PDA

View Full Version : How do I prove the father of my child is unfit? I am so scared for my son around him!


adra02
Aug 29, 2010, 11:52 PM
I have a 22month old. We were never married and he has been in and out of this child's life. I've had enough of him with this because its spiteful my phone erased the messages one of which he stated he filed this because I moved out and spoke to his mom about what he hasn't been doing. He's angry. There's so many issues to where I'm afraid to leave my son alone however I have never tried to keep my son away. I've allowed him to come visit anytime he wanted to. However if he shows up he likes to come at almost 9pm! I've even allowed him to get him a few times after him going on about he is changed and full of God. When I get my son back he's either soiled, very thirsty and hungry, he's crying uncontrollably, and just recently he's had a mark on his leg and arm which wasn't there before he left me. He states nothing happened which is a complete lie because where did the marks come from? If he fell or something then where was he? He's known for falling asleep leaving him unattended @ 15 months and under. One recent visit he was a few minutes late in returning my son and I've known him for years it was obvious he was asleep! I could tell he just jumped up I sure he fell asleep on my son. He does nothing. He kicked us out of the home (which we barely lived but our furniture and some clothes was there due to me thinking he was cleaning up his act. I didn't stay completely due to his nasty living condirtions and complaining of me keeping it clean, etc) he drinks but now after the idiot attorney I have stating these things he's claiming he doesn't drink anymore which is a lie.

My attorney is telling me my issues aren't enough to bring up to court. All I am asking is for supervised visits when he visits with my son... I'm not trying to revoke all his visits however if the court grants that I would be fine with that! I want justice served. I've written state reps and senators because this is a horrible problem with so many parents trying to protect their children.

I ask him for nothing I simply moved out and went on. I spoke with his mother just to inform her of the move and that they were welcome to visit or I could meet them somewhere... next thing I know I'm being served for joint custody and visitation. Throughouit this I've tried over and over with him, I've invited him to events with us since he's "changed" I just simply wanted to see this "change" and interact with our son. He shows up to nothing he has excuses he doesn't help financially. When I spoke with him about the marks he laughed at it. He's very unreasonable has anger issues and is being spiteful not even caring about who he's hurting. He's doing a good job at hurting me and that's all he cares to do, he's not looking at the fact that our child is in the middle of this and bing hurt. My son is suffering from anxiety according to his doc and I told him so he could stop this back and forth. He said "so what" and laughed. I have pics of the bruise but I'm being told its too broad of an issue, pics of beers everywhere and his home, pics of basty house, pics of him nearly dropping his nephew and the caption saying "child abuse". He grabs our son by the arm, he trips him up when he was just learning to walk and he would fall on his face, he's given him an open bottle of beer to hold like its funny, he plays video games n Facebook instead of caring for our son I couldn't even take a shower or cook without something happening to my son. My son's lip was busted because he wasn't watching him, my sons been unattended in the bathroom all at 15 months or less, he has beer bottle tops, coins and my son nearly swollowed. There's emotional abuse calling me names and he says mean thing to/about my son like a child. He laughed because my son face was scratched (his own nails) n he threatened physical abuse on me, yells screams hits walls in front of our son. My son is now exhibiting that type of behavior.

My son is very advanced for his age everyone says so and I'm constantly getting praises. I take my time and care for him, I'm a student so I'm not just sitting around doing nothing and my family helps me and my son out sooo much! I live here temporarily I'm trying to find a good job and would love to relocated its so hard to find a job in sc! He doesn't want me to move he says he's miserable so he wants me to be too.

My son has no relationship with him even living in the home because he never did anything with him hed come in and go out drink. His way of playing with him is scaring him. My son runs from opening doors and is scared when people show their teeth which I believe is a result of his immature father, my son has a heart murmer. He's had cat scan for fluid on brain twice which was foind to be negative thank God. His father has never been to an appointment ever. He doesn't call and hasn't seen himnow for over a month. Also I should add the incident where he told us to get out hitting walls threatening to beat me... he was driving drunk. He attempted to leave again and nearly killed someone driving past because he was backing up crazy he almost killed two innocent people. He kept running around outside like he was insane and he kept trying to get my son whilke he was drunk and out of control like this! I have a message from June of him telling me "when u have nothing over my head then what are you going to do?" does that hold any weight?! Ckearly he's admitting to all this! I have no reason to lie. I'm so stressed. I'm back and forth to the doctor. I'm having heart issues. I'm only 26.

