he can be. So yes, in the end, he'll be exactly what you said he is. Evil.

It's takes a village to raise a child. Sadly this village seems to only look out for their own.

Yes, I'm mad. Still adore you, but this has me really upset. I would hope that if my children needed help, someone would care enough to help them. I have no parents, I have no siblings, I'm barely included in my own family. I have friends, many of which I know would be there for my kids if I couldn't be. That's all the brings me peace of mind. I see this child as a lost little sheep, and no one gives a damn to put in the effort to find him.

I've said my peace. I'm sorry your son was hurt. I've been there too. When Jared was 2, his 4 year old cousin pulled his arm out of it's socket. It was 4 hours of excruciating pain, driving from one doctor to another before my poor little guy had it put back in place. He remembers that to this day, 10 years later.

I was mad enough to rip the head of that 4 year olds body. How dare he hurt my little man? But on the drive back from the doctors I realized something. The child was 4. He's a child. He wasn't taught differently, so how can I expect more from him? When I got home I talked to him about what he'd done.

Now he's 14 and a wonderful kid. Poo happens. When it involves kids there has to be some leeway, because they're kids.

So, continue to think this child is evil, do nothing, and watch him live up to your expectations, or, take the more difficult road and help him.

I guess this is where I expect Christians to live up to all the things they say.

I totally agree with you, Altenweg. My advice was to talk to the parents out pf concern rather than anger.
But sometimes people need to vent, right? THis can be a place to vent. Joe, admit you are venting and maybe tomorrow you will be able to see more clearly what Alten is saying. I think her words feel like she is dismissing your feelings. She is not, just realize this kid needs help.

Ok, this ended up being a peacemaker post!

I do have to ask Joe. If you knew how "evil" he is, that he's a bully, a liar, a thief, etc. etc. why would you let your son be in a room with him without parental supervision?

I totally agree with you, Altenweg. My advice was to talk to the parents out pf concern rather than anger.
But sometimes people need to vent, right? THis can be a place to vent. Joe, admit you are venting and maybe tomorrow you will be able to see more clearly what Alten is saying. I think her words feel like she is dismissing your feelings. She is not, just realize this kid needs help.

Ok, this ended up being a peacemaker post!

Yelo, I agree. I guess it upsets me because I reserve the word evil for people like Hitler, Mike Vick, Osama, etc. etc. I cannot understand how anyone could use a term like that for a child.

You should know that Joe and I are good friends. I adore him, I really do. I just cannot wrap my head around someone calling a child evil.

It's like the word hate. There are many things I dislike, but to say that I hate a human being is something I reserve for the worst of the worst. Evil is the same way, it's a word not to be used lightly. I can't imagine looking at a 7 year old child and comparing him to Hitler, which is what the use of that word makes me feel.

Venting is fine. Trust me, if I had this site the day my sons arm was pulled out of it's socket, I would have vented like no ones business. But, never would I have called the 4 year old who did it evil. A brat. Yes. In need of a good spank. Yes. But evil? Again, that's a word I cannot and will not associate with a child.

You know what Alty,

We lived with this family for three months.

You know what we have tried many things to help them out to talk to them to explain to them what has been going on.

You know what they will not listen, they will not listen to us, their child's counselor. They will not take any advice about any of them or from any of us.

They are right. Everybody else is wrong. Kids will be kids.

You know what they have two children. The younger child can be a brat and can cause trouble but is a beautiful child.

Their three year old is an amazing child. That is who my little buddy wants to be around. I do not want to completely cut ties off because of an older person.

Do I leave my son their on his own NO. They were in the room for TV, and within minutes it started. So your saying I am to blame for THIS COUSIN behavior because I left them together in the room for a few minutes.

You know what when your having parents tell Myself and My wife of all of our faults all the time. Yet when we have talked about the behavioral they coddle their children and reward them for their bad behavior. ALL THE TIME.

You know what I can not tell you the whole story over a year, your going by only the little bit I have told you but hey. If I am too blame for another kids behavior then may as well BLAME ME FOR EVERYTHING ELSE.

Now I am really getting upset with this. Why did I even share this and trust this with you guys I do not understand.

This person, DOES NOT HAVE ANY LABEL ON THEM. Not from ANYBODY. There was NO HOSTILITY TOWARDS THIS CHILD. When I am their I am open and polite and nice to this child. When I am here sharing you my concerns and telling you what I think of that child. I am telling you what I KNOW ABOUT THIS CHILD. Not anybody else.

I am just telling you all what this person is like and the extreme behavior, conscience in their I do not think so.

MY fault I do not think so. My Responsibility NO. My Child No.

I am going to focus on Raising my son, the Best I can and make sure he knows right from wrong, and limit the time there a lot more closely then before.

So I am not a caring person according to you, eh Alty. Well that is just lovely. I honestly think I care too much. That is my problem.

Goodnight everyone.

I think that you should take the other advice that was given to you. If yo do not like Alten's advice, then just do not respond to it.

That happens a lot on here. People do not like an answer and they repond. When I posted, I did not like ALL responses.

You do care... it is a sad situation for this family and you need to let it be theirs. Sometimes hearing things over and over is what they need. Keep telling them how you feel and keep acting concerned. People respond to concern, not anger. You just might save this child. :)

Joe sometimes I think we are tested in this life. Do you think God may have put you in this position because you may be the only hope this little child has. II woke up and saw what Alty said about Christians and she's right.True Christians love and forgive. We fail every day but the Lord still blesses us. People do watch our lives everyday to see how we react. The people we come in contact with everyday in our town or city, where ever we live.

There are times I get really mean with my answers and responses on this forum but it has to be that way sometimes. I pray a lot. This little boy needs someone who can see he needs help and you may be the one who can turn him around. Talk to him the way you talk to your own son and tell him how much it hurts to see him hit someone smaller or disobey his parents. He may listen and he may change and become a better child.

