First of all, Ive been separated from my husband for over 1yr now, wich has forced me to live with my parent, UFORTUNATLEY, I might add, I did move out for a reasn, but parents are parents and they will always be there for you. Everything goes well, but when it comes to my daughter, we are like cats and dogs. My daughte has adhd, and slightly has a little of autisim, only cause she likes to smell everything, I mean everything, and she puts things in her mouth. My mother, keeps on blaming me she's like that because the way I am with her, that I don't disipline her the hard way like screaming and hitting her , the hard way, I don't believe in hitting cause I didn't like it when I was small, so I don't do that to my kids but I still get after them, by talking to them and restricting them from things when they do bad. My daughter is very active, non-stop, from running back and forth, twirling in circles, talking childlike, and doing very annoying thing, including sounding annoying, and it drives my mom and dad crazy, and when I tell her to stop she keeps on doing those things, and then they tell me that I'm not disipling her, and that its my fault she has adhd cause I don't scream or hit her. They don't understand the concept of a child having adhd, and my daughter has been through a lot as in changing schools, changing states, from cali to Texas, new brother, no father, seeing her father with another lady, plus all that and having adhd, imagine how my child feels. I understand her, but my parents dond understad a child with adhd. For example: when she smells things, my mom says, "what, will you smell your (ca-ca)too" also when she's acting up they have told her to stop acting that way case people will think she is retarded. There is a lot going on, too much to write about, but this is part of my life right now, any body got any advice for me. The smart thing to do I know is to move out, but I'm not working right now, I have two kids, I don't get child support, it feels like I'm in my own world, that this is my life, back to square one. HELP!! PLEASE!!

First. Why no child support? Get an attorney or call ORS and
Get the support your daughter deserves.

You need to educate your parents. I know the library has information
On ADHD on DVD.
Try to get them to talk about it , show them information on how
To deal with this.
Remind them that corporal punishment can land you in jail and
Their granddaughter in foster care.
Yelling and hitting is not the way to deal with ADHD.

This is what I would try to do in your situation for the short term.

For the long term, try to get some training that will lead to a job, your
Own place, and control of your life.
Simple to say , extremely hard to do.
But it is something you can consider and look into getting
Some help from the feds or state to help you do this.

BUT... child support should be the first thing you work on.

I wish you well and pray you find the way that is best for your girl and you.

I agree with "Martinizing2". You can contact your local Child Support Agency to get the ball rolling towards receiving child support. That's what they're there for. Either the father pays up or his face is on the side of a milk carton.. and he faces jail time to boot. Meanwhile, the support fees accumulate regardless. This is money he will owe until paid. That can keep him from owning a home, a car & anything else he so desires in his now "freedom" from reponsibilities. So do yourself & your kids that favor & take advantage of the laws that are place to protect you & the kids.

You stated you don't work & you have a new son. The little girl has her own issues that you need some help with. My son was ADHD too. They called it hyperactivity back when. One thing I did learn is these kids cannot handle sugar of any sort. Than amplifies their behavior to the extreme. Get her off sugar products. The other is food coloring. Our prepared food at the stores are full of not so good chemicals to make them last on the shelves & to taste better.

So it's best to cook for them from scratch eliminating many of those unnecessary chemicals, sugars & food coloring dyes. Not an easy task. I know that firsthand. But doable. Our country is plagued with ADHD children. Most being chemically induced by the products we feed them.. even the baby food. All of it is enhanced by some means of toxicity. So buy organic which is more costly or buy from a Farmer's Market where much is grown locally & usually cheaper than the grocery stoires.

I would think that your qualitfy for state aid... food stamps, day care, etc. They can also train you for a specific job market. Use these services & that will ease some of the tension at your parent's home.

I was raised under the same deal.. you get smacked, hit with a tree limb, or the belt. Those are the ways of old bad habits to discipline children. Well it leave scar mentally as well as physically that no one can undo. Is that a good thing? Hum? Some will actually agree that it is, sadly enough.

Your parents already raised their child or children so they are at that ripe old age where they want peace in their lives, which does mean they don't want to nor are they up to... rearing more kids. They, like many thousands of other parents did their job once you turn 18 or when their kids could afford to move out on their own. Now the tide has turned on them & you too.

The economic downfall along with some good excuses & a mix of laziness added in, the adult kids are moving back in with Ma & Pa & bringing their kids to boot. Not what was expected to happen in thee parent's eyes for the most part.

So yes, they are frustrated, growly & angry at the noise & the disruption in their lives when it should have been their years to relax & do what they want to do, when they want to do it.

Now their house needs cleaned more often. Kids leave things out all over the house. So there should be a designated play area. You have to work more with the little girl to calm her down & that's feeding her better natural foods you can cook & bake yourself.

Nope, the parents are not up to this, Sorry, this is the truth. But they did offer you a roof & in return you need to step it up a bit by taking charge of your predicament & (it's not your parents to own) seek financial support from the father & get signed up for food stamps & free day care so you can learn a trade that will help you be more self-sufficient. You will also get medical help for free & then seek out some help for this child to ease your mind too. Has she been diagnosied with slight autism & the ADHD? There is help out there for you. You have to seek it out. You can't battle with your parents & not have it affect all of you under that roof. Your battle is to get up & get moving towards betterment & you will need some help to get you back on your feet for the time being. So get it!

If your parents are willing to watch the kids while you go get signed up for additional help, I'm betting they will gladly do that for you. As they will benefit by it just as much. You can take a bus if you've no other means of transportation. Maybe your Dad will take you? Or a friend.

I've never known too many adult children enjoying the fact that they have to move back in with their parents for whatever the reason. Anymore than the parent enjoys it. But they allow it. That's your blessing.

Now it's your chance to hand one back to Ma & Pa. Get back on your feet. No excuses.. just do it. Your life will have new meaning by this one act of courage. You will be happier & so will the kids. That's worth fighting for, is it not?

I wish you lots of good luck. We are women, hear us roar & all of that... You can do it.

Ask your parents to go to a meeting for children with Autism, sounds like when you say slightly autistic, might mean Aspergers. Which means that your daughter on top of being adhd has even harder time understanding how to socialize. Children have a real hard time adjusting being out of their element and routine.
You need to see if there is Autism society around you, maybe they can help by letting you know when there are meetings so you can take your parents and help educate them. Remember people really have no idea what your going through unless they have been through it themselves " But By the grace of God go I". People can empathize, but they have no idea how we worry who is going to be there for this child when he/she turns 33 and their social skills may not be good enough to find employment. Find the way to get out on your own, your child needs a routine.
Check with schools see if they need any help, that way you will still be close at hand for your children.

Has your child actually been diagnosed with ADHD and Autism? If so, what services are you receiving as far as treatment, education, etc.

What services does she receive at school?

Be sure to ask her doctor or school for information that can help all of you better handle the situation. ADHD is not a free pass for inappropriate behavior (if that is also an issue) it just changes how you deal with it, and having the right tools and information to help you will allow you to better help her in all aspects.