View Full Version : Why hasn't he actually arranged a date or am I just getting the signals wrong?
xxsamxx110
Sep 5, 2010, 07:57 AM
Ok. A guy added me online. We have a couple of mutual friends but not that I really hang around with. We are both 22. I've not met him in person. So he added me. A few days later was talking online. Asked me to send him a text message (gave me his number) spoke every day until I finally sent him a message. Still spoke often online or text and once on webcam. He was flirty telling me how beautiful I am, stunning, how I've got “the lot” etc... and how he wants us to meet up. He had mentioned this a few times. E.g. was saying he wanted to go to the beach and was I going to take him lol. I said no I don't know you well enough... with a reply well we will have to do something about that and how he wants us to meet up. He had mentioned this quite a few times. I don't work Fridays or the weekend. Friday morning I was woken at about 5.30 by a text from the guy saying "can you meet me in ... (town) I want to meet you.” I didn't reply till about 7.30 when I got up. Checked my emails and found a message on there aswel. He sent it at about 4.50am before the text the message said "am not 2 bad Hun can me u go out for the day?? " which I replied saying when and where was you thinking? I never got a reply to that. I left it. I finally got a message Saturday afternoon saying Hi Hun what you up to? Was texting a bit and had to stop as I was driving and text saying I'll let you know when I'm back. Sent a text letting him know I was back and I've heard nothing since. Now he has loads of friends on him list. Yesterday when texting he even asked what I was doing that night which I replied saying nothing planned, u? Which he said I might go out for a drink. Thought he might have asked me to join him but he didn't. This morning on his status he has put "don't get it woman go on about u don't open up to them when u do your in wrong c.b.a no more your all the same". Well it wasn't me he was opening up to so I'm guessing he was out with somebody else. He is down as single and has told me he is single. Someone I work with knows him and has said he's a good lad but am I getting it all wrong? Why would he ask to meet me and then not bother to reply? Texting me but then just suddenly stops. I'm so confused. I'd really like to meet him and see how things go but I'm not sure what he actually wants now.
Sorry it's so long.
beachloverjohn
Sep 5, 2010, 11:40 AM
He sounds like he might be playing games with you. Maybe he's very shy. I don't know. But don't make yourself so availabe' better to let him chase you. Just my opinion.
talaniman
Sep 6, 2010, 06:23 AM
In your last post you had a low self esteem, and body image problem that stopped YOU from accepting offers to meet your online connection. Now it seems you have an online connection who isn't that forthcoming with asking you out.
I hope you have resolved your own image issues, but now I think that for one you have to be a lot more direct with this fellow, or you may never meet, but on the other hand, he doesn't seem like he wants to chase you at all, but wants you to chase him.
I don't know, but I would certainly find out, so you can stop wondering what the deal is. Be direct, and ask him what's up, and be ready to move beyond him. Maybe your not his only text buddy. Maybe he shouldn't be your only option for text buddies either.
xxsamxx110
Sep 6, 2010, 01:07 PM
Thanks. Yeah Im working on how I feel about myself. I go to the gym 5 times a week and slowly feeling better about the way I look although I have my bad days and still feel nervous when it comes to other peoples opinions of me. I thought it was quite a big deal him wanting to meet me and I had worked myself up to meet him and not put it off like I would normally.
It has only been about 2 days not in touch. Im not very upfront, think it comes with how shy I am. How can I put it without being pushy? That is the reason I havent really chased as such. I dont want to seem needy or anything. I was thinking of just leaving it for a bit and see if he gets back to me. I dont really know what else is going on.
I do talk to others but just seemed to really hit it off with this guy. I guess Im just not sure whether he really does want me to chase or isnt all that interested. Do guys like lasses to do the chasing? The main bit confusing me was the asking me to meet up by email and another message about half an hour later also asking me to meet up but no reply to when I asked when he wanted to meet. I got the impression that he was interested?? So whats the next step?
talaniman
Sep 6, 2010, 01:19 PM
Forget him until his words and actions match and seek other chat buddies. Better to see what other options and opportunities for fun and romance than waste time over one that is confusing.
Talaniman Rule - Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall. 18- 80, blind, cripple or crazy.
Life is to short to waste time on ifs, maybes, and whys!! What he does is not relevant to what you do for yourself. Don't let yourself be stuck on one person who has other things besides you to do!
Talaniman Rule- Don't play games with your heart, and don't let somebody else play games with it either.
Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, that's just plain crazy.
I wish
Sep 7, 2010, 11:46 AM
This should prove to you that he's not a very reliable person. He says one thing, but doesn't follow through. He's not off to a very good start. Are you sure that's what you want?
Homegirl 50
Sep 7, 2010, 01:29 PM
I would not waste another minute or another text on someone so rude.
xxsamxx110
Sep 12, 2010, 04:59 AM
Ok, so just to update. I didnt contact him and on the 7th (Tue) I got a text from him.
So Tuesday we were talking (texting) for hours. He sent me a picture and asked for mine. Said I was fit and would love to kiss my lips. Suggested meeting up and watching a DVD with a glass of wine.
Later on still texting he said "we should meet up 1 day watch a DVD at yours something xxx" which I replied. Could do. Which he said "Up to you arent it sexy? xx". So I said yeah if you want anyway Im off to bed as I have work in the morning. Asked me to text him the next day.
He text me the next day, Wednesday. We were talking and he said again "well we will have to chill out at yours if we dont end up doing anything at all xx". All sounded positive to me. We were both free at the weekend and on the Friday.
He text me on the Thursday just general chatting. Then really early on the Friday (like 4am) got a text which said "me u should meet baby x" I didnt reply with it being so early. Text in the morning and was chatting asked what I was doing etc. I asked what he was, which he replied nothing darl why what you thinking xxx" well I just put that I just wondered. Hoping that since we were both doing nothing he would ask to meet up. Still nothing. So didnt meet up on the Friday.
Text a little bit yesterday. Sent me a text last night. Said he had gone to clubs but there was some trouble so he was heading home. I just put well you know where I am if you want to talk. This morning (Sunday) he replied saying thanks for last night and how was I and did I have any plans. No nothing planned. You? No. Still not asked to meet up. So wasted weekend which we have both been free.
Why has he told me so many times he wants to meet up but then when we are both free not actually ask to meet up?
Homegirl 50
Sep 12, 2010, 07:10 AM
Maybe he is waiting for you to invite him to your place, which I would not do.
This guy sounds like a player. The moment he gets a piece he'll be gone.