He and I have lawyers and now he's trying to get visits. Agaiin I ask how does it look for me to get them supervised at least? What about me moving... the online visits? Any help would be great! My son is my world!

Also I've called the police twice recently, they couldn't do anything in sc cause there's no order which I think sucks with a child in danger!. he came here unexpected and appeared to try to take my son. After telling him to let him go repeatedly and my son crying mommy mommy I had to take my son out of his arms. Also he's driven crazy with him in the car. And please understand these 2 things only happened because I allowed visits based off an agreement between attorneys I've just learned I didn't have to allow them so I stopped them after my son came back with the mark and never having food or drinks that I pack nothing is even touched. My son screaming he's hungry. I'm at wits end I need help!

His attorney scheduuled a temp hearimg. I'm new to all this. Is it too much if I ask for supervised visits? Do I really have to get child support money? He complains about it now and threaten to sue me for things (my things) I removed from the home after he kicked us out "you and him get out of my house" I have a witness. What do I need to do??

GV70
Aug 30, 2010, 02:48 AM
my attorney is telling me my issues arent enough to bring up to court.

Your attorney is right.




all i am asking is for supervised visits when he visits with my son.... im not trying to revoke all his visits however if the court grants that i would be fine with that! i want justice served. ive written state reps n senators because this is a horrible problem with so many parents trying to protect their children.

The general rule is that a parent not granted custody of a child is entitled to visit with the child unless the court finds after a hearing that visitation would endanger the child's physical, mental, moral or emotional health.

Generally, visitation can't be reduced or restricted without finding that the child is adversely affected or that reduction would serve the child's best interests. The following types of acts are contrary to the child's best interests:

* Violence or Physical Endangerment - A noncustodial parent may be denied visitation rights if the parent has abused the child or has threatened physical violence.

* Emotional Harm - Where proof is offered of the potential emotional harm to the child from visitation, a parent's rights may be curtailed or denied. Emotional harm may be shown by evidence that visitation detrimentally affects the child's welfare.
* Child's Wishes - The courts may consider the child's wishes as to visitation. The weight to be given the child's preference depends on the child's age and maturity.

* Mental Illness - A parent's mental incapacity doesn't automatically deprive the parent of visitation rights. Visitation rights may be curtailed only if the court determines that there's a potential for harm to the child due to the parent's condition.

* Substance Abuse - A parent who abuses drugs or alcohol may be denied visitation only if the conduct endangers the child's welfare.

* Sexual Behavior - Courts rarely deny visitation solely on the basis of a nonmarital heterosexual relationship between the noncustodial parent and a girlfriend or boyfriend. Courts will cancel overnight visitation by a child with a parent because of the parent's cohabitation only upon a showing of adverse impact on the child. On the matter of homosexual relationships, courts differ on whether homosexuality is a bar to a parent having visitation privileges.

* Incarceration - A parent's incarceration isn't sufficient to deny visitation. Visitation rights may be suspended where visits may be damaging to the child.

* Religion - Because both parents are entitled to the free exercise of religion, a noncustodial parent can instruct the child in his or her religious beliefs absent a showing of harm to the child.

* Abduction - There must be a showing that there's a strong probability of abduction to limit visitation on that basis.


i have pics of the bruise but im being told its too broad of an issue,

Sorry but I cannot see from your post that there are conditions for supervised visitation.


it look for me to get them supervised at least? what about me moving... the online visits? any help would be great! my son is my world!

Once more I am going to repeat your attorney, Your issues are not enough to bring up it to court.

GV70
Aug 30, 2010, 06:04 AM
i what do i need to do???

At first you need to use capital letters when you start a new sentence.

jess4275
Sep 9, 2010, 07:50 PM
I am going through the same thing with my little girls daddy. He is a major P.O.S. and just wants to be in my child's life to hurt me, but it's not about me, it's about my baby and what is going to be the best thing for her. Anyway... Just take notes of everything that happens or that he says and keep your mouth shut when he is around you. Don't talk to him AT ALL because any little thing you say can come back and bite you in the butt. Let him talk to your little boy on the phone and you only talk to him if it is something major. Listen to your lawyer... They know what their talking about, even if it sounds like they don't at times. But anyway, keep your head up, and good luck!