You've raised your son with values and boundaries and the seven year old hasn't had the advantage of having a Dad who does that. Just think about it and pray about and the Lord will show you how to deal with this.
It has to be with love and compassion and I know you have that in your heart.

Joe, I never said it was your fault, I simply asked why you left your son alone with this child when you have stated that he's a bully, a thief, a liar, no conscience and more. If you knew this before the incident, which you said you did, than I can't understand how you could trust this child with your son for even a minute. After Jared had his arm pulled out of it's socket by my cousins child, I never let them be alone together again for fear that something worse would happen.


I do not want to completely cut ties off because of an older person.

But the child isn't an "older" person. He's only 7 years old. That's what's bothering me about this whole thing. You are so hostile towards this child. I understand why, I really do. He hurt your little boy, but, he too is just a child and obviously something is going on to make him lash out the way he does. Instead of sympathy, instead of compassion, you call him evil. That's not okay Joe.

Joe, you always pride yourself on the fact that even as friends people on this site should be allowed to disagree. Is that true, or is that only the case when you're the one disagreeing?

I have an extreme problem with anyone calling a child evil. Maybe you need some history on me in order to understand why.

That word and a few others are reserved for the worst of the worst. Evil is satan, Hitler, Mike Vick, Osama bin Laden. Evil is not a child, no matter how many people he hits. When I saw that you referred to this child as evil I was shocked. I couldn't believe that a Christian would use that term to describe a seven year old child.

I'm sorry you're so upset by this. I am too.

Obviously you don't want my input so I'll leave after this post. I wish I could agree with you, that would make life easier, but I don't. A real friend can handle disagreement. If I don't agree I will speak my mind. If you can't handle that, than there's nothing left to say.

I wish you all the best.

Joe... since you and your wife feel this child can be a danger to your child, both physically and emotionally, let alone a poor role model, simply tell her parents that the children will no longer be playing, watching TV, anything, unsupervised. Voice your concern about the child's choices in behaviour, share any helpful suggestions, whatever... but plain and simple, the children are not left unsupervised until things change. Again, your three year old can not speak up adequately for himself so you will have to do it for him.

Might the parents be upset? Sure, but they will either finally grasp the seriousness of their child's behaviour and do something about it, or they won't. Either way, your child will be protected.

I will try this again. I AM NOT HOSTILE TOWARDS THIS CHILD.

I simple have spoken to you guys what I feel and think. Have NEVER ONCE EVER BEEN mean, angry or anything towards this child, towards the parents or towards the cousin directly. So to say that I am hostile towards the child is untrue.

I guess I have one more thing to post. :(

Hos·tile
   /ˈhɒstl or, especially Brit. -taɪl/ Show Spelled[hos-tl or, especially Brit. -tahyl] Show IPA
–adjective
1.
Of, pertaining to, or characteristic of an enemy: a hostile nation.
2.
opposed in feeling, action, or character; antagonistic: hostile criticism.
3.
Characterized by antagonism.
4.
Not friendly, warm, or generous; not hospitable.
–noun
5.
A person or thing that is antagonistic or unfriendly.
6.
Military. An enemy soldier, plane, ship, etc.

The bold part is the definition that fits, IMO. Calling a child evil is hostile criticism, again IMO.

Thank you for your opinion Alty, and I will say this publicly to you. Also to others that do not think I appreciate Alty view on this.

I will say that in no way was Altys posts thoughts or feelings or opinions unwanted. THEY WERE AND STILL ARE WANTED. If I did not want opinions or feelings or thoughts on this subject I would have never posted it here in the first place.

Debates, disagreements, or difference in opinions does not change anything at all.

I always will, and always be a person that can get quite heated and stand by what I say even if friends or others do not agree and even get upset or hurt or heated. That does not ever change anything with me, nor would I ever ever, treat a friend like that. By ending things or discontinuing friendship over disagreements. That is just NOT ME.

True Friends always always stay close. No fallout truly exist with real friends. Friends can always get into arguments, disagreements, get upset and not agree but would NEVER change my thoughts or feelings about the friendship.

I thank you Alty, because your past post actually made me laugh because you were returning a definition post that I made with a definition post of your own.

The reason why I have not wrote more is been short on time.
I really wanted to write a pm earlier but did not have too much time.

Now that is all said, hope you all aware of where I stand.

Amen, too that.

Joe....since you and your wife feel this child can be a danger to your child, both physically and emotionally, let alone a poor role model, simply tell her parents that the children will no longer be playing, watching tv, anything, unsupervised. Voice your concern about the child's choices in behaviour, share any helpful suggestions, whatever....but plain and simple, the children are not left unsupervised until things change. Again, your three year old can not speak up adequately for himself so you will have to do it for him.

Might the parents be upset? Sure, but they will either finally grasp the seriousness of their child's behaviour and do something about it, or they won't. Either way, your child will be protected.

All I have to say is beautiful post. I completely agree and thank you. We always tried to keep an close eye on everything and that being said never leaving him there at their house without one of us there.

It looks like though after this incident they can not ever ever be left alone and that we will make sure never happens again. Thank you again for your post.

True Friends always always stay close. No fallout truly exist with real friends. Friends can always get into arguments, disagreements, get upset and not agree but would NEVER change my thoughts or feelings about the friendship.

I agree. I'm glad you feel that way too.


I thank you Alty, because your past post actually made me laugh because you were returning a definition post that I made with a definition post of your own.

I often post definitions if someone doesn't agree with a word that I used, just to clarify why I used that word. It has nothing to do with you posting a definition on this thread. But, if it made you laugh for some reason, great, I'm glad.

And that's where I stand.