View Full Version : I still have feelings for her, but...
ellie216
Sep 2, 2010, 05:45 PM
I've been with my girl for 2 1/2 years and I love her and I still find her very attractive, but I don't want to be with her anymore. At least not for right now. I honestly just want to take a short break and have a little fun, which it seems that Im not allowed to have anymore. When we started dating, and for the first year or so, we bonded really well and had lots of fun together. She never before had a problem with that much of what I did, but her distaste for some of the things I do and my beliefs have really become more and more evident, especially in the area of religion. She constantly nags me when we are in public, but when we are alone everything is fine. We don't really talk all that much anymore, but we still do enjoy talking when we have a subject to talk about. We have a lot in common and I do love her, but I want a short break. Im scared, though. Im not scared of being alone, Im fine with that. What Im scared of is that she won't take me back when Im ready to come back to her. What should I do? Should I risk it and call for the break, or should I just stay with her?
I worded some of this terribly, I hope you still get my point
Homegirl 50
Sep 2, 2010, 05:53 PM
Break up with her and be done with it. If you later decide you want her back and she is still available, good for you, if not, that's the way it goes.
Tell her you two are in two different places and you want out.
That is the only option that is fair to both of you.
She may be feeling the same way about you.
martinizing2
Sep 2, 2010, 08:16 PM
If you need the break be honest with her
And tell her.
Just don't expect her to hang around and wait
For you while you're out having fun.
Would it be OK with you if she did the same
Things you intend to do while on your break?
If you decide to stay, work on your relationship.
Start by communicating with her.
Tell her the things she does that bother you,
And ask what you could do to make her happier.
You need excellent lines of communication to take
A lot of the bumps out of a relationship.
Stop guessing how each other feels , and start asking.
Communication can be a great preventer of many problems.
And preventing is 100 times easier than fixing.
If you break up and be honest with her
It will give you the best chance of getting back,
But I'd say usually the chances are slim.
If you decide to stay with her and fix your relationship,
Honest communication is the key.
I wish you well.
Devorameira
Sep 3, 2010, 05:11 AM
People that are in a healthy relationship talk to each other and work out their problems... they don't run from their problems.
What do you think you could accomplish by taking a short break? Will her attitude change? No. Will her views on your religion change? No. Will she stop nagging? No.
If you aren't happy in this relationship you need to break up, NOT take a short break. Just know that you most likely will lose her for good.
She may be upset for a while, but then she'll find herself a new fellow that really loves her and wants to be with her.
sosooo
Sep 3, 2010, 06:33 PM
I think that if you really love her you can't stand being away from her. If you are thinking about '' short break '' that means that you don't love her like in the past.
I feel that you a bored and looking for freedom. Break up with her , that's better. Don't make her live a lie.
Homegirl 50
Sep 3, 2010, 06:54 PM
It's time to stop lying to her and say good bye.
ellie216
Sep 4, 2010, 06:29 AM
Thank you all for the responses. I do love her very much, Im not lying to her about it, or anything really. I do want to be with her, and no one else, as it seems that some of you made the assumption that I wanted to go with somebody else. I just don't want her on my case about everything I do. I think that, for now at least, Im going to stay with her and just try and work on the communication.
Homegirl 50
Sep 4, 2010, 06:42 AM
I honestly just want to take a short break and have a little fun, which it seems that Im not allowed to have anymore.
You may love her but you are unhappy with her. So staying and pretending is lying to her.
But yes talk to her. Tell her you're unhappy and why and see where it goes from there.
talaniman
Sep 4, 2010, 12:09 PM
Why can't you just go fishing with the guys if all you want is a short break to have fun?? That's what guys do. The problems you have with her are worked on through honest communications